作词 : Zappa
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin' 'n dancin' 'n payin'
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are clean outta-site
And they're ready to party cause the sign outside says it's
Wet T-Shirt Nite
And they all crave some hot delight

Well the girls are excited because in a minute
They're gonna get wet
And the boys are delighted because all the titties
Will get 'em upset
And they all think they're reety-alright
And they're ready to boogie cause the sign outside says it's
Wet T-Shirt Nite
'N they all crave some pink delight

When the water gets on 'em their ninnies get rigid
'N look pretty bold
It's a common reaction that makes an attraction
Whenever it's cold
An' all of the fellas they wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin' off tonight
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's Wet T-Shirt Time again!
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
Big ones!
Wet ones!
Big wet ones!

Ah, thanks, Ike
Yes, it's Wet T-Shirt Time again
Here at The Brasserie, home of the tits... huh huh
And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals
Hi, Mary... how'ya doin'?
Hi!
Where ya from?
Ah, the bus
Which one?
You know... the last tour
You know... Leather
Oh, you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38
On Phydeaux III
Why don't you get in position now and take a deep breath
Because this water is very, very cold
But it's goin' to be so stimulating
And Mary's the kind
Of red-blooded American girl who'll do anything
I said anything for fifty bucks, that's right! (Anything)
I really need the fifty bucks you know
I gotta get home!
Yeah, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed...
That's right, you heard right...
Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars
To the girl with the most exciting mammalian protruberances!
Here I am!
...as viewed through a thoroughly soaked
Stupid looking white sort of male person's conservative
Kind of middle-of-the-road cotton undergarment!
Whoopee! And here comes the water!
Ah!
No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you...
Sounds like you just got an ice pick in the forehead...
And here comes the ice pick in the forehead!
Oooh, ha ha
A million laughs, Mary!
Anyway; good golly, what a mess, she's totally soaked
Totally- (I love it)
Yeah, totally committed to the fifty bucks
That's it just step into the spotlight
Let the guys get a good look at ya, honey!
Here I am!
Whaddya say, fellas? Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how's about shakin' it around a little?
Ooooh!
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
Oooh! I'm dancing!
Ain't this what living is really all about?
Here's your fifty bucks, Mary...
Oh great! Now I can go home! Oooh!
Home is where the heart is
On the bus!