at a standstill between long-distance jealousy 
and unattended phrases omitted from speech, 
I can create illusions of self-sufficiency 
and convince myself of it when in reality, 
I'll let you in and make you feel at home. 
you'll never get me alone because I'm always alone, 
but you can call me anytime if you want to. 
we get comfortable with each other's mouths 
so when coffee starts to taste like bad blood, 
we'll switch to water 
though my cup is already shattered 
and can't contain what history books said 
I should "need," or "desire." 
I never knew what that was. 
I'm exhausting myself and you're falling asleep 
we can settle for uncomfort if you want to.