[ti:]
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[00:-7.00]
[00:00.04]The way you crushed Mike at Ping-Pong was such a turn-on. You wanna..?
[00:07.18]You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.
[00:10.01]- I'll put a pillowcase over my head. - You're on. -
[00:13.78]- Hey. - What's up?
[00:15.62]Well, Mike's taking a shower, which, by the way, there's no law against.
[00:20.89]And then we're gonna grab some food. So if you want..
[00:24.19]- Finally. - Is that Ross?
[00:26.43]Yeah. You can hear everything through these stupid walls.
[00:30.23]- Sounds like he's with someone. - He could be alone. -
[00:32.80]This morning I heard him do pushups and then talk to his triceps.
[00:36.47]Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right.
[00:39.34]Yeah, I hear someone else in there with him.
[00:47.22]- Dr. Geller! - God, you're amazing.
[00:49.82]I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
[00:54.42]- Oh, my God, that's Charlie! - She's cheating on Joey with Ross!
[00:58.26]Oh, that tart! Floozy! Giant!
[01:05.13]- I'm not sure about this. - Yeah, you're right.
[01:07.60]This is none of our business.
[01:09.14]I'm not sure it's the best way to hear everything. Get me a glass!
[01:13.18]No, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
[01:17.68]I love Barbados.
[01:26.49]I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel!
[01:31.53]I know. I'm her.
[01:35.13]Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!
[01:37.73]- What? - Get over here!
[01:45.37]Oh, my God! I love how thin these walls are!
[01:57.69]Thank you.
[02:49.91]Hey, before, you said that nothing could happen between us. What changed?
[02:54.38]Well, I only said that because of Ross.
[02:57.28]- And then I saw him kissing Charlie. - What?
[03:00.28]Ross and Charlie?
[03:02.45]Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh?
[03:09.26]- Eh, who am I to talk? - Yeah.
[03:13.66]I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
[03:16.16]How about the dinosaur twins in the other room?
[03:19.90]- No one is manning that wall! - I'm on it!
[03:25.81]- Anything? - I think I hear curtains closing. -
[03:28.08]We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
[03:31.35]Bedsprings! Unmistakable!
[03:34.78]- You realize that's your brother. - Not until you said it. Somebody switch! -
[03:40.79]Wow! Wait a minute.
[03:43.26]Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel.
[03:45.99]Phoebe and Mike. We're the only ones leaving with the person we came with!
[03:49.83]That's not true. I came with Monica, I'm leaving with Weird Al.
[03:54.57]Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes.
[03:57.07]- Tomorrow I'm going to the salon. - Okay, Buckwheat. -
[04:03.04]You gotta hear this, it's great! It's like free porn.
[04:14.86]- Is everything okay? - It's just.. I don't think I can do this.
[04:18.99]Oh, is it because of what might be on the bed?
[04:21.53]- I saw that report, with the infrared.. - No! No.
[04:25.07]No.
[04:27.94]Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up.
[04:32.01]Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
[04:36.75]- I completely understand. - All right, I'm gonna go find him.
[04:44.22]I just need a second before I can, you know..
[04:51.53]Grandma, Grandma, Grandma.
[05:01.54]- Okay, I'll see you later. - Okay!
[05:05.51]That's the door. He's gone.
[05:07.74]And she's turning on the TV..
[05:10.91]and watching Miss Congeniality.
[05:16.35]Honey? If you know it through a wall, you know it too well.
[05:28.36]Hey, what are you guys doing?
[05:33.57]We're just.. We're sad to go, so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel.
[05:37.94]I love you..
[05:40.78]Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.
[05:46.75]Yeah. We had a great time, thank you.
[05:54.09]
[05:57.53]Okay. Hey, have you guys seen Joey anywhere? OK,
[06:00.76]He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend, Charlie.
[06:03.93]That's the situation as we know it.
[06:09.27]If you see him, could you tell him I'm looking for him?
[06:12.07]- You got it. - Thanks.
[06:17.65]Thank you.
[06:24.49]Other wall, people! Other wall!
[06:30.96]- Rach, you there? - Oh, my God, that's Ross! -
[06:33.80]- What are we gonna do? - Okay, just be calm.
[06:36.10]For all he knows, we're just hanging out.
[06:38.43]All right? So just be nonchalant.
[06:47.01]- That's not nonchalant! - No idea what it means. -
[06:51.85]Okay, just hide.
[06:53.98]- Rach? - Coming! Try under the bed.
[07:01.59]There's no room under the bed..
[07:04.73]- Is everything okay? - Yeah.
[07:16.30]- Hey. Do you know where Joey is? - Hi.
[07:19.64]I really don't.
[07:24.65]- Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah. Sure.
[07:29.82]I don't believe this. Have you guys been..?
[07:32.85]This is the listening side of the wall.
[07:41.73]Then she told me that she and Joey had broken up..
[07:44.40]and part of the reason was she had feelings for me.
[07:47.40]Right. Yeah.
[07:48.70]You know I've wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
[07:51.97]Oh, I know, I know. That's been really hard for you.
[07:55.64]Anyway, one thing led to another, and..
[07:58.85]before you know it, we were kissing.
[08:01.22]How angry do you think Joey's gonna be?
[08:03.92]That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
[08:08.62]I gotta find him. He's gotta be here someplace.
[08:11.06]You would think.
[08:17.27]
[08:19.27]
[08:25.41]
[08:27.21]What are you..? What is this? Have you been listening this entire time?
[08:30.78]
[08:33.28]Now, what is this?
[08:35.28]What is this? Well, let's see. We kissed for 10 minutes..
[08:38.39]and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade.
[08:42.96]No, no. Have you thought about how complicated this could get?
[08:46.59]- What about Ross? - Well, he's with Charlie now. -
[08:49.06]Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her.
[08:52.77]And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
[09:00.54]You're a pain in my ass, Geller.
[09:05.25]Look, we appreciate all the advice..
[09:07.48]but this is between Joey and me. We can handle it.
[09:10.12]We'll go. Will you do one thing for us, the people that care about you?
[09:13.69]- Sure. - Enunciate.
[09:15.89]Get out!
[09:24.13]Are they right?
[09:27.20]Probably, yeah. I mean, maybe we should..
[09:31.27]hold off until we talk to Ross.
[09:34.24]Yeah. Yeah. We can wait. We don't have to do anything tonight.
[09:38.41]Yeah, I think that would be best.
[09:41.45]So, I'm gonna.. I'm gonna take off.
[09:44.95]- Although.. - I like "although."
[09:48.36]I mean, you know..
[09:50.43]Ross and I haven't dated in, like..
[09:53.96]six years. 6
[09:55.96]Six years?
[09:58.27]Wow. That's almost as long as high school.
[10:06.27]Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.
[10:09.68]Absolutely.
[10:11.35]- He's not thinking about you. - No.
[10:15.02]I'm thinking about you.
[10:18.05]
[10:21.36]Yeah. - Let's forget about Ross. - It's forgotten.
[10:27.63]- What's wrong? - Nothing.
[10:29.76]Seriously, what is it?
[10:33.37]Nothing. It's really.. It's nothing. Come here. Come here.
[10:38.57]What's wrong?
[10:40.98]Sorry, I just..
[10:43.65]I can't seem to get Ross out of my head.
[10:48.92]Well, maybe I can help.
[10:56.92]Your lips are so soft. Do that again.
[11:02.10]Yeah, we need to talk to Ross. Yeah.
[11:12.27]Hey. You guys ready to go?
[11:14.24]Not quite. Monica's at the salon, and I'm finishing packing.
[11:17.28]Dude, you're not taking your Bible?
[11:21.75]You're not supposed to take that.
[11:23.48]Besides, it's a New Testament. What are you gonna do with it?
[11:26.59]
[11:31.43]
[11:33.80]No. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
[11:38.40]Okay. Sounds like a good idea, Dr. Geller.
[11:43.27]Stop it.
[11:45.77]Ph.D. PHD
[11:48.74]You're filthy.
[11:51.71]- Hey. Have you guys seen Monica? - Actually, I think she went to the salon. -
[11:55.52]Oh, yeah. Oh, she went to the salon, all right.
[11:57.99]Check it out!
[12:02.16]Whose day just got better?
[12:04.96]Chandler!
[12:08.50]Hey!
[12:12.27]- What do you think? - I think..
[12:14.50]I think I can see your scalp.
[12:18.04]Don't you just love it?
[12:19.84]Yeah. Yeah, you got shellfish in your head.
[12:24.01]It's something. You go, girlfriend.
[12:29.05]- You never said that in your life. - Not once. -
[12:31.35]I thought so.
[12:33.56]Oh, and listen to this.
[12:31.06]Oh, and listen to this.
[12:37.46]What do you know? It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.
[12:54.95]Wow, it's kind of weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
[12:59.82]Yeah. It's almost as if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.
[13:04.46]Does someone mind switching and sitting with Charlie?
[13:07.13]Oh, I mean, I.. Dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.
[13:11.30]- I understand. - No, I'll do it.
[13:14.30]Wish I could switch. I really don't want to sit with Allen lverson over there.
[13:25.22]Once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seat belt sign..
[13:28.72]you feel free to roam about my cabin.
[13:33.13]And you should be careful when checking your overhead bins.
[13:37.50]- Because items may shift during.. - Oh, you're not good at this.
[13:44.60]- Do you have to go home tonight? - No, I think I could come over. -
[13:47.97]It's Saturday, right?
[13:50.51]What?
[13:52.01]- I can't do anything tonight. - Why not?
[13:56.12]I have a date.
[13:59.65]- You have a date? With who? - Oh, it's my girlfriend.
[14:06.29]- You have a girlfriend? - Yeah.
[14:09.13]Well, when you and I broke up, I started seeing someone.
[14:12.16]- Well, for how long? - Three months.
[14:14.93]Three months?
[14:17.57]Okay.
[14:19.31]This is none of my business, but how long are you gonna keep seeing her?
[14:24.71]I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
[14:27.78]Oh, okay, good. You do that.
[14:30.98]When you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.
[14:36.49]Maybe I'll sign for it, tear it open.
[14:41.79]- Pull out the packing material.. - We'll have sex. Let's leave it there. -
[14:55.68]All right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time.
[14:59.35]He's in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty-free."
[15:03.96]Okay. Good luck.
[15:04.58]Ross is coming over. I think now would be a good time to talk to him.
[15:08.72]I guess so. I'm just.. I'm really nervous.
[15:11.49]Well, keep in mind that by the time you're done..
[15:14.06]they'll probably be serving dinner.
[15:18.86]Still nervous?
[15:21.30]I'm gonna get the lasagna.
[15:24.87]- Hey, Rach? - Yeah?
[15:26.44]- Do you mind if I sit here for a sec? - Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. -
[15:30.07]Good luck.
[15:36.51]- Hey. - Hey.
[15:39.42]So I..
[15:41.32]I kind of need to talk to you about Charlie.
[15:44.06]- Yeah? - Last night, after you guys broke up..
[15:48.23]So sorry to hear about that, by the way.
[15:52.56]Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..
[15:58.30]Well..
[16:00.67]You kissed.
[16:02.17]Wh.. What?
[16:06.81]What? What would give you that idea?
[16:10.51]- I saw you. - Yeah, we kissed.
[16:14.52]But nothing else. Nothing else happened, okay?
[16:18.76]- Ross, Ross, Ross. It's okay. - What?
[16:22.03]It's okay. You know, look..
[16:24.73]I totally understand, all right? You guys..
[16:28.03]make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know? And..
[16:32.97]- I want you to be happy. - Are you serious?
[16:36.34]Yeah.
[16:40.58]- Now I have something.. - I am speechless.
[16:45.18]I mean, the fact that you would put my happiness first like that, I mean..
[16:50.09]You're an incredible friend, do you know that?
[16:52.72]- Well, look, before you go.. - No, I mean it.
[16:55.59]I mean, you're so loyal, man. And selfless and generous.
[17:03.10]I am those things, yeah.
[17:05.60]I've known Chandler longer, so I think of him as my best friend. But now..
[17:13.21]I may have to rethink some stuff.
[17:16.11]Dude!
[17:17.48]Hey, if there is ever anything I can do for you..
[17:24.12]I can't think of anything.
[17:28.53]- Thanks. - Yeah.
[17:34.87]- So hi. - Hi.
[17:36.37]- So you talked to Joey? - Oh, yeah. We had a really good talk. -
[17:40.87]- Oh, that's great. - Yeah.
[17:42.94]- So everything's okay? - Oh, no, it's great.
[17:46.04]- It's great. He's an amazing guy. - Oh, well, obviously, I think so too.
[17:52.05]Well, I'm so excited about this.
[17:56.22]Really? Excited?
[17:59.36]What, are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this.
[18:08.07]Excuse me.
[18:16.17]You didn't tell him, did you?
[18:18.68]I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me.
[18:22.08]I didn't want him to get mad and take them back. I'm gonna edge out Chandler!
[18:27.18]Fine. Forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.
[18:30.59]Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.
[18:51.84]- Hi, Mike's place. - Hey, it's Mike.
[18:54.44]- That was fast. - Oh, no, she's not here yet.
[18:57.95]You know, I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone.
[19:01.89]You can't do that. Oh, come on, Mike, strap on a pair.
[19:07.46]Why don't you tell her that we got back together. Women appreciate honesty.
[19:12.43]We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while, just FYl.
[19:18.84]One more thing. There might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
[19:23.67]Her name's Precious?
[19:26.18]Is she a pure breed, or did you pick her up at the pound?
[19:30.71]- I just want to give you a heads up. - Okay. And if she gets upset.. -
[19:46.70]Hi. I'm Precious. Who are you?
[19:49.74]- I'm Phoebe. - Phoebe?
[19:52.31]Mike's ex-girlfriend, Phoebe? The love of his life? That Phoebe?
[20:02.09]Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these!
[20:08.06]- You go back to work tomorrow night? - Yeah. -
[20:10.53]So if you want people to see them..
[20:12.66]you're not having them taken out, say, at the break of dawn?
[20:16.33]Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this.
[20:26.64]You like that, right?
[20:36.02]- What are you singing? - It's "Bolero" from 10.
[20:39.42]It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from Apocalypse Now.
[20:43.39]Here's the thing. The cornrows were a solution to your frizzy-hair problem.
[20:47.47]Now that we're home, you don't have that problem. If you think about it..
[20:51.24]I hate them.
[20:53.91]- What? You said you liked them. - Did I? Let's refresh. -
[20:58.14]I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp.
[21:02.38]Well, fine. So you don't like them. Everybody else does.
[21:05.98]Again, let's journey back.
[21:09.29]As I recall, Rachel said she had never noticed the shape of your skull before.
[21:14.09]And Joey? Well, Joey didn't realize there was anything different.
[21:19.63]You know what? I don't care. I like it, and I'm gonna keep it.
[21:23.23]You're just jealous because your hair can't do this.
[21:29.71]- Get yourself in the tooth? - And the eye.
[21:41.49]Hi! There she is! Hi, Emma. Oh, my God, I missed you.
[21:47.63]Oh, Emma, I missed you so much. Hi.
[21:50.83]Did you have a good time with Grandma Greene? Huh?
[21:53.83]Did she give you a bottle of antidepressants again to use as a rattle?
[21:59.20]That was one time, Ross, and they were only, like, five milligrams.
[22:04.68]Hey, Emma, Daddy has some presents for you, okay? I want you to wait right here.
[22:09.48]Come here, sweetie.
[22:12.35]Ross, actually, there's something that I really need to talk to you about.
[22:16.85]Okay, shoot.
[22:18.69]- Okay. All right, here's the deal. - Oh, no!
[22:25.46]- What is it? - Oh, major shampoo explosion! -
[22:31.70]- Look, Ross, this really isn't easy. - Oh, it's all over everything!
[22:38.98]Why? Why me?
[22:41.68]Because you took 300 bottles of shampoo?
[22:46.99]I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were saying?
[22:49.59]- Well, yeah. Look, it's about me and.. - Oh, not another one! -
[22:56.30]Oh, my God.. Oh, and this is moisturizer! It's even harder to clean!
[23:02.77]Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
[23:08.31]- Wow. Clearly this is not a good time. - You think?
[23:16.82]Okay. Bye.
[23:18.82]All right, so Mike's on his way over.
[23:22.26]You thought you were meeting here, he thought at the restaurant, so..
[23:26.46]It doesn't matter who's right or wrong. The point is, I'm gonna take off.
[23:31.60]Wait. I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on. I mean..
[23:36.00]are you guys getting back together or something?
[23:39.84]All right.
[23:43.78]Susie.. Can I call you Susie?
[23:46.95]My name is Precious.
[23:49.72]I can't say that.
[23:53.29]Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you.
[23:56.69]Mike and I are back together. And unfortunately..
[24:00.86]that effectively ends your relationship with him.
[24:04.73]He's very sorry about that, and wishes you the best luck in all your endeavors.
[24:12.57]I just can't believe this. Why?
[24:16.28]- Well, I don't.. - Why would he do this?
[24:18.45]- What's wrong with me? - There's nothing wrong with you. -
[24:21.42]What the hell am I supposed to do now?
[24:23.65]Damn it, woman! Pull yourself together!
[24:27.02]Have some pride, for the love of God!
[24:34.56]Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
[24:37.87]I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
[24:41.87]He didn't know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me.
[24:47.24]He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever!
[24:56.35]Look, Precious..
[25:01.69]Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman..
[25:05.73]and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang.
[25:09.46]He proposed to me while he was still seeing you.
[25:12.67]He was gonna break up with you on your birthday?
[25:15.54]I don't like to kiss and tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
[25:20.58]Oh, my God, you know, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him.
[25:24.01]I deserve to be treated with respect.
[25:27.62]Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell!
[25:38.56]You're welcome.
[25:45.77]Honey? You've been in there for a long time. Is everything okay?
[25:50.00]Not really.
[25:54.18]I have a problem.
[25:56.85]Really? What happened?
[26:00.15]Well, I was dancing around and singing "No Woman, No Cry"..
[26:07.59]and I got stuck.
[26:10.36]- You can't move at all? - Oh, I can move.
[26:19.87]If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the cornrows?
[26:23.00]I guess so.
[26:26.51]- Some of these look a little frayed. - Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free. -
[26:35.12]- Hey. - Hi.
[26:36.89]- So? Did you tell Ross? - Well, I tried..
[26:40.56]but then he had a shampoo-related emergency.
[26:44.43]- So I guess now it's your turn again. - No, no, no, no.
[26:47.13]I think it's better if you tell him. You know, it's easier for a woman.
[26:50.80]That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go:
[26:54.07]"I didn't mean it.
[26:57.67]I'm so sorry."
[27:03.41]Yeah, because that's what we do.
[27:05.75]
[27:11.25]Tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
[27:14.92]Okay, that sounds fair.
[27:16.82]- That just means, once again, we can't.. - I know.
[27:19.76]That's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves. We're not animals.
[27:23.83]- No! Of course, we can wait. - Yeah.
[27:28.47]All right, so I guess that means good night then.
[27:31.01]Yep. Good night.
[27:40.48]Good night.
[27:43.85]Good night.
[27:52.13]- Seriously, good night. - Stop saying good night.
[28:14.88]I'm so sorry.
[28:24.66]Look what I found in the drawer.
[28:29.00]And you said I'd never wear this.
[28:32.83]Now that I untangled you, how about you do a little something for me?
[28:36.60]- Sure. What did you have in mind? - I think you know. -
[28:40.54]- Really? I don't.. I don't really feel like it. - This is what I want to do. -
[28:46.71]Okay.
[28:48.52]I just don't get why you like it so much.
[28:51.99]She's an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant!
[19:34.82]just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snap.