So it seems like this lnternet thing is here to stay,huh? 看来网际网路是不会消失了
It's okay not to talk. 不说话也没关系
Hey,you guys,guess what. 你们猜怎样？
-Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce. -Oh,my God. -贝瑞和明蒂要离婚了 -天哪
What is the matter with you? 你是怎么搞的？
No. Barry and Mindy. 不，是贝瑞和明蒂
Oh,sorry. I hear "divorce," I immediately go to Ross. 对不起 我一听到离婚就觉得是罗斯
Who's Barry and Mindy? 谁是贝瑞和明蒂？
Barry was the guy that I almost married, and Mindy was my best friend. 贝瑞是我差点要嫁的人 明蒂是我最要好的朋友
Wasn't he cheating on you with her? 他们不是有一腿？
But that just means he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me. 对，但那只表示他做到一半 会在她身上睡着
-Why did they get divorced? -Well,apparently... -他们为什么要离婚？ -显然是...
she caught him cheating on her with someone else. 他外遇被她逮到
Isn't that sad? 很悲哀吧？
Can you imagine if I'd married him? How different would my life be? 要是我真的嫁给他 我的人生会多么不同
I've always wondered how different my life would be... 我懂你的意思，我总是在想
if I'd never gotten divorced. 要是我没有离婚会怎样
-Which time? -The first time! 哪一次？ 第一次啦
Imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian. 真的，要是卡萝没发现 她是同性恋
I can't. I keep seeing it the good way. 我无法想像 我老是往好的方面去想
I bet I'd still be doing my karate. 那我一定还在练控手道 （空手道）
Towards the end of our marriage, I did a lot of karate to release the tension... 后来我经常练控手道
from not doing anything else physical. 好发泄缺乏肉体运动的精力
Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it "ka-ra-tay." 也许你不念成控手道就没事了
What if I was still fat? 如果我还是很胖呢？
You wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure. 你一定不会跟我交往
-Sure I would. -Come on. 当然会 少来了
You guys really think I'm that shallow? 你们真的觉得我那么肤浅？
No,I just think Monica was that fat. 不，我只是觉得摩妮卡太胖
Hey,imagine if I'd never got fired off Days of Our Lives. 要是我没被 “我们的岁月”开除呢？
Hey. Hey,there's Carol again. 卡萝又出现了
What if I had had the guts to quit my job? 要是我有勇气辞职呢？
I'd probably be writing for The New Yorker, being paid to be funny. 我可能在帮“纽约客”写稿 拿钱搞笑
But my job's fun too. I mean,tomorrow... 现在的工作也很有趣 明天...
I don't have to wear a tie. 我不必打领带
What if I'd taken that job at Merrill Lynch? 要是我去美林证券上班呢？
-What? -Merrill Lynch? 什么？ 美林证券？
I had a massage client who worked there, and he said I had a knack for stocks. 对，我有个客人在那里上班 他说我有炒股票的头脑
Why didn't you take the job? 那你怎么不去？
Because at that time,I thought that everything that rhymed was true. 因为当时我很相信押韵这回事
I thought if I worked with stocks... 我觉得要是我去做股票
I'd have to live in a box and only eat lox and have a pet fox. 就得住地窖 只能吃安眠药，养三脚猫
Yeah,you don't want that in a broker. 这种股票经纪人的确不优
Do you guys think if all those things happened, we'd still hang out? 你们觉得如果有这些事 我们还会在一起吗？
The One That Could Have Been 本集播出：“虚拟六人行”
rainystar压制iPod-MP4
Oh,my God. Rachel Green? 天哪，瑞秋葛林？
Rob Tilman! 劳勃提尔曼
No, no, it's me. Ross. 不对，是我，罗斯
Oh,I'm sorry. Ross Tilman. 对不起，罗斯提尔曼
-No. No,no. Ross Geller. -Of course! Monica's brother. -不是，是罗斯盖勒 -对哦，摩妮卡的哥哥
-Yeah. Right. -Wow! How are you? 没错 你好吗？
Good. Good. I'm married. 很好，我结婚了
Me too! 我也是
-Isn't it the best? -Oh,it's the best. 结婚真好不是吗？ 就是啊
-So how's Monica? -Really,really great. 摩妮卡好吗？ 非常好
Actually,she's right down the street. You should stop by and say hi. 事实上她就在前面 你应该过去打个招呼
-I would love to. -She'd be so excited. 好啊 她会很高兴
-Okay. -Come on. 好 走吧
Wait,don't you have to pay for... 等等，你不是要买…
Busty Ladies? “**女郞”？
No,that's okay. Some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I.... 没关系，有个小孩托我帮他买 走吧
Don't you have to give him his money back? 你不是应该把钱还给他？
Here you go,buddy. Sorry,no porn for you. 拿去吧，抱歉，你不能看A书
Okay,let's go see Monica. 我们去找摩妮卡吧
So,Monica. Still going out with Dr. Boring,huh? 摩妮卡 你还在跟无聊医生交往？
He's not boring. He's just... 他才不无聊，他只是…
He's low-key. 只是比较低调
-Here you go, one hazelnut latte. -Thank you. 你的榛果拿铁 谢谢
You know, the hazelnut, actually not a nut. 其实榛果不是果实
It's a seed. 而是种子
Wow.
Can anyone else name a well-known seed that's been masquerading as a nut? 还有谁能说出一种 假装是果实的常见种子？
Oh,dear God. Let me think. 天哪，我想想看
What's the matter? 你怎么了？
I got another rejection letter. 我又被退稿了
They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic" funny. 他们说我的东西很有趣 只是不符合“阿奇漫画”风
I gotta get back to the hospital. 亲爱的，我得回医院了
-Bye. -Bye-bye. 再见
By the way, the answer is: the Brazil nut. 对了，答案是巴西果
Was his question, "What's more boring than him?" 他的问题比他的人更无趣
And nice sweater vest, by the way. 好帅的毛线背心啊
-Stop it,guys. He's sweet. -Yeah,yeah. 你们别这样，他人很好 是啊
Hey,man. Sorry about the Archie thing. 老兄，退稿的事真可惜
You need me to give you some money? 你要我给你一些钱吗？
I may have no money, but I still have my pride. 我穷归穷，还是有骨气
Really? 是吗？
Joey doesn't have to give you the money. 也许乔伊不必给你钱
-TV stars have assistants,right? -That's an idea. -电视明星都有助理对吧？-可行喔
If I hire an assistant, would you take money from her? 要是我请助理转交 你会收吗？
No,Joey. Chandler could be your assistant. 不是啦，钱德可以当你的助理
He could answer all your fan mail and stuff. 他可以帮你回信给影迷
-That would be great! Let's do that! -I could use the money. -太好了，好主意，就这么办吧 -我有钱领
I'd have time to write. 还有时间写作

All right. Now,I need to use the bathroom. 我现在要去上厕所
Since I don't need any assistance in there,take a break! 我上厕所不用人帮 你就休息吧    106 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:45,230 All right. 好
-Hey. -Hey,Phoebe. 菲比，
Guess what. Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant. 你猜怎样？乔伊找钱德当他的助理
That's so sweet. 真好
Oh! Hang on! 等一下
Hang on! 等我一下
Go! 说
No. No,no. I said sell when it hits 50! 不对，不对 我是说一到50点就卖
Five-oh! It's a number! It comes after four-nine! 50是一个数字，在49后面
No,it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed one mistake. 没关系，一次错误可以接受
Just kidding. You are,of course,fired. 开玩笑的，你当然被开除了
Oh,what a shame. I really liked her. 真可惜，我很喜欢她
Hey,Mon? Mon,look who I ran into! 摩妮卡，你看我遇见谁
Oh,my God,Rachel! 天哪，瑞秋
-God,you look terrific! -So do you! -你好漂亮 -你也是
-Did you lose weight? -You are so sweet to notice. -你是不是瘦了？-你居然注意到了
Yes,I lost 3.5 pounds! 没错，我瘦了3.5磅
You remember my friend Chandler. 记得我的朋友钱德吧
-And that's Phoebe over there. -Hi. 那位是菲比
Sit down. How long has it been since we've seen each other? 天哪，快坐下 我们多久没见面了？
1987,the day after Christmas. Sean McMahan's party. 1987年，圣诞节第二天 西恩麦克曼的派对
I played you one of my songs,you know, "lnterplanetary Courtship Ritual." 我弹了我的创作曲给你听 “星际求爱仪式”
Oh,yeah. Right. 喔对
-So,now,do you still do music? -Well,sometimes. -你还在玩音乐吗？ -偶尔
-Come over sometime. I'll play you.. -Oh,my God! 你应该来我家，我弹… 天哪
Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives just walked in here! “我们的岁月”的 乔伊崔比亚尼刚刚走进来
-Rach,he's a friend of ours. -You're friends with Dr. Drake Ramoray? -瑞秋，他是我们的朋友 -你们是拉莫瑞医生的朋友？
It's hard to be friends with Drake... 要跟他交朋友有点难
because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real. 因为他很忙，又是个虚构人物
Hey,or I could bring my keyboard here sometime. 我也可以把键盘带来
-He's coming over. -Joey? 他过来了 乔伊
I know. Here,here. 好啦，拿去
No. This is my friend Rachel. We went to high school together. 不是啦，这是我朋友瑞秋 我们是高中同学
-Hi. -Hi.
I love you on that show. 我好喜欢你演的戏
I watch you every day. 我每天都看
When you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife... 你还捐肾救你的前妻…
even though she tried to kill you... 明明知道她想杀你
It's always nice to meet fans. 遇见影迷总是很开心
-She's not crazy,is she? -No. 她不会很神经吧？ 不会
So how you doing? 所以…你好吗？
Hang on. 等等…
Hang on. Hang on. 等等，等一下
Go! 说
Who's this? 谁？
You're gonna like working for me. 好，你要替我工作
What's your name? What kind of name is "Brindy"? 你叫什么名字？ 布伦蒂是什么鸟名字？
Stop talking. 闭嘴
All right, from now on your name is Joan. 好，以后你就叫琼安
You can pick your own last name. 姓你自己选
I can't find my pen. Did you eat that too? 我找不到我的笔 也被你吃掉了吗？
-There you are. -Uh-oh,it's my boss. 你在这里 是老板大人
Here's a list of things for you to do today. 这是你今天的工作项目
This is gonna be so great. Thank you so much. 太好了，谢谢你
I gotta go to work. I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine. 我要去接生双胞胎了 但只有一个是我的骨肉
"Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins." 把衣服送去干洗 去拿我的维他命
"Teach me how to spell vitamins." 教我怎么写维他命
"Wear in my new jeans." 把我的新牛仔裤穿软
-You realize what you are,don't you? -What? 你知道你的角色吧？什么角色？
You're his bitch! 你是他的喽罗
No,no! No! 不！不
Wait! You didn't sit on my Kit Kats did you? 你不是压坏了我的巧克力酥吧
No,there was a little, little dip in the market... 不是，市场出了点变化
and I lost 13 million dollars. 我损失了1千3百万
But the Kit Kats are all right? 不过巧克力酥没事吧？
What am I gonna do? I can't call my office, they'll kill me. 怎么办？怎么办？ 通知公司我会被砍死
I can't call my clients, they'll kill themselves! 通知客户他们会砍自己
-Great,now my chest hurts. -What? 帅啊，现在又胸口痛 什么？
My chest hurts. 我的胸口在痛
-And now I can't breathe. -Are you having a heart attack? 现在是喘不过气来 菲比，你是心脏病发作吗？
If I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm? 如果是，左臂会来回抽痛吗？
-Yes. -Then,yes. That is what I'm having. 会 那就是了
Oh,my God! 我的天哪
Okay,this thing is useless. So will you dial 911 for me? 我的手动不了了 帮我叫救护车好吗？
Come on,Phoebe, it's not that bad. 别这样，没那么严重
Most people would be excited if they didn't work for a couple weeks. 一般人如果可以休息两星期 会放鞭炮庆祝
Most people don't like their jobs. I love my job. 一般人不喜欢他们的工作 我喜欢我的工作
I've been not working for three hours, and I'm already going crazy. 我才休息3小时就快疯掉了
I miss Joan. 我想念琼安
Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down. 心脏病发就表示你该放慢脚步
I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die. 我一直以为心脏病发 就表示你要死了
You're not gonna die. 但是你不会死
I mean,you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today. 你迟早会死，但不是今天
I wish I was dead. 我去死算了
Let's take a walk. 我们去走走
You should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine. 你应该考虑去替 “讲话不经大脑”杂志写稿
What's going on with you? 你最近怎么样？
Well,I've been doing a lot more of my karate. 我练控手道练得更勤了
-Still a dry spell with Carol? -Yeah. 跟卡萝还在干枯期？ 对
How long has it been since you've had sex? 你们多久没上床了？
-Well,last weekend... -Oh,that's not so bad. 到上个周末… 那还好嘛
will be two months... 就已经2个月…
since I stopped trying. 放弃尝试了
You need to spice things up. 也许你应该玩一点刺激的
-What do you mean? -I don't know. 怎么说？不晓得
You could tie her up. You could eat stuff off each other. 你们可以绑住对方 可以在对方身上吃东西
Dirty talk, menage a trois, toys. 淫言秽语，3P，辅助工具
Role-playing. You're the warden, she's the prisoner. 角色扮演 你当典狱长她当囚犯
-You're the pirate, she's the wench. -Okay,I think I got it. 你当海盗她当村姑 好，我懂了
Or you could be two stockbrokers, and you're rolling naked on the trading floor... 或者你们都当股票经纪人 在号子的地板上翻滚...
and everybody's watching. 给大家看
It never happened. 我没干过
Sorry. 抱歉
-So how is it going with Joey? -Just great. He beeps me now with codes. 你帮乔伊工作得怎样？ 很好，他现在都用暗号呼叫我
One is: "Bring me food." 1是“带吃的来”
Two is: "I'm with a girl. Bring us food." 2是“有女伴，带吃的来”
Three is: "I'm lost and I can't find food." 3是“迷路，找不到吃的”
Oh,sweetie. 辛苦你了
Is there any food around here? 这附近有吃的吗？
-Is she gonna be all right? -Yeah,she's in there. 她不会有事吧？ 对，她在里面
Oh,great. 那就好
Go take off those pants. They look ready. 脱裤子吧，看起来够软了
And over there is Brady's Pub... 那里是布瑞帝酒吧
where I like to unwind after a long day of "surgeoning." 我行完医喜欢去轻松一下
This is so amazing. What else? 好棒喔，还有呢？
Well,that is a large piece of television equipment. 那是一个大型电视台设备
And that is an old man. 那是一个老男人
-Hey,old man! -Hey. 老男人你好
Alrighty. What do you say we head back to my place? 我们要不要回我家去？
You know,I would really love to, but I shouldn't. 我很想去，但是不行
Why? Why can't the world stop turning... 为什么？ 为什么世界不能停止转动
just for a moment, just for us? 只要一下下，只为了我们？
Isn't that a line from the show? 那不是戏里的台词吗？
Yeah,but... 对，不过
I may have said those things before, but... 我或许说过同样的话，但是…
I never truly meant them until now. 只有这一刻 我才是真心的
That's a line from the show too! 那也是戏里的台词
Okay,you watch too much TV. 你看太多电视了
Here's the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. 乔伊，现榨的柳橙汁来了
Thanks. 谢谢
There's pulp in that. 里面有果肉
怎样？
I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp. 我们不是讲过了 我不喜欢果肉
No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice. 不要果肉 果肉不是果汁，我要纯果汁
I'm sorry. I guess I just like the pulp. 对不起，我就是喜欢果肉
I'm sorry. I am being so rude. 天哪，抱歉，我太不客气了
Rachel,would you like a soda or something? 瑞秋，你要喝汽水什么的吗？
Because Chandler will run right out and get it. 钱德会马上去帮你买
Yeah, well, sure, iced tea would be great. 好啊，就冰红茶吧
Iced tea. 冰红茶
Okay. Anything for you,sir? 好，那您要什么？
Did I not just tell him? 我刚才不是说了吗？
Okay, look, Chandler, if this is gonna work... 钱德，你想替我工作
you have got to listen. 就要专心听我说话
You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't you? 你要拿果汁泼我对不对？
It's not all juice. 这不是纯果汁
So,honey,this morning was fun,huh? 亲爱的，早上很有意思吧？
Me hopping in on you in the shower there? 我在淋浴间扑向你
Yeah, maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms. 是啊，也许以后可以换一栋 有两间浴室的房子
Look,Carol,I was thinking maybe... 卡萝，我在想
Maybe we can spice things up a little. 或许我们可以玩一点刺激的
-What do you mean? -Carol,our sex life. It's just not.. 怎么说？卡萝，我们的性生活不美…
-Dad! -Hey there,little fella! 爸 小鬼头
Why don't we get some shoes on you,huh? 你要不要去穿鞋？
Why don't you show Dad how you can put your shoes on in your room. 自己去房里穿鞋给爸爸看
Seriously,our sex life. 说真的，我们的性生活…
I was thinking maybe,I don't know... 我想说或许…
we could try some new things,you know,for fun. 我们可以换个新花样玩玩
-Like what? -Well,I don't know. 像什么？ 我不知道
What if we were to... 互相把对方...
tie each other up? 绑起来如何？
Some people eat stuff off one another. 有些人会在对方身上吃东西
Yeah. 不好
You know,we could try dirty talk. 我们可以说脏话助长情趣
-We could have a threesome. -I love that idea! -我们可以玩3P -这个我喜欢
Who sold a story to Archie Comics? 谁的故事 被“阿奇漫画”采用了？
Oh, my God, that's so great. 天哪，太棒了
You're a published writer. I wish I had a present for you. 你有著作了，真想送你贺礼
Wait a minute. 等等
My last Kit Kat bar. 我的最后一个巧克力酥
-You want to share it? -Okay! 要不要跟我分？ 好啊
Chandler,I know you're mad. I'm sorry. 钱德，我知道你很生气 我想跟你道歉
I was a total jerk. Completely over the line. 我太混蛋、太超过了
I just... I hate pulp. 但我就是讨厌果肉
You know how Monica feels about low-fat mayonnaise? 就像摩妮卡 对低脂美乃滋的感觉
It's not mayonnaise! 那不是美乃滋
Anyway,I just wanted to say I'm sorry,and here. 总之我只想说对不起 这个给你
-What's this? -Fresh-squeezed orange juice,with pulp. 什么东西？现榨的柳橙汁
-Just the way you like it. -Thanks,man. 有你喜欢的果肉 谢了
Hey,Joey. 乔伊
Joey? Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics. 乔伊，钱德的故事 被“阿奇漫画”采用了
That's great! Congratulations! What's the story? 天哪，太棒了，恭喜 是什么故事？
You wouldn't care. It's just a stupid comic book story. 也没什么 只是个白痴的漫画故事
Are you kidding me? I love Archie and the whole gang. 开什么玩笑 我最爱阿奇那票人了
Well,Archie needs money to fix his jalopy. 阿奇需要钱修他的老爷车
But he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money. 但他不想跟瑞吉拿钱
So Reggie hires him as his assist.. 所以瑞吉就找他当助…
As his butler. 当管家
And then makes him do crazy things... 然后叫他做一堆无聊事
Like bring him milk shakes that can't have lumps in them. 例如叫他买不能有结块的奶昔
Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar. 等等，有点耳熟喔
Did they already do that one? I think I read it! 这个故事画过了吧 我觉得我看过
Monica,listen. I have to ask. 摩妮卡，我一定要问
Okay,Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment. 乔伊崔比亚尼找我去他家
-Does he do this with a lot of girls? -Yeah,a lot. A lot,a lot. 他经常找女人去他家吗？ 对，经常，经常的经常
And I'm one of them. 而我是其中之一
I just cannot believe this. I mean,Joey Tribbiani. 我真不敢相信 乔伊崔比亚尼耶
You don't have to use his last name. 你不必一直叫他的姓
But, Monica, come on, it's Joey Tribbiani. 但是他是乔伊崔比亚尼
I guess you have to. 看来你是非叫不可
It's none of my business, but aren't you married? 虽然与我无关 但你不是结婚了？
Yeah. 对啊
I wish we could just not be married for a little bit. 真希望我们能不结婚一下
You know,I just wish we could be, like,on a break. 真希望我们能分开一下
Well,you're not. 你们没有
It's easy for you. You're not married. You can have sex with whoever you want. 你当然轻松，你又没结婚 爱跟谁上床就跟谁上床
Yeah,I can. 没错
Don't think I don't. I do. 别以为我没有
I mean,all the time. You bet! 我一天到晚都有
Monica? 摩妮卡
You've done it,right? 你有经验了吧？
Of course I have. What do you think, I'm,like,some 30-year-old virgin? 当然有 你以为我是30岁的老处女吗
Oh,my God. You're a 30-year-old virgin. 天哪，你是30岁的老处女
Say it louder. The guy in the back didn't hear you. 再大声一点 后面那个人应该没听到
Yeah,I heard it. 我听到了