[00:01.200] Okay, Ross, I-I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that,
[00:05.444] but.. Let me explain,okay?
[00:07.563] We weren't doing anything!
[00:10.685] Rach, he just saw us.
[00:11.728] Shhh.
[00:16.335] But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay?
[00:19.040] One kiss.
[00:19.770] No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
[00:21.815] (to Rachel): Dude, chill!
[00:25.781] (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it,okay?
[00:29.639] And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
[00:32.926] Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill.
[00:38.962] Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
[00:45.512] We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
[00:47.718] Yeah, but it did happen, so...
[00:53.627] (Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[00:57.966] Ross?
[01:07.713] Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
[01:52.393] Ross, say something. Anything.
[01:57.481] So you two are..?
[02:00.373] Yeah.
[02:03.023] And have you .. ed?
[02:05.227] No, no, no!-No, no, no!
[02:08.774] But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
[02:10.803] Probably.
[02:11.374] (Rachel looks at him.)
[02:11.824] No, no!
[02:15.782] Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this.
[02:18.200] You have every right to go nuts.
[02:20.338] I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
[02:22.879] No, but you know what I mean.
[02:24.586] Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you.
[02:36.325] (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
[02:39.669] Really?
[02:40.435] Absolutely.
[02:42.026] (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine!
[02:44.643] Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really,
[02:51.210] (deep voice) I'm fine.
[02:55.791] I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing.
[03:01.533] I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.)
[03:06.920] But now that I've had time to absorb it,lovin' this.
[03:16.262] Ross..
[03:16.754] It's all working out! Me and Charlie, and you two.
[03:23.008] You know what we should do?
[03:24.321] Calm ourselves?
[03:27.038] No. We should all have dinner.
[03:30.662] Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!
[03:34.534] Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
[03:36.673] Weird? What? What's weird?
[03:39.147] The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food,
[03:42.585] because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
[03:52.461] I do like fajitas.
[03:56.715] God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming.
[03:59.729] There's inter-country adoption,dependency adoption..
[04:03.599] There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
[04:07.454] There's a hair in my coffee.
[04:11.261] Hey guys!-Hey.
[04:12.765] Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
[04:16.034] You know, it's funny.
[04:16.557] Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds.
[04:20.799] (Monica glares at him.)
[04:22.161] That's sweet. Drink your hair.
[04:26.489] Hey, what's all this stuff?
[04:28.115] Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
[04:30.605] Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one!
[04:36.152] That's not really how it works.
[04:37.721] Oh, how does it work?
[04:38.656] I don't know!
[04:42.201] Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen.
[04:46.033] They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
[04:48.247] Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?
[04:51.700] (Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the
[04:52.195] hair in his coffee.)
[04:56.226] (Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)
[04:56.831] Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about.
[04:59.313] When we're in a public place, there are certain rules.
[05:01.864] (The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)
[05:03.266] That's not what we talked about!!
[05:06.705] Hey!-Hey.
[05:09.610] Good to see you.
[05:10.086] Good to see you, too.
[05:11.734] Hi Frank.
[05:12.156] Hi, how you doin'?
[05:14.348] Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big!
[05:17.510] Which one is which again?
[05:19.597] Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse.
[05:24.632] And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
[05:34.078] Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No!
[05:40.097] Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me,
[05:44.961] this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
[05:48.021] Well, what would we be doing?
[05:50.299] I'd take you out for a romantic night.
[05:53.579] Some champagne, fancy dinner,feel you up on the carriage ride home...
[05:58.762] Feel me up?
[06:00.175] In a carriage!
[06:04.461] Hey, Charlie!-Hey.
[06:06.980] Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this?
[06:10.266] Oh, you bet.
[06:12.564] (Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
[06:12.920] So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
[06:15.300] Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment.
[06:19.804] Oh. Oh, thanks.
[06:21.841] And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.
[06:25.375] Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
[06:29.472] (They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
[06:32.105] I thought I heard voices!
[06:35.417] Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.)
[06:37.515] Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.)
[06:47.012] I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.)
[06:52.538] Come, please come in. Come in.
[06:54.903] Okay, well, we brought you some wine.
[06:57.248] Oh! That is so thoughtful.
[07:01.102] (To Joey.) She's a keeper.
[07:04.387] And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[07:06.578] Uh, actually, that's..
[07:07.404] Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!!
[07:16.235] Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
[07:18.446] What? Fine? Because I am!
[07:20.693] Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you?
[07:24.099] You see? Who else is fine?
[07:27.480] Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
[07:31.417] You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
[07:35.412] (Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.)
[07:41.924] Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
[07:48.656] Yeah, I really cherish these moments,
[07:50.922] 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
[07:57.508] Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
[08:01.061] Yeah.
[08:01.866] Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
[08:05.590] I haven't slept in four years!
[08:11.298] That's a, that's a long time.
[08:13.138] You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them.
[08:17.594] You know,two I can handle. Two's great.
[08:20.365] You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on.
[08:25.505] I've got no more hands to protect my area!
[08:29.468] There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
[08:31.701] Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
[08:38.097] Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No.
[08:47.661] What?
[08:48.320] No, I can't.
[08:52.794] Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving?
[08:55.615] Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
[08:58.857] Oh, no! I would never do that. No.
[09:02.009] I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one.
[09:07.580] What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
[09:18.944] Thank you so much for seeing us.
[09:20.241] Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
[09:22.375] Oh, please, we're happy to help.
[09:24.652] We went through the same thing when we were adopting.
[09:26.843] So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
[09:30.281] (Bill and Colleen look shocked.)
[09:37.216] I mean, you have a lovely home.
[09:40.721] Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us.
[09:42.538] Well, actually, I think this might help.
[09:45.941] (She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)
[09:46.896] It's pretty much all the information you need.
[09:48.648] Oh my god!
[09:49.866] Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced,
[09:52.501] and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back.
[09:55.935] Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
[10:03.819] I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it.
[10:07.211] Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
[10:10.129] That's great.
[10:11.198] (To Monica.) Can I see the book?
[10:12.230] (Monica looks at him.)
[10:13.981] You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?
[10:17.273] It's.. It's just so pretty and white.
[10:20.767] The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
[10:24.728] I would have told him to do it too.
[10:26.399] Can I adopt you?
[10:30.992] Hey, you must be Owen.
[10:32.060] Yeah.
[10:33.144] I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.
[10:35.964] You were?
[10:36.535] Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother.
[10:40.505] Huh?
[10:41.279] You know how to use a compass?
[10:43.821] I have a badge in it.
[10:44.854] You do? That's fantastic!
[10:46.752] You wanna see it?
[10:47.491] I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents.
[10:49.737] They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
[10:52.556] What?!?
[11:00.170] What?
[11:03.037] I'm adopted?!
[11:04.431] (Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.)
[11:06.652] I got nothing.
[11:14.113] The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
[11:23.085] Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.
[11:26.980] Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
[11:34.127] Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
[11:39.411] I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us.
[11:46.173] There's no weirdness, no tension.
[11:49.071] No awareness.
[11:52.241] We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together.
[11:56.554] Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay,where do you think we - we can go?
[12:03.206] My fajitas!!
[12:05.949] (He runs off to the kitchen.)
[12:07.938] Look, Charlie, I just want you to know.
[12:10.997] Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me.
[12:15.256] You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
[12:17.334] Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.
[12:24.047] Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable?
[12:29.851] (Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
[12:30.333] Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!
[12:33.921] Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
[12:40.252] That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
[12:46.114] Okay, well, this is crazy.
[12:47.635] Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids,can we?
[12:50.993] No, of course we're not.
[12:52.905] Insane.
[12:53.219] I know.
[12:54.423] Alice would never go for it, right?
[12:56.000] Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard.
[13:01.354] Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically.
[13:05.668] Which one would you be willing to give up?
[13:08.337] Huh.
[13:09.960] Frank Jr.Jr.?
[13:11.469] Oh, you'd be getting a really good one.
[13:14.304] I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
[13:21.602] Uh-huh.
[13:22.014] What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.)
[13:30.486] Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
[13:34.333] Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie?
[13:36.631] Oh, no, no. Not Leslie.
[13:39.344] No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
[13:44.841] Alright, so that leaves Chandler.
[13:46.105] Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius.
[13:50.205] I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor..
[13:58.249] Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
[14:03.243] Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up.
[14:13.238] I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
[14:19.347] I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more.
[14:24.140] I can -I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
[14:27.551] How about tomorrow?
[14:28.429] Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there.
[14:34.731] You and Alice just take the whole day together.
[14:37.483] You'd do that for us?
[14:39.383] Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
[14:47.474] Look at them! Aw. I love you so much.
[14:53.090] (Strokes Leslie's hair,and she moves a little.)
[14:54.315] Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
[15:00.704] Where are Bill and Colleen?
[15:01.767] They're in the kitchen getting something to eat.
[15:03.834] Can you believe how nice they are?
[15:05.148] We have to leave!!
[15:08.394] Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
[15:11.587] I didn't get to the bathroom.
[15:12.684] I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted.
[15:15.894] And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
[15:19.711] Oh my god, where's my purse?
[15:20.895] No, you know what? I can replace everything in there.
[15:22.458] Get that binder, and let's go!
[15:24.316] Hey.
[15:25.788] Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms.
[15:29.909] Those are for Owen.
[15:31.749] I'll go get him in a second.
[15:32.902] By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
[15:37.533] But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
[15:41.447] (Owen comes running in.)
[15:42.012] I'm adopted?!
[15:43.373] See? Intuitive!
[15:45.807] What? Where did you hear that?
[15:47.922] HE told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.
[15:55.117] Which technically now you should give back!
[16:00.586] You told him he's adopted?
[16:02.479] I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something.
[16:05.561] Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door.
[16:09.040] "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
[16:12.561] He isn't?!
[16:15.677] (to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby!
[16:21.162] Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
[16:27.777] Ooy.
[16:29.770] And to love~ Ahhh, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
[16:47.632] Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
[16:51.285] O is for "oh, wow!"
[17:00.671] The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way.
[17:14.037] E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together.
[17:32.091] And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
[17:40.454] (Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
[17:44.796] Dude, are you okay?
[17:46.250] Totally.
[17:49.893] Ross, you don't seem okay.
[17:51.495] (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining.
[17:58.805] I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
[18:02.534] Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
[18:05.890] No!
[18:06.987] I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
[18:15.331] Wasn't it?
[18:16.594] And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
[18:22.861] You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
[18:27.250] Okay.
[18:27.960] Alright.
[18:32.544] God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
[18:34.187] Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me.
[18:38.529] Bye.
[18:41.455] Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!
[18:51.615] You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
[18:54.930] Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now.
[19:02.399] I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
[19:04.010] No, no, it's just that it's getting late...
[19:05.619] Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.
[19:17.666] I don't even know what that's for.
[19:25.704] You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
[19:30.276] Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
[19:31.655] Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
[19:33.046] Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
[19:41.294] It doesn't look good, does it?
[19:47.422] (They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
[20:04.068] Morning. Here you go.
[20:06.672] Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
[20:11.032] Yeah.
[20:13.809] So you took off my pants and shoes?
[20:17.762] No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack.
[20:25.581] Look,Ross, about, about Rachel and I.
[20:30.519] Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay?
[20:32.288] Because nothing is gonna happen.
[20:34.665] What do you mean?
[20:37.580] Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything
[20:40.757] unless you were okay with it.
[20:42.379] And clearly..
[20:43.845] Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
[20:47.246] It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine.
[20:52.909] You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
[20:59.761] Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years.
[21:12.122] Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
[21:17.611] That's what I hear, yeah.
[21:21.627] This is crazy. I mean, six years?
[21:24.554] And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together?
[21:29.844] Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
[21:39.100] Come on, I mean, you know me, you know...
[21:44.520] Joey.
[21:51.958] I'm crazy about her.
[21:59.457] And she feels the same way?
[22:04.161] I think so.
[22:08.645] Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
[22:13.290] Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
[22:15.672] No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right?
[22:28.777] Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I?
[22:31.349] I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
[22:32.914] No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me.
[22:42.660] Are you uhh... sure about this?
[22:46.828] Yeah, I'm sure.
[22:51.731] And... we're okay?
[22:58.516] (Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands.
[23:03.124] He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
[23:07.049] Hey, Phoebs-Hey.
[23:08.606] Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.
[23:12.412] Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
[23:14.982] What?
[23:16.405] Still, he had to find out sometime.
[23:18.746] Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
[23:21.850] (The triplets stare at him.)
[23:27.561] I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.)