huang ban xian xia

Song 黄半仙(下)
Artist 刘宝瑞
Album 刘宝瑞单口相声大全

Lyrics

[00:01.16] 说他这卦怎么灵的呀?怎么灵的,老黄他有个琢磨劲儿,他心里想着:她是一个儿媳妇,这个儿媳妇呢,每天得打水挑水,得做菜做饭,挑水做菜做饭呢,除了锅台旁边,就是围着水缸转。结果呢他就说这俩地方。嗯,到锅台旁边儿真给找着了。嗬!打这一来呀,更嚷嚷动了。这一嚷嚷动啊,有一天,李二嫂上这儿来了。李二哥走了仨多月,音讯皆无,没来信。二嫂来了:
[00:45.09] “黄大哥,您看我们那口子走了仨多月了,也没来信,我怪不放心的,您说他得多咱(何时)回来呀?”
[00:54.39] “啊,算卦呀!”
[00:59.29] “啊!”
[01:00.67] “嗯,好”
[01:06.03] 装着掐手指头,他先不给算,跟李二嫂说话。
[01:12.10] “嘿,弟妹,你也真是的,有什么事儿你打发别人找我还不行吗?干吗非得自己来呀!你看你挺重的身子,怎么还出门呀!”
[01:24.80] “噢,不要紧的,我刚九个月。”
[01:29.15] “噢……嗯,算出来了!你男人啊,这个月不回来,也不来信了,下月准回来,去吧。”
[01:42.45] 嗬,下月还准回来!结果怎么着?到下月还真回来了,也真没来信。又灵了!这回他怎么灵的呢?
[01:56.36] 怎么灵的?老黄他有个琢磨劲儿。他一听说怀胎九个月了,哎,他想这个道理,这个女人怀孕哪,他男人心里有数,他知道!仨月不来信,那就是净等着到时候回来伺候月子人哪!哎,到下月还真回来了。打这儿可就了不得了,就给嚷嚷动了。不单嚷嚷他能掐会算,并且给他起了名,叫“黄半仙”。一传十,十传百,百传千,千传万,村传镇,镇传县。传来传去,就传到北京了。
[02:43.97] 到了北京啊,嘿!该着老黄发财。怎么该着他发财啊?北京皇宫内院丢了东西啦!丢什么啦!道光皇上丢了一颗夜明珠!能避蚊蝇,一大颗夜明珠。这夜明珠这么一丢啊,道光皇上可急了。马上就把九门提督宣上殿来,大大地申斥了一顿。九门提督是管治安的,盗匪啊,有什么问题都得找他。把九门提督申斥一顿,限三天限,找回夜明珠还则罢了,找不回来夜明珠,降级罚俸!
[03:30.35] 三天?五天也找不回来呀!怎么回事情?偷夜明珠这主儿不好逮呀!谁呀?宫里头的太监大总管崔英监守自盗,您说这玩意哪儿找去?九门提督在宫外头找,当然是找不到啦!
[03:53.21] 三天找不着,上金殿,怎么着?降级罚俸。再等五天找不着,上金殿,降级罚俸。简断截说,一个半月没找着,坏了!一个半月没找着,这九门提督降级降得都跑到御马圈遛马去了!没主意啊!
[04:18.29] 这天道光皇上恼了,在金殿上大发雷霆:“养兵千日,用兵一时,我这个夜明珠丢了一月有余,你们文武百官若无其事,是怎么回事呀?你们是想着,全遛马去啊?”
[04:41.04] 大伙一听都害怕了:呼啦!跪下一大片,有一位侍郎那荣,往前跪趴半步:
[04:50.91] “启奏我主万岁,奴才闻听人言,在前门外西河沿,有一个算卦的叫诸葛周,这个人算卦灵,如果要把他找来,占算夜明珠的下落,定知分晓!”
[05:09.94] 皇上一听:“来呀!”就叫大总管太监崔英,“去!找去!”
[05:17.45] 这崔英这么一听,鼻子都给气歪了。怎么?夜明珠是他监守自盗。嘿,心说:侍郎这老那荣,你好好跪着你的得了,你出这主意干吗呀?“其术如神”,灵!灵到这儿一算,算出来我偷的,我怎么办哪?可是皇上传旨,他又不能不找,没办法,骑着马找去吧!带着从人找去了。到了西河沿一打听,第六个门,路北的那门,来到跟前一看,好!门口有三棵白杉篙,绑着杨柳枝儿,贴着白条写着“恕报不周”。一问哪,嘿,诸葛周死了!嘿,崔英这个高兴啊!行啦,告诉皇上。皇上一听:
[06:09.63] “死了,再找别人,找别的算卦的,灵的就行!”
[06:13.76] “嗻。”
[06:14.29] 再找吧!又到了这个打磨厂里头,一看哪,门口挂着牌:“刘铁嘴”。
[06:25.35] 崔英下马进来了。
[06:29.92] “你会算卦呀?”
[06:32.92] 刘铁嘴一瞧,嚯,一看派头儿……
[06:36.89] “啊,我会算卦。”
[06:40.85] “灵不灵啊?”
[06:45.49] “您看我这个名字这不是贴着哪吗?‘刘铁嘴’,因为我是这个‘铁嘴钢牙’,我的卦是卦卦灵!”
[06:56.85] “嗯,真灵吗?”
[07:00.67] “啊,真灵!”
[07:02.67] “啊……那……回见吧!”
[07:06.70] 算卦的一瞧,这位大白天的撒呓症哪是怎么的?告诉你真灵啦,他“回见”啦,这什么毛病啊这是,倒走了!
[07:17.80] 哪儿知道崔英不敢找,真灵,你灵了,我脑袋搬家啦。
[07:22.67] 不行,再找别人。又找了一个,前门大街有个“孔明李”命馆,到那儿一问哪,也是灵!“回见吧!”他又出来了。
[07:34.16] 他一琢磨:这不行!灵啊,怎么办呢?噢,对了,别找命馆,天桥找卦摊儿去。对!找卦摊儿到挂摊儿一问:
[07:45.40] “你这卦灵不灵啊?”
[07:47.25] 他也说灵。是卦摊都得说灵。不灵?说不灵谁还算哪,他吃什么呀?问了几个卦摊儿,都说灵,找哇,嗬,可着北京城找了三天,北京城的卦摊儿都找遍了,连一个不灵的都没找着!这怎么办呢?第四天头儿上,心里一烦,带着从人:城里头找遍了,城外头找去,对!骑着马,信马由缰出城了。走了几十里地,天儿也热,累得慌啊,一看有个村子。
[08:23.96] “来来来,休息休息!”
[08:25.61] 下了马了,树底下有个小孩儿,就问了:
[08:29.09] “哎,你们这儿有算卦的没有?”
[08:33.03] “哎,有,就这个门儿!”
[08:35.99] 哎,就是黄半仙那门里头,这么一指。
[08:40.72] “噢,好!”往里就走。
[08:43.36] 这天老黄在家呢,在家干吗?正在那儿发愁哪。发什么愁啊?他媳妇又腿疼了,又要下雨。一会儿啊,他还得往屋里拾柴火,挪东西,麻烦!正这儿烦着哪,这么个工夫,哎,太监大总管崔英进来了。
[09:06.10] “你会算卦呀?”
[09:08.34] 老黄一听:
[09:09.32] “啊……我……我会……”
[09:15.50] “灵不灵啊?”
[09:17.49] 这一说灵不灵,还挺大的声儿。老黄一瞧他这派头儿,心说:我这卦,哪儿灵去呀?干脆,说实话吧!
[09:26.48] “嗯……我这卦……嗯……不灵。”
[09:31.69] “嗯?嘿!找了半天,敢情在这儿哪!好好好,哎呀,不灵?真不灵吗?”
[09:43.72] “唉……真不灵!”
[09:45.97] “嗬,行了,行了,赶紧地跟我走!”
[09:49.48] “跟您上哪儿呀?”
[09:50.89] “进北京,皇上夜明珠丢了,你给算卦去!”
[09:56.52] 老黄一听:怎么?那哪行啊!赶紧说:
[09:58.95] “……这位老爷……您……没听明白,我算的卦呀,它不灵!”
[10:05.37] “废话,灵了还不找你哪!走走走!”
[10:11.60] “不是……不灵!”
[10:13.12] “不灵也没关系,咱家告诉你,即便不灵,有咱家在旁边儿给你多说两句好话,给俩钱儿轰出来了,有什么关系啊?如果你要不去的话,现在就是抗旨不遵,午门外开刀问斩!”
[10:30.13] “唉,别价!”
[10:33.08] 一想这玩意儿:不去当时就死啊,要去了它不灵,还许给俩钱儿,轰出来……
[10:41.49] “嗯,……我……我去行吗?”
[10:44.18] “别费话!不行就是抗旨不遵,快走!”死乞白赖让快走。
[10:51.23] “唉……我快走,快走……这个……你好好在家里头看家吧。”
[10:59.67] “哟,你瞧瞧这……这是倒霉了嘛这不是,啊?我这腿还疼,你看,你现在就走?
[11:08.02] “啊,那也没法子,不走?抗旨不遵哪,你现在腿还疼,噢,对了,我拿着蓑衣!”
[11:15.73] 嗐,崔英一瞧:
[11:17.85] “挺好的天儿,你拿那干吗呀?”
[11:20.25] “嗯?……不是,您甭管了,用得上,今儿有雨!”
[11:26.35] 他是想,他媳妇腿疼呐,今儿就有雨。崔英哪,也没注这个意。
[11:32.82] “啊,走吧!”
[11:34.17] 把他带到北京,就把他安排到馆驿里头。到馆驿里头,老黄啊,吃也吃不下去,睡也睡不着,心里烦哪!
[11:47.05] “这玩意儿,怎么算哪?”
[11:48.33] 到半夜里头,好,哗……瓢泼大雨下起来了。老黄一想:倒霉,雨是下了,甭问哪,我老婆在家正那儿腿疼哪,唉,我让大官儿还给抓来了。就这位老爷,真要命,我说不灵啊,非让我来不可;他说了,给俩钱儿轰出去,哪儿那么便宜的事呀?给皇上算卦,我怎么算啊?嗯,丢夜明珠,我给找夜明珠,我哪儿去找哇?嗯,你要算个阴天下雨,我还能给算算呢——那也不好算哪!还得把我媳妇接来——这玩意儿找夜明珠,我怎么给算哪?我明儿给皇上算,我让他哪儿找去呀?锅台旁边?水缸后头?那皇宫里头有水缸吗?这玩意儿要命嘛这不是!
[12:58.59] 心里头烦哪,可又恨,恨谁啊?恨偷珠子这贼,他心里恨哪,坐那儿着急,嘴里头可就叨念出来了:
[13:14.09] “这贼也不对呀,嗯,你偷谁偷不了啊,你怎么单偷皇上啊?如果要知道是你偷的,你活得了吗?这位老爷也不对呀,我说我的卦不灵,我不来就完啦,你还死乞白赖地还催我来,催,催,我来了,你活得了吗?”
[13:44.78] 他那意思是你把我催来了,我来了,我来了我要算得不灵,你活得了吗?我要算得不灵,你也活不了。他心里是这意思,指着外头:
[13:55.09] “我要不来,你活得了吗?”
[13:57.95] 得,这句话,隔墙有耳,有人听见了。谁呀?大总管崔英。他干吗来了?哎,他把老黄安排到馆驿呀,他回府了,摆上饭,吃饭喝酒,心里高兴:哎,行了,明儿个给皇上一算卦,算不出来,把他杀了,没我的事。嘿,这珠子呀,我呀这辈子也犯不了案了!哎,行,看那模样,就不象有能耐的相儿,有能耐的能那模样吗?高兴!
[14:44.02] 嘿,正这儿高兴着哪,哗……外头下起雨来了,这一下雨,他心里一机灵。
[14:51.94] 嗯?不对,他算的卦不灵?不灵他披蓑衣干吗呀?他怎么告诉今儿有雨啊?哎呀,别是“真人不露相,露相不真人”吧?说不灵,明儿到金銮宝殿灵了,偷珠子的就是他!得,我完了!哎,这可受不了,不……我得听听消息去!
[15:25.65] 这样他来了,来到这儿也不许人通禀,自己呢就来到这个黄半仙的房子外头,站在屋门这儿,刚往那儿一站,正听里边说。他来的这时候,头两句说过去了,他往门口一站,里头正说这句哪:
[15:45.83] “催,催!我来了,你活的了吗?”
[15:52.75] 他还指着外头。崔英一听:啊?“催,催,我来了”,他来了;“你活得了吗”?我……我是活不了啊!这玩意儿他算出来是我啦!哎呀,他……这个……
[16:10.39] 你倒是再听听啊,也没往下听,一害怕,一推门进来,咕嘚儿就给跪下啦:
[16:16.58] “哎……这个……半仙饶命,半仙饶命!’”
[16:22.31] 他往那一跪,先进来,老黄吓一跳,一看大总管跪在这儿啦,不知道怎么回事,一听“半仙饶命,半仙饶命”,老黄他能够察言观色,一看这大总管浑身直哆嗦,也不知道怎么回事,他能够沉得住气:
[16:43.59] “哎,甭害怕,甭害怕,起来说,起来说,什么事啊,你?”
[16:52.04] “啊……哎哟,半仙饶命,您这卦算得真灵,您来了,我……我是活不了啦,我知道您算得对,这珠子不错是我偷的,是我偷的,您救救命吧。”
[17:08.12] 老黄一听:噢!这么回事呀!老黄也真能装模作样,沉得住气:
[17:16.40] “嘿……哎呀,是你偷的!哼,早就算出是你偷的啦!不但算出珠子是你偷的,哼,而且我还算出来,你把珠子藏在什么地方了。”
[17:38.63] 拿话诈,崔英一听啊,哟,都算出……心里也二愣,能算出来?那我让他说说。
[17:50.15] “啊,是……半仙,您算出来了,那么您算出我那珠子,您说我藏在哪儿啦?”
[17:57.63] 这要是搁别人,一问这句,准得问趴下,老黄啊,能说会道,老黄一听:
[18:04.45] “嗯,哼哼,算出来了。我说你这珠子藏哪儿啦,我说?我说是说,现在不说,明儿个见皇上一块儿说!”
[18:20.94] “哎……别价!您怎么不在这儿说呀?”
[18:26.58] “嗯?我在这儿我跟你说什么呀,我说‘我算出来了,我知道你藏在哪儿啦’?我不说,让你自己说,我看看你敢跟我说瞎话不敢。”
[18:37.72] 嘿!这么一听。
[18:41.00] “哎呀……半仙饶命您哪,我不敢说瞎话,我那珠子,我就埋在那个御花园的芭蕉树底下啦!”
[18:50.56] “啊,这还罢了。我算着也是在那儿埋着嘛!”
[18:55.16] 他也不知多咱算来的?!
[18:59.57] “你起来吧。”
[19:00.96] “是,半仙,您……干吗半仙哪,简直您就是活神仙啦,您算得真对,明儿个求您见皇上的时候,别说是我偷的,我……送您五百(两)银子。”
[19:17.15] 老黄一听,一冷笑:“哈……
[19:21.91] 他那意思哪,嘿,这家伙不打自招了!他是这样,可是他这一冷笑啊,崔英不知道他什么事呀,以为他嫌少呢。
[19:33.26] “啊……噢,五百不行,我给您一千。”
[19:36.96] 又加五百!
[19:39.46] “噢,好了,好了,你起来吧。明天我给皇上算卦的时候呀,我替你瞒着点儿就是了。”
[19:46.81] 算什么啊?卦还没算呢,先收一千两银子的卦礼了,他倒闹着了。行啦!
[19:54.38] 到了第二天,崔英引荐他上朝见皇上,见完皇上,皇上还很高兴,平身赐座,让他掐算夜明珠的下落,老黄怎么算哪?当然崔英都说了,那也得装模作样的来来呀!心里想:得掐掐诀,念念咒。嗯,掐诀(学手势),念咒怎么念哪?也不会念咒啊,想起什么念什么:“一二三,二二三,七八九十念真言……”
[20:33.99] 文武百官一听,怎么着?要变戏法呀!这是什么咒啊?
[20:41.09] “按照卦中来判断,夜明珠现在御花园。”皇上一听:“来,摆驾御花园!”
[20:51.31] 摆驾御花园啦。到御花园里头,皇上说了:“哎,黄仙师,寡人偌大御花园,夜明珠究竟在何处啊?”
[21:02.54] “啊,我再给您占算占算。”(学掐诀手势,念咒)
[21:07.30] “半仙本姓黄,今日见君王,夜明珠在何处?啊……这芭蕉树下藏!”
[21:20.41] 他真能装模作样的!皇上一听:
[21:23.15] “好,刨!”
[21:25.21] 锹镐齐下。
[21:26.57] “哎,轻着点儿,不要伤了国宝!”
[21:31.11] 嗬,装模作样的。没刨两下,本来崔英把这珠子埋得也不深,刨出来了,由太监擦干净了,递给皇上啦,皇上一瞧,太高兴了。
[21:44.35] “哎呀,黄半仙,真是黄仙师,这卦实在是灵。哎,黄仙师,你算一算寡人的夜明珠究竟被何人所盗?何人所埋?”
[22:00.12] 谁偷的,谁埋的这是?
[22:02.43] 老黄啊,没防备问这句啊,抽冷子一问,一扬头,瞧了崔英一眼。崔英啊,心差点儿打嗓子眼儿里蹦出来,不知道他要说什么呀?往下一听还好。
[22:20.56] “啊……啊……万岁,夜明珠乃是无价之宝,乃是奇珍异宝,日久年深,受了日精月华,这是它自己溜达来啦!”
[22:41.89] 皇上一听:“嗯,言之有理!”
[22:45.90] 您瞧这份儿昏君劲儿,他还当言之有理呢!那夜明珠自己会溜达过去?!
[22:53.51] 回到金銮宝殿。
[22:54.72] “黄仙师,算得真灵,来呀,赏给黄仙师……两碟萨其玛!”那么一颗大宝珠找着了,就给两块萨其玛,您就知道他这人小气不小气啦!
[23:07.81] (皇上心想)不能让他走,我再试验试验他,如果他每一卦都算得这么灵,那就封他在朝为官。封他在朝为官于我有好处啊!谁再做了什么事也瞒不了我啦!他就给我算出来了!哎,这样儿就不让他走。
[23:26.99] 可是老黄心里可烦了,老黄心里琢磨着:这不是没影儿的事情吗?把我留下来,我……我在这儿干吗呀?伴君如伴虎啊!真要命,我知道他哪时候有什么事呀!
[23:45.26] 心里头挺烦,心里琢磨着:明儿个我得想主意跟他说:我回家。对!想个抽身之计。赶到了第二天早朝,崔英领着黄半仙上朝,奏事处太监那儿喊;
[24:02.37] “圣上传旨,宣黄半仙随旨进殿!”
[24:06.24] 头一个就选他,干吗呀?
[24:10.07] 干吗?皇上这夜明珠找着了,高兴,一宿都没睡觉,挺老早的打后宫就来坐殿。往前走,走到御花园这儿呵,哎!正走到一棵枣树底下,这棵枣树啊,是明代时候三保太监下西洋移植过来的,这种枣叫“珠枣”,滴溜圆,那么大个儿(比画),通红,可是得熟了红。现在呢还生着哪,湛青碧绿这么一个枣子,皇上瞧着好看,顺手就给摘下来了,一琢磨:哎,有了,我让黄半仙算算我这手里是什么?如果再算对了,他这卦真灵,那就是灵,我封他在朝为官,对!
[25:10.08] 这样呢,宣黄半仙随旨进殿。黄半仙往这儿一跪,应该平身赐座。刚一让他平身,这回没赐座。
[25:20.68] “平身。”
[25:21.97] 黄半仙站起来了,皇上一攥这拳头,一举:
[25:26.97] “黄仙师,你的卦算得灵,来来来,你算算朕的手中何物!”
[25:35.27] 老黄一想:哎呀,这怎么算呀?这个……当然他害怕呀,心里害怕,脸上赶紧地,装模作样不带相儿。心里这儿想主意,他又琢磨了,琢磨什么?心里想:他手里到底是什么?噢……这拳头就攥这么大,明白了,一定是他那颗心爱的夜明珠,对不对?这珠子找到了,怕再丢了,珠不离手,手不离珠,早晨起来就把这个拿出来了,那甭问,夜明珠,对。
[26:22.76] 可是他要说夜明珠,当时就杀,欺君之罪,算不对啦!他这说的好:
[26:33.35] “万岁……”
[26:34.20] 他要说这么句话,“大清早您就拿您这心爱的夜明珠来玩赏啊”,他是这么句话,他刚说了半句。
[26:47.08] “万岁,大清早您就……”
[26:49.68] 皇上说:
[26:50.36] “哎,对,是大青枣……”
[26:53.32] 嘿!他这么灵的他!
[27:01.16] 皇上一张手,老黄一瞧,吓得小辫儿都立起来了:嗬,好家伙,老爷子,得亏我说“大清早”啊,我要是说“大早晨”还麻烦了,这玩意儿!哟!
[27:25.16] “启奏我主万岁,草民我要回家看望看望。”
[27:30.06] 皇上说:“黄仙师,你这卦算得太灵了,朕当有意封你在朝为官,陪伴君王,与我共享荣华富贵,你意如何?”
[27:48.01] 老黄心说:我还跟你在这儿?好家伙,得亏我说了个大清早,不然我这脑袋搬家啦!
[27:58.60] “启奏我主万岁,草民乃是山野村夫,怎能陪伴君王??”
[28:05.11] 皇上想:“你这是不愿意保我啊,看不起我,你不保我也没关系,你这么大能耐,你要保了别人我这江山就完啦!!”一咬下嘴唇,狠劲来了,翻脸无情!“来啊!”叫过大总管崔英,附耳上来。崔英过来了,皇上就在崔英耳朵这一嘀咕。说什么?让崔英去到后宫,拿一个捧盒,把正宫娘娘那儿有一个宝蟾给要来,装到盒儿里头。什么宝蟾呢?就是一个生金雕刻的三条腿的金蟾,錾金雕刻,那个眼睛呢是两块宝石,上头镶着很多的翠。
[29:03.76] 这么一个东西,拿捧盒捧来,崔英去了。老黄也不知道什么事儿,一会儿工夫,就见崔英呢,俩手托着这么一捧盒进来了,站在皇上旁边了。
[29:17.56] 皇上用手一指:“黄仙师,你算的卦不是灵吗?来来来,你算算,朕盒中之物,这个捧盒里头,什么物件?你算一算,如果你算灵了,算对了,封你在朝为官,如果你算不对,欺君之罪,午门外开刀问斩!算吧!”
[29:48.02] 老黄心说:“这怎么算哪?我那回那个大清早蒙着了,这回我怎么算哪?算不对就开刀问斩!”
[29:58.46] 实在没法儿算,憋了半天,瞧了这盒一眼,一跺脚一咬牙,叫着自己的小名:“黄蛤蟆!你就死在这盒里头了!!!”
[30:14.58] 皇上一听:“嗯~~???他又算对了! !!!!”

Pinyin

[00:01.16] shuō tā zhè guà zěn me líng de ya? zěn me líng de, lǎo huáng tā yǒu gè zuó mo jìn r, tā xīn lǐ xiǎng zhe: tā shì yí gè ér xí fù, zhè gè ér xí fù ne, měi tiān de dǎ shuǐ tiāo shuǐ, dé zuò cài zuò fàn, tiāo shuǐ zuò cài zuò fàn ne, chú le guō tái páng biān, jiù shì wéi zhe shuǐ gāng zhuǎn. jié guǒ ne tā jiù shuō zhè liǎ dì fāng. , dào guō tái páng biān r zhēn gěi zhǎo zháo le. hē! dǎ zhè yī lái ya, gèng rāng rng dòng le. zhè yī rāng rng dòng a, yǒu yì tiān, lǐ èr sǎo shàng zhè ér lái le. lǐ èr gē zǒu le sā duō yuè, yīn xùn jiē wú, méi lái xìn. èr sǎo lái le:
[00:45.09] " huáng dà gē, nín kàn wǒ men nà kǒu zi zǒu le sā duō yuè le, yě méi lái xìn, wǒ guài bù fàng xīn de, nín shuō tā dé duō zá hé shí huí lái ya?"
[00:54.39] " a, suàn guà ya!"
[00:59.29] " a!"
[01:00.67] " , hǎo"
[01:06.03] zhuāng zhe qiā shǒu zhí tou, tā xiān bù gěi suàn, gēn lǐ èr sǎo shuō huà.
[01:12.10] " hēi, dì mèi, nǐ yě zhēn shi de, yǒu shén me shì ér nǐ dǎ fā bié rén zhǎo wǒ hái bù xíng ma? gàn má fēi děi zì jǐ lái ya! nǐ kàn nǐ tǐng zhòng de shēn zi, zěn me hái chū mén ya!"
[01:24.80] " ō, bú yào jǐn de, wǒ gāng jiǔ gè yuè."
[01:29.15] " ō , suàn chū lái le! nǐ nán rén a, zhè gè yuè bù huí lái, yě bù lái xìn le, xià yuè zhǔn huí lái, qù ba."
[01:42.45] hē, xià yuè hái zhǔn huí lái! jié guǒ zěn me zhāo? dào xià yuè hái zhēn huí lái le, yě zhēn méi lái xìn. yòu líng le! zhè huí tā zěn me líng de ne?
[01:56.36] zěn me líng de? lǎo huáng tā yǒu gè zuó mo jìn r. tā yī tīng shuō huái tāi jiǔ gè yuè le, āi, tā xiǎng zhè gè dào lǐ, zhè gè nǚ rén huái yùn nǎ, tā nán rén xīn li yǒu shù, tā zhī dào! sā yuè bù lái xìn, nà jiù shì jìng děng zhe dào shí hòu huí lái cì hou yuè zǐ rén nǎ! āi, dào xià yuè hái zhēn huí lái le. dǎ zhè ér kě jiù liǎo bù dé le, jiù gěi rāng rng dòng le. bù dān rāng rng tā néng qiā huì suàn, bìng qiě gěi tā qǐ le míng, jiào" huáng bàn xiān". yī chuán shí, shí chuán bǎi, bǎi chuán qiān, qiān chuán wàn, cūn chuán zhèn, zhèn chuán xiàn. chuán lái chuán qù, jiù chuán dào běi jīng le.
[02:43.97] dào le běi jīng a, hēi! gāi zháo lǎo huáng fà cái. zěn me gāi zháo tā fā cái a? běi jīng huáng gōng nèi yuàn diū le dōng xī la! diū shén me la! dào guāng huáng shàng diū le yī kē yè míng zhū! néng bì wén yíng, yī dà kē yè míng zhū. zhè yè míng zhū zhè me yī diū a, dào guāng huáng shàng kě jí le. mǎ shàng jiù bǎ jiǔ mén tí dū xuān shàng diàn lái, dà dà dì shēn chì le yī dùn. jiǔ mén tí dū shì guǎn zhì ān de, dào fěi a, yǒu shén me wèn tí dōu dé zhǎo tā. bǎ jiǔ mén tí dū shēn chì yī dùn, xiàn sān tiān xiàn, zhǎo huí yè míng zhū hái zé bà le, zhǎo bù huí lái yè míng zhū, jiàng jí fá fèng!
[03:30.35] sān tiān? wǔ tiān yě zhǎo bù huí lái ya! zěn me huí shì qíng? tōu yè míng zhū zhè zhǔ ér bù hǎo dǎi ya! shuí ya? gōng lǐ tou de tài jiàn dà zǒng guǎn cuī yīng jiān shǒu zì dào, nín shuō zhè wán yì nǎ ér zhǎo qù? jiǔ mén tí dū zài gōng wài tou zhǎo, dāng rán shì zhǎo bu dào la!
[03:53.21] sān tiān zhǎo bu zháo, shàng jīn diàn, zěn me zhāo? jiàng jí fá fèng. zài děng wǔ tiān zhǎo bu zháo, shàng jīn diàn, jiàng jí fá fèng. jiǎn duàn jié shuō, yí gè bàn yuè méi zhǎo zháo, huài le! yí gè bàn yuè méi zhǎo zháo, zhè jiǔ mén tí dū jiàng jí jiàng dé dōu pǎo dào yù mǎ juàn liù mǎ qù le! méi zhǔ yì a!
[04:18.29] zhè tiān dào guāng huáng shàng nǎo le, zài jīn diàn shàng dà fā léi tíng:" yǎng bīng qiān rì, yòng bīng yī shí, wǒ zhè gè yè míng zhū diū le yī yuè yǒu yú, nǐ men wén wǔ bǎi guān ruò wú qí shì, shì zěn me huí shì ya? nǐ men shì xiǎng zhe, quán liù mǎ qù a?"
[04:41.04] dà huǒ yī tīng dōu hài pà le: hū lā! guì xià yī dà piàn, yǒu yī wèi shì láng nà róng, wǎng qián guì pā bàn bù:
[04:50.91] " qǐ zòu wǒ zhǔ wàn suì, nú cái wén tīng rén yán, zài qián mén wài xī hé yán, yǒu yí gè suàn guà de jiào zhū gě zhōu, zhè gè rén suàn guà líng, rú guǒ yào bǎ tā zhǎo lái, zhàn suàn yè míng zhū de xià luò, dìng zhī fēn xiǎo!"
[05:09.94] huáng shàng yī tīng:" lái ya!" jiù jiào dà zǒng guǎn tài jiàn cuī yīng," qù! zhǎo qù!"
[05:17.45] zhè cuī yīng zhè me yī tīng, bí zǐ dōu gěi qì wāi le. zěn me? yè míng zhū shì tā jiān shǒu zì dào. hēi, xīn shuō: shì láng zhè lǎo nà róng, nǐ hǎo hǎo guì zhe nǐ de dé le, nǐ chū zhè zhǔ yì gàn má ya?" qí shù rú shén", líng! líng dào zhè ér yī suàn, suàn chū lái wǒ tōu de, wǒ zěn me bàn nǎ? kě shì huáng shàng chuán zhǐ, tā yòu bù néng bù zhǎo, méi bàn fǎ, qí zhe mǎ zhǎo qù ba! dài zhe cóng rén zhǎo qù le. dào le xī hé yán yī dǎ tīng, dì liù ge mén, lù běi de nà mén, lái dào gēn qián yī kàn, hǎo! mén kǒu yǒu sān kē bái shā gāo, bǎng zhe yáng liǔ zhī ér, tiē zhe bái tiáo xiě zhe" shù bào bù zhōu". yī wèn nǎ, hēi, zhū gě zhōu sǐ le! hēi, cuī yīng zhè gè gāo xìng a! xíng la, gào sù huáng shàng. huáng shàng yī tīng:
[06:09.63] " sǐ le, zài zhǎo bié rén, zhǎo bié de suàn guà de, líng de jiù xíng!"
[06:13.76] " zhē."
[06:14.29] zài zhǎo ba! yòu dào le zhè gè dǎ mó chǎng lǐ tou, yī kàn nǎ, mén kǒu guà zhe pái:" liú tiě zuǐ".
[06:25.35] cuī yīng xià mǎ jìn lái le.
[06:29.92] " nǐ huì suàn guà ya?"
[06:32.92] liú tiě zuǐ yī qiáo, huò, yī kàn pài tou er
[06:36.89] " a, wǒ huì suàn guà."
[06:40.85] " líng bù líng a?"
[06:45.49] " nín kàn wǒ zhè gè míng zì zhè bú shì tiē zhe nǎ ma?' liú tiě zuǐ', yīn wèi wǒ shì zhè gè' tiě zuǐ gāng yá', wǒ de guà shì guà guà líng!"
[06:56.85] " , zhēn líng ma?"
[07:00.67] " a, zhēn líng!"
[07:02.67] " a nà huí jiàn ba!"
[07:06.70] suàn guà de yī qiáo, zhè wèi dà bái tiān de sā yì zhèng nǎ shì zěn me de? gào sù nǐ zhēn líng la, tā" huí jiàn" la, zhè shén me máo bìng a zhè shì, dào zǒu le!
[07:17.80] nǎ ér zhī dào cuī yīng bù gǎn zhǎo, zhēn líng, nǐ líng le, wǒ nǎo dài bān jiā la.
[07:22.67] bù xíng, zài zhǎo bié rén. yòu zhǎo le yí gè, qián mén dà jiē yǒu gè" kǒng míng lǐ" mìng guǎn, dào nà ér yī wèn nǎ, yě shì líng!" huí jiàn ba!" tā yòu chū lái le.
[07:34.16] tā yī zuó mo: zhè bù xíng! líng a, zěn me bàn ne? ō, duì le, bié zhǎo mìng guǎn, tiān qiáo zhǎo guà tān r qù. duì! zhǎo guà tān r dào guà tān r yī wèn:
[07:45.40] " nǐ zhè guà líng bù líng a?"
[07:47.25] tā yě shuō líng. shì guà tān dōu dé shuō líng. bù líng? shuō bù líng shuí hái suàn nǎ, tā chī shén me ya? wèn le jǐ gè guà tān r, dōu shuō líng, zhǎo wa, hē, kě zhe běi jīng chéng zhǎo le sān tiān, běi jīng chéng de guà tān r dōu zhǎo biàn le, lián yí gè bù líng de dōu méi zhǎo zháo! zhè zěn me bàn ne? dì sì tiān tou er shàng, xīn lǐ yī fán, dài zhe cóng rén: chéng lǐ tou zhǎo biàn le, chéng wài tou zhǎo qù, duì! qí zhe mǎ, xìn mǎ yóu jiāng chū chéng le. zǒu le jǐ shí lǐ dì, tiān r yě rè, lèi dé huāng a, yī kàn yǒu gè cūn zi.
[08:23.96] " lái lái lái, xiū xī xiū xī!"
[08:25.61] xià le mǎ le, shù dǐ xià yǒu gè xiǎo hái ér, jiù wèn le:
[08:29.09] " āi, nǐ men zhè ér yǒu suàn guà de méi yǒu?"
[08:33.03] " āi, yǒu, jiù zhè gè mén ér!"
[08:35.99] āi, jiù shì huáng bàn xiān nà mén lǐ tou, zhè me yī zhǐ.
[08:40.72] " ō, hǎo!" wǎng lǐ jiù zǒu.
[08:43.36] zhè tiān lǎo huáng zài jiā ne, zài jiā gàn má? zhèng zài na r fā chóu nǎ. fā shén me chóu a? tā xí fù yòu tuǐ téng le, yòu yào xià yǔ. yī huì ér a, tā hái dé wǎng wū lǐ shí chái huō, nuó dōng xī, má fán! zhèng zhè ér fán zhe nǎ, zhè me gè gōng fū, āi, tài jiàn dà zǒng guǎn cuī yīng jìn lái le.
[09:06.10] " nǐ huì suàn guà ya?"
[09:08.34] lǎo huáng yī tīng:
[09:09.32] " a wǒ wǒ huì"
[09:15.50] " líng bù líng a?"
[09:17.49] zhè yī shuō líng bù líng, hái tǐng dà de shēng ér. lǎo huáng yī qiáo tā zhè pài tou er, xīn shuō: wǒ zhè guà, nǎ ér líng qù ya? gān cuì, shuō shí huà ba!
[09:26.48] " wǒ zhè guà bù líng."
[09:31.69] " ? hēi! zhǎo le bàn tiān, gǎn qíng zài zhè ér nǎ! hǎo hǎo hǎo, āi yā, bù líng? zhēn bù líng ma?"
[09:43.72] " āi zhēn bù líng!"
[09:45.97] " hē, xíng le, xíng le, gǎn jǐn dì gēn wǒ zǒu!"
[09:49.48] " gēn nín shàng nǎ ér ya?"
[09:50.89] " jìn běi jīng, huáng shàng yè míng zhū diū le, nǐ gěi suàn guà qù!"
[09:56.52] lǎo huáng yī tīng: zěn me? nà nǎ xíng a! gǎn jǐn shuō:
[09:58.95] " zhè wèi lǎo yé nín méi tīng míng bái, wǒ suàn de guà ya, tā bù líng!"
[10:05.37] " fèi huà, líng le hái bù zhǎo nǐ nǎ! zǒu zǒu zǒu!"
[10:11.60] " bú shì bù líng!"
[10:13.12] " bù líng yě méi guān xì, zá jiā gào sù nǐ, jí biàn bù líng, yǒu zá jiā zài páng biān r gěi nǐ duō shuō liǎng jù hǎo huà, gěi liǎ qián ér hōng chū lái le, yǒu shén me guān xì a? rú guǒ nǐ yào bù qù de huà, xiàn zài jiù shì kàng zhǐ bù zūn, wǔ mén wài kāi dāo wèn zhǎn!"
[10:30.13] " āi, bié jià!"
[10:33.08] yī xiǎng zhè wán yì ér: bù qù dāng shí jiù sǐ a, yào qù le tā bù líng, hái xǔ gěi liǎ qián ér, hōng chū lái
[10:41.49] " , wǒ wǒ qù xíng ma?"
[10:44.18] " bié fèi huà! bù xíng jiù shì kàng zhǐ bù zūn, kuài zǒu!" sǐ qǐ bái lài ràng kuài zǒu.
[10:51.23] " āi wǒ kuài zǒu, kuài zǒu zhè gè nǐ hǎo hǎo zài jiā lǐ tou kān jiā ba."
[10:59.67] " yō, nǐ qiáo qiáo zhè zhè shì dǎo méi le ma zhè bú shì, a? wǒ zhè tuǐ hái téng, nǐ kàn, nǐ xiàn zài jiù zǒu?
[11:08.02] " a, nà yě méi fǎ zǐ, bù zǒu? kàng zhǐ bù zūn nǎ, nǐ xiàn zài tuǐ hái téng, ō, duì le, wǒ ná zhe suō yī!"
[11:15.73] hài, cuī yīng yī qiáo:
[11:17.85] " tǐng hǎo de tiān r, nǐ ná nà gàn má ya?"
[11:20.25] " ? bú shì, nín béng guǎn le, yòng de shàng, jīn ér yǒu yǔ!"
[11:26.35] tā shì xiǎng, tā xí fù tuǐ téng nà, jīn ér jiù yǒu yǔ. cuī yīng nǎ, yě méi zhù zhè gè yì.
[11:32.82] " a, zǒu ba!"
[11:34.17] bǎ tā dài dào běi jīng, jiù bǎ tā ān pái dào guǎn yì lǐ tou. dào guǎn yì lǐ tou, lǎo huáng a, chī yě chī bù xià qù, shuì yě shuì bù zháo, xīn lǐ fán nǎ!
[11:47.05] " zhè wán yì ér, zěn me suàn nǎ?"
[11:48.33] dào bàn yè lǐ tou, hǎo, huā piáo pō dà yǔ xià qǐ lái le. lǎo huáng yī xiǎng: dǎo méi, yǔ shì xià le, béng wèn nǎ, wǒ lǎo pó zài jiā zhèng nà ér tuǐ téng nǎ, āi, wǒ ràng dà guān ér huán gěi zhuā lái le. jiù zhè wèi lǎo yé, zhēn yào mìng, wǒ shuō bù líng a, fēi ràng wǒ lái bù kě tā shuō le, gěi liǎ qián ér hōng chū qù, nǎ ér nà me pián yí de shì ya? gěi huáng shàng suàn guà, wǒ zěn me suàn a? , diū yè míng zhū, wǒ gěi zhǎo yè míng zhū, wǒ nǎ ér qù zhǎo wa? , nǐ yào suàn gè yīn tiān xià yǔ, wǒ hái néng gěi suàn suàn ne nà yě bù hǎo suàn nǎ! hái dé bǎ wǒ xí fù jiē lái zhè wán yì ér zhǎo yè míng zhū, wǒ zěn me gěi suàn nǎ? wǒ míng ér gěi huáng shàng suàn, wǒ ràng tā nǎ ér zhǎo qù ya? guō tái páng biān? shuǐ gāng hòu tou? nà huáng gōng lǐ tou yǒu shuǐ gāng ma? zhè wán yì ér yào mìng ma zhè bú shì!
[12:58.59] xīn lǐ tou fán nǎ, kě yòu hèn, hèn shuí a? hèn tōu zhū zi zhè zéi, tā xīn lǐ hèn nǎ, zuò nà ér zháo jí, zuǐ lǐ tou kě jiù dāo niàn chū lái le:
[13:14.09] " zhè zéi yě bú duì ya, , nǐ tōu shuí tōu bù liǎo a, nǐ zěn me dān tōu huáng shàng a? rú guǒ yào zhī dào shì nǐ tōu de, nǐ huó dé le ma? zhè wèi lǎo yé yě bú duì ya, wǒ shuō wǒ de guà bù líng, wǒ bù lái jiù wán la, nǐ hái sǐ qǐ bái lài dì hái cuī wǒ lái, cuī, cuī, wǒ lái le, nǐ huó dé le ma?"
[13:44.78] tā nà yì sī shì nǐ bǎ wǒ cuī lái le, wǒ lái le, wǒ lái le wǒ yào suàn de bù líng, nǐ huó dé le ma? wǒ yào suàn de bù líng, nǐ yě huó bù liǎo. tā xīn lǐ shì zhè yì sī, zhǐ zhe wài tou:
[13:55.09] " wǒ yào bù lái, nǐ huó dé le ma?"
[13:57.95] dé, zhè jù huà, gé qiáng yǒu ěr, yǒu rén tīng jiàn le. shuí ya? dà zǒng guǎn cuī yīng. tā gàn má lái le? āi, tā bǎ lǎo huáng ān pái dào guǎn yì ya, tā huí fǔ le, bǎi shàng fàn, chī fàn hē jiǔ, xīn lǐ gāo xìng: āi, xíng le, míng ér gè gěi huáng shàng yī suàn guà, suàn bù chū lái, bǎ tā shā le, méi wǒ de shì. hēi, zhè zhū zi ya, wǒ ya zhè bèi zi yě fàn bù liǎo àn le! āi, xíng, kàn nà mú yàng, jiù bù xiàng yǒu néng nài de xiāng ér, yǒu néng nài de néng nà mú yàng ma? gāo xìng!
[14:44.02] hēi, zhèng zhè ér gāo xìng zhe nǎ, huā wài tou xià qǐ yǔ lái le, zhè yī xià yǔ, tā xīn lǐ yī jī líng.
[14:51.94] ? bú duì, tā suàn de guà bù líng? bù líng tā pī suō yī gàn má ya? tā zěn me gào sù jīn ér yǒu yǔ a? āi yā, bié shì" zhēn rén bù lòu xiàng, lòu xiàng bù zhēn rén" ba? shuō bù líng, míng ér dào jīn luán bǎo diàn líng le, tōu zhū zi de jiù shì tā! dé, wǒ wán le! āi, zhè kě shòu bù liǎo, bù wǒ dé tīng tīng xiāo xī qù!
[15:25.65] zhè yàng tā lái le, lái dào zhè ér yě bù xǔ rén tōng bǐng, zì jǐ ne jiù lái dào zhè gè huáng bàn xiān de fáng zi wài tou, zhàn zài wū mén zhè ér, gāng wǎng nà ér yī zhàn, zhèng tīng lǐ biān shuō. tā lái de zhè shí hòu, tóu liǎng jù shuō guò qù le, tā wǎng mén kǒu yī zhàn, lǐ tou zhèng shuō zhè jù nǎ:
[15:45.83] " cuī, cuī! wǒ lái le, nǐ huó de le ma?"
[15:52.75] tā hái zhǐ zhe wài tou. cuī yīng yī tīng: a?" cuī, cuī, wǒ lái le", tā lái le" nǐ huó dé le ma"? wǒ wǒ shì huó bù liǎo a! zhè wán yì ér tā suàn chū lái shì wǒ la! āi yā, tā zhè gè
[16:10.39] nǐ dǎo shì zài tīng tīng a, yě méi wǎng xià tīng, yī hài pà, yī tuī mén jìn lái, gū dē ér jiù gěi guì xià la:
[16:16.58] " āi zhè gè bàn xiān ráo mìng, bàn xiān ráo mìng!'"
[16:22.31] tā wǎng nà yī guì, xiān jìn lái, lǎo huáng xià yī tiào, yī kàn dà zǒng guǎn guì zài zhè ér la, bù zhī dào zěn me huí shì, yī tīng" bàn xiān ráo mìng, bàn xiān ráo mìng", lǎo huáng tā néng gòu chá yán guān sè, yī kàn zhè dà zǒng guǎn hún shēn zhí duō suo, yě bù zhī dào zěn me huí shì, tā néng gòu chén de zhù qì:
[16:43.59] " āi, béng hài pà, béng hài pà, qǐ lái shuō, qǐ lái shuō, shén me shì a, nǐ?"
[16:52.04] " a āi yō, bàn xiān ráo mìng, nín zhè guà suàn de zhēn líng, nín lái le, wǒ wǒ shì huó bù liǎo la, wǒ zhī dào nín suàn de duì, zhè zhū zi bù cuò shì wǒ tōu de, shì wǒ tōu de, nín jiù jiù mìng ba."
[17:08.12] lǎo huáng yī tīng: ō! zhè me huí shì ya! lǎo huáng yě zhēn néng zhuāng mú zuò yàng, chén de zhù qì:
[17:16.40] " hēi āi yā, shì nǐ tōu de! hēng, zǎo jiù suàn chū shì nǐ tōu de la! bù dàn suàn chū zhū zi shì nǐ tōu de, hēng, ér qiě wǒ hái suàn chū lái, nǐ bǎ zhū zi cáng zài shén me dì fang le."
[17:38.63] ná huà zhà, cuī yīng yī tīng a, yō, dōu suàn chū xīn lǐ yě èr lèng, néng suàn chū lái? nà wǒ ràng tā shuō shuō.
[17:50.15] " a, shì bàn xiān, nín suàn chū lái le, nà me nín suàn chū wǒ nà zhū zi, nín shuō wǒ cáng zài nǎ ér la?"
[17:57.63] zhè yào shì gē bié rén, yī wèn zhè jù, zhǔn dé wèn pā xià, lǎo huáng a, néng shuō huì dào, lǎo huáng yī tīng:
[18:04.45] " , hēng hēng, suàn chū lái le. wǒ shuō nǐ zhè zhū zi cáng nǎ ér la, wǒ shuō? wǒ shuō shì shuō, xiàn zài bù shuō, míng ér gè jiàn huáng shàng yí kuài ér shuō!"
[18:20.94] " āi bié jià! nín zěn me bù zài zhè ér shuō ya?"
[18:26.58] " ? wǒ zài zhè ér wǒ gēn nǐ shuō shí mǒ ya, wǒ shuō' wǒ suàn chū lái le, wǒ zhī dào nǐ cáng zài nǎ ér la'? wǒ bù shuō, ràng nǐ zì jǐ shuō, wǒ kàn kàn nǐ gǎn gēn wǒ shuō xiā huà bù gǎn."
[18:37.72] hēi! zhè me yī tīng.
[18:41.00] " āi yā bàn xiān ráo mìng nín nǎ, wǒ bù gǎn shuō xiā huà, wǒ nà zhū zi, wǒ jiù mái zài nà gè yù huā yuán de bā jiāo shù dǐ xià la!"
[18:50.56] " a, zhè hái bà le. wǒ suàn zhe yě shì zài na r mái zhe ma!"
[18:55.16] tā yě bù zhī duō zá suàn lái de?!
[18:59.57] " nǐ qǐ lái ba."
[19:00.96] " shì, bàn xiān, nín gàn má bàn xiān nǎ, jiǎn zhí nín jiù shì huó shén xiān la, nín suàn de zhēn duì, míng ér gè qiú nín jiàn huáng shàng de shí hòu, bié shuō shì wǒ tōu de, wǒ sòng nín wǔ bǎi liǎng yín zi."
[19:17.15] lǎo huáng yī tīng, yī lěng xiào:" hā
[19:21.91] tā nà yì sī nǎ, hēi, zhè jiā huo bù dǎ zì zhāo le! tā shì zhè yàng, kě shì tā zhè yī lěng xiào a, cuī yīng bù zhī dào tā shén me shì ya, yǐ wéi tā xián shǎo ne.
[19:33.26] " a ō, wǔ bǎi bù xíng, wǒ gěi nín yī qiān."
[19:36.96] yòu jiā wǔ bǎi!
[19:39.46] " ō, hǎo le, hǎo le, nǐ qǐ lái ba. míng tiān wǒ gěi huáng shàng suàn guà de shí hòu ya, wǒ tì nǐ mán zhe diǎn ér jiù shì le."
[19:46.81] suàn shén me a? guà hái méi suàn ne, xiān shōu yī qiān liǎng yín zi de guà lǐ le, tā dào nào zhe le. xíng la!
[19:54.38] dào le dì èr tiān, cuī yīng yǐn jiàn tā shàng cháo jiàn huáng shàng, jiàn wán huáng shàng, huáng shàng hái hěn gāo xìng, píng shēn cì zuò, ràng tā qiā suàn yè míng zhū de xià luò, lǎo huáng zěn me suàn nǎ? dāng rán cuī yīng dōu shuō le, nà yě de zhuāng mú zuò yàng de lái lái ya! xīn lǐ xiǎng: dé qiā qiā jué, niàn niàn zhòu. , qiā jué xué shǒu shì, niàn zhòu zěn me niàn nǎ? yě bú huì niàn zhòu a, xiǎng qǐ shén me niàn shén me:" yī èr sān, èr èr sān, qī bā jiǔ shí niàn zhēn yán"
[20:33.99] wén wǔ bǎi guān yī tīng, zěn me zhāo? yào biàn xì fǎ ya! zhè shì shén me zhòu a?
[20:41.09] " àn zhào guà zhōng lái pàn duàn, yè míng zhū xiàn zài yù huā yuán." huáng shàng yī tīng:" lái, bǎi jià yù huā yuán!"
[20:51.31] bǎi jià yù huā yuán la. dào yù huā yuán lǐ tou, huáng shàng shuō le:" āi, huáng xiān shī, guǎ rén ruò dà yù huā yuán, yè míng zhū jiū jìng zài hé chǔ a?"
[21:02.54] " a, wǒ zài gěi nín zhàn suàn zhàn suàn." xué qiā jué shǒu shì, niàn zhòu
[21:07.30] " bàn xiān běn xìng huáng, jīn rì jiàn jūn wáng, yè míng zhū zài hé chǔ? a zhè bā jiāo shù xià cáng!"
[21:20.41] tā zhēn néng zhuāng mú zuò yàng de! huáng shàng yī tīng:
[21:23.15] " hǎo, páo!"
[21:25.21] qiāo gǎo qí xià.
[21:26.57] " āi, qīng zhe diǎn ér, bú yào shāng le guó bǎo!"
[21:31.11] hē, zhuāng mú zuò yàng de. méi páo liǎng xià, běn lái cuī yīng bǎ zhè zhū zi mái de yě bù shēn, páo chū lái le, yóu tài jiàn cā gān jìng le, dì gěi huáng shàng la, huáng shàng yī qiáo, tài gāo xìng le.
[21:44.35] " āi yā, huáng bàn xiān, zhēn shì huáng xiān shī, zhè guà shí zài shì líng. āi, huáng xiān shī, nǐ suàn yī suàn guǎ rén de yè míng zhū jiū jìng bèi hé rén suǒ dào? hé rén suǒ mái?"
[22:00.12] shuí tōu de, shuí mái de zhè shì?
[22:02.43] lǎo huáng a, méi fáng bèi wèn zhè jù a, chōu lěng zǐ yī wèn, yī yáng tóu, qiáo le cuī yīng yī yǎn. cuī yīng a, xīn chà diǎn ér dǎ sǎng zi yǎn r lǐ bèng chū lái, bù zhī dào tā yào shuō shí mǒ ya? wǎng xià yī tīng hái hǎo.
[22:20.56] " a a wàn suì, yè míng zhū nǎi shì wú jià zhī bǎo, nǎi shì qí zhēn yì bǎo, rì jiǔ nián shēn, shòu le rì jīng yuè huá, zhè shì tā zì jǐ liū dá lái la!"
[22:41.89] huáng shàng yī tīng:" , yán zhī yǒu lǐ!"
[22:45.90] nín qiáo zhè fèn ér hūn jūn jìn r, tā hái dāng yán zhī yǒu lǐ ne! nà yè míng zhū zì jǐ huì liū dá guò qù?!
[22:53.51] huí dào jīn luán bǎo diàn.
[22:54.72] " huáng xiān shī, suàn de zhēn líng, lái ya, shǎng gěi huáng xiān shī liǎng dié sà qí mǎ!" nà me yī kē dà bǎo zhū zhǎo zháo le, jiù gěi liǎng kuài sà qí mǎ, nín jiù zhī dào tā zhè rén xiǎo qì bù xiǎo qì la!
[23:07.81] huáng shàng xīn xiǎng bù néng ràng tā zǒu, wǒ zài shì yàn shì yàn tā, rú guǒ tā měi yī guà dōu suàn de zhè me líng, nà jiù fēng tā zài cháo wèi guān. fēng tā zài cháo wèi guān yú wǒ yǒu hǎo chù a! shuí zài zuò le shén me shì yě mán bù liǎo wǒ la! tā jiù gěi wǒ suàn chū lái le! āi, zhè yàng ér jiù bù ràng tā zǒu.
[23:26.99] kě shì lǎo huáng xīn lǐ kě fán le, lǎo huáng xīn lǐ zuó mo zhe: zhè bú shì méi yǐng r de shì qíng ma? bǎ wǒ liú xià lái, wǒ wǒ zài zhè ér gàn má ya? bàn jūn rú bàn hǔ a! zhēn yào mìng, wǒ zhī dào tā nǎ shí hòu yǒu shén me shì ya!
[23:45.26] xīn lǐ tou tǐng fán, xīn lǐ zuó mo zhe: míng ér gè wǒ dé xiǎng zhǔ yì gēn tā shuō: wǒ huí jiā. duì! xiǎng gè chōu shēn zhī jì. gǎn dào le dì èr tiān zǎo cháo, cuī yīng lǐng zhe huáng bàn xiān shàng cháo, zòu shì chù tài jiàn nà ér hǎn
[24:02.37] " shèng shàng chuán zhǐ, xuān huáng bàn xiān suí zhǐ jìn diàn!"
[24:06.24] tóu yí gè jiù xuǎn tā, gàn má ya?
[24:10.07] gàn má? huáng shàng zhè yè míng zhū zhǎo zháo le, gāo xìng, yī xiǔ dōu méi shuì jiào, tǐng lǎo zǎo de dǎ hòu gōng jiù lái zuò diàn. wǎng qián zǒu, zǒu dào yù huā yuán zhè ér ā, āi! zhèng zǒu dào yī kē zǎo shù dǐ xià, zhè kē zǎo shù a, shì míng dài shí hòu sān bǎo tài jiàn xià xī yáng yí zhí guò lái de, zhè zhǒng zǎo jiào" zhū zǎo", dī liū yuán, nà me dà gè ér bǐ huà, tòng hóng, kě shì de shú le hóng. xiàn zài ne hái shēng zhe nǎ, zhàn qīng bì lǜ zhè me yí gè zǎo zǐ, huáng shàng qiáo zhe hǎo kàn, shùn shǒu jiù gěi zhāi xià lái le, yī zuó mo: āi, yǒu le, wǒ ràng huáng bàn xiān suàn suàn wǒ zhè shǒu lǐ shì shén me? rú guǒ zài suàn duì le, tā zhè guà zhēn líng, nà jiù shì líng, wǒ fēng tā zài cháo wèi guān, duì!
[25:10.08] zhè yàng ne, xuān huáng bàn xiān suí zhǐ jìn diàn. huáng bàn xiān wǎng zhè ér yī guì, yīng gāi píng shēn cì zuò. gāng yī ràng tā píng shēn, zhè huí méi cì zuò.
[25:20.68] " píng shēn."
[25:21.97] huáng bàn xiān zhàn qǐ lái le, huáng shàng yī zuàn zhè quán tou, yī jǔ:
[25:26.97] " huáng xiān shī, nǐ de guà suàn de líng, lái lái lái, nǐ suàn suàn zhèn de shǒu zhōng hé wù!"
[25:35.27] lǎo huáng yī xiǎng: āi yā, zhè zěn me suàn ya? zhè gè dāng rán tā hài pà ya, xīn lǐ hài pà, liǎn shàng gǎn jǐn dì, zhuāng mú zuò yàng bù dài xiāng ér. xīn lǐ zhè ér xiǎng zhǔ yì, tā yòu zuó mo le, zuó mo shén me? xīn lǐ xiǎng: tā shǒu lǐ dào dǐ shì shén me? ō zhè quán tou jiù zuàn zhè me dà, míng bái le, yí dìng shì tā nà kē xīn ài de yè míng zhū, duì bú duì? zhè zhū zi zhǎo dào le, pà zài diū le, zhū bù lí shǒu, shǒu bù lí zhū, zǎo chén qǐ lái jiù bǎ zhè gè ná chū lái le, nà béng wèn, yè míng zhū, duì.
[26:22.76] kě shì tā yào shuō yè míng zhū, dāng shí jiù shā, qī jūn zhī zuì, suàn bú duì la! tā zhè shuō de hǎo:
[26:33.35] " wàn suì"
[26:34.20] tā yào shuō zhè me jù huà," dà qīng zǎo nín jiù ná nín zhè xīn ài de yè míng zhū lái wán shǎng a", tā shì zhè me jù huà, tā gāng shuō le bàn jù.
[26:47.08] " wàn suì, dà qīng zǎo nín jiù"
[26:49.68] huáng shàng shuō:
[26:50.36] " āi, duì, shì dà qīng zǎo"
[26:53.32] hēi! tā zhè me líng de tā!
[27:01.16] huáng shàng yī zhāng shǒu, lǎo huáng yī qiáo, xià dé xiǎo biàn ér dōu lì qǐ lái le: hē, hǎo jiā huo, lǎo yé zǐ, děi kuī wǒ shuō" dà qīng zǎo" a, wǒ yào shì shuō" dà zǎo chén" hái má fán le, zhè wán yì ér! yō!
[27:25.16] " qǐ zòu wǒ zhǔ wàn suì, cǎo mín wǒ yào huí jiā kàn wàng kàn wàng."
[27:30.06] huáng shàng shuō:" huáng xiān shī, nǐ zhè guà suàn de tài líng le, zhèn dāng yǒu yì fēng nǐ zài cháo wèi guān, péi bàn jūn wáng, yǔ wǒ gòng xiǎng róng huá fù guì, nǐ yì rú hé?"
[27:48.01] lǎo huáng xīn shuō: wǒ hái gēn nǐ zài zhè ér? hǎo jiā huo, děi kuī wǒ shuō le gè dà qīng zǎo, bù rán wǒ zhè nǎo dài bān jiā la!
[27:58.60] " qǐ zòu wǒ zhǔ wàn suì, cǎo mín nǎi shì shān yě cūn fū, zěn néng péi bàn jūn wáng??"
[28:05.11] huáng shàng xiǎng:" nǐ zhè shì bù yuàn yì bǎo wǒ a, kàn bù qǐ wǒ, nǐ bù bǎo wǒ yě méi guān xì, nǐ zhè me dà néng nài, nǐ yào bǎo le bié rén wǒ zhè jiāng shān jiù wán la!!" yī yǎo xià zuǐ chún, hěn jìn lái le, fān liǎn wú qíng!" lái a!" jiào guò dà zǒng guǎn cuī yīng, fù ěr shàng lái. cuī yīng guò lái le, huáng shàng jiù zài cuī yīng ěr duǒ zhè yī dí gū. shuō shí mǒ? ràng cuī yīng qù dào hòu gōng, ná yí gè pěng hé, bǎ zhēng gōng niáng niáng nà ér yǒu yí gè bǎo chán gěi yào lái, zhuāng dào hé ér lǐ tou. shén me bǎo chán ne? jiù shì yí gè shēng jīn diāo kè de sān tiáo tuǐ de jīn chán, zàn jīn diāo kè, nà gè yǎn jīng ne shì liǎng kuài bǎo shí, shàng tou xiāng zhe hěn duō de cuì.
[29:03.76] zhè me yí gè dōng xī, ná pěng hé pěng lái, cuī yīng qù le. lǎo huáng yě bù zhī dào shén me shì ér, yī huì ér gōng fū, jiù jiàn cuī yīng ne, liǎ shǒu tuō zhe zhè me yī pěng hé jìn lái le, zhàn zài huáng shàng páng biān le.
[29:17.56] huáng shàng yòng shǒu yī zhǐ:" huáng xiān shī, nǐ suàn de guà bú shì líng ma? lái lái lái, nǐ suàn suàn, zhèn hé zhōng zhī wù, zhè gè pěng hé lǐ tou, shén me wù jiàn? nǐ suàn yī suàn, rú guǒ nǐ suàn líng le, suàn duì le, fēng nǐ zài cháo wèi guān, rú guǒ nǐ suàn bú duì, qī jūn zhī zuì, wǔ mén wài kāi dāo wèn zhǎn! suàn ba!"
[29:48.02] lǎo huáng xīn shuō:" zhè zěn me suàn nǎ? wǒ nà huí nà gè dà qīng zǎo méng zhe le, zhè huí wǒ zěn me suàn nǎ? suàn bú duì jiù kāi dāo wèn zhǎn!"
[29:58.46] shí zài méi fǎ ér suàn, biē le bàn tiān, qiáo le zhè hé yī yǎn, yī duò jiǎo yī yǎo yá, jiào zhe zì jǐ de xiǎo míng:" huáng há má! nǐ jiù sǐ zài zhè hé lǐ tou le!!!"
[30:14.58] huáng shàng yī tīng:" ??? tā yòu suàn duì le! !!!!"