Love Song of the Beta Male - Stornoway
Don't ask me to make you laugh until you cry

Because you know I'm on good form
If I can raise a smile

Don't ask me to sweep you up
And carry you across the threshold
Because you know
I'd only hurt myself if I were to try

I can tell you about the way
You make me feel inside
When I lie beside you in our bed at night
And I can listen to your troubles
And hold you tight
And tell you everything'll be alright

But don't ask me to spin you round
And dance with you

Because you know
I've two left feet and no guts with that

Don't ask me to rise to your political debate
I don't need reminding of my ignorance

I can tell you about the way
You make me feel inside
As I lie beside you in our bed at night
And I can listen to your troubles
And hold you tight
And tell you everything'll be alright

And it doesn't matter what I do or what I say
Because you're only gonna be yourself anyway
And I don't need to tell you anything anyway
To know that everything'll be alright

If you don't ask me to save you

From my mother when she stays too long

Don't ask me to buy you fancy lingerie

Well it's an awful lot of money
And I wouldn't know your size

Don't ask me to make you rich
Or even bring home the bacon
But I will cook it for you when I'm here
And when I'm out on the road
I'll write sentimental
Songs about the way you make me feel inside
As I lie beside you in our bed at night
And we can listen to the traffic
And I'll hold you tight
And tell you everything'll be alright

And it doesn't matter what I do or what I say
Because you're only gonna be yourself anyway
And I don't need to tell you anything anyway
To know that everything'll be alright
Don't ask me to spin you round
And dance with you
In our bed at night
And I can listen to
Don't ask me to walk 500 miles for you
Be alright

Don't ask me to sweep you up
And carry you across the threshold

Don't ask me to mend your broken car for you
Ahh