Ffff-fuck.. (My dick!) My nuts..
My attitude is worse than NWAs was
Ill battle you over stupid shit and diss people
who aint have shit to do with it,
like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside of your buildin;
screamin,
"Puffy is good, (HEY!)
but Slim Shady is for the children!" (WAIT!)
I look at my life in a new light
fuck it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me
fuck what you like
Youre probably hear me rap half-hearted;
cause I dont like rap anyway
Im just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+
Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went (* zipper sound *) "Come on, lets go!"
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard
as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?)
Dont give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me)
and make em come to your basement and listen (youre gonna fuckin check this out)
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label;
switch demos with Canibus
and put yours on the owners table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: Know you heard this before
"Hey let me get your number;
Ill call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Dont act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P.
and have them come see you perform live
And thats the key, but when you see me on the street;
I aint givin you shit bitch
dont even bother askin me (get away from me)
Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when Im spittin
cause Im always shittin when
Im rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!)
Got a blowjob from Paula Jones,
and stuffed it so far in her mouth
my balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!)
Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah ("Its all about me..")
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis,
mono and gonorrhea ("Youre a dick!")
And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in
and caught me fuckin Aaliyah(What? Oh my God!)
I splish splash while Im takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills,
break em in half,
take em and laugh
White trash
fuckin your wife in the ass ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!")
While youre out siphoning gas
for your lawnmower to cut the grass
So if I hurt your self-esteem
and you get dissed too bad
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"I cant listen to that song, that shits too sad!"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"Hell never make it, his wrist is slit too bad!"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
What a wonderful day;
I should go outside and play
Aint no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!)
I was just about to toss a live grenade
in your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *)
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
Blood drippin from it,
rippi