I have five rules. Memorize them.
Rule number one -- don't bother sucking up. I already hate you. That's not gonna change.
Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers -- nurses will page you.
You will answer every page at a run -- a run -- that's rule number two.
Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours.
You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain.
You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop, and don't complain.
On-call rooms -- attendings hog them.
Sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three.
If I'm sleeping, don't wake me unless your patient is actually dying.
Rule number four -- the dying patient better not be dead when I get there.
Not only will you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason. We clear?
Yes?
You said five rules. That was only four.
Rule number five -- when I move, you move.
Get out of my way!