I cannot believe that you didn't tell me we are still married! 你居然没告诉我 我们还是夫妻
Look,I was going to tell you. 我有打算告诉你
When? After the birth of our first secret child? 什么时候？ 第一个小孩偷偷出生后？
Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married! 罗斯没办注销，我们还是夫妻
-You're kidding. -Oh,my God! 什么？ 我的天哪
It wasn't my best decision,but I couldn't face another failed marriage. 或许这个决定不好 但我无法面对另一次失败婚姻
At what point did you think this was a successful marriage? 我插个嘴 你觉得这段婚姻哪里成功？
Rach,come on. If you think about it, it's actually kind of funny. 别这样，其实想想还蛮好笑的
Maybe it's best not to think about it. 还是不要想好了
This is inexcusable. I'm shocked to my very core. 这真是不可原谅 我真是震惊到了极点
Phoebe,I told her you already knew. 菲比，我已经说你知道了
Another lie. You have a sickness! 又在骗人，你真的有病
For my own peace of mind, are you married to any more of us? 罗斯，你没娶我们其他人吧？
Look,Rach,I was going to tell you. 我有打算要告诉你
I just wanted to do it in my own way. 我只是想用我的方式说
Yes,silently,with no words. 是啊，无声胜有声的方式
Look,in Ross' defense,okay.... 我要替罗斯说句话…
The One With Joey's Porsche 本集播出：“名车狂想曲”

Someone left their keys. 有人掉了钥匙…
To a Porsche. 是保时捷
-Are these yours? -Yeah. That's what I drive. 阿甘，这是你的吗？ 是啊，我开保时捷
I make 4 bucks an hour. I saved up for 350 years. 我时薪4块钱，存了350年
少来了
Did anybody lose their keys? 有人掉了钥匙吗？
Put them in the lost and found. 你可以放进失物招领箱
There's a lost and found? 这里有失物招领箱？
My shoe! 我的鞋子
You left a shoe here? 你掉了一只鞋在这里？
I didn't realize till I got home. I wasn't gonna walk back with one shoe. 我回到家才发现 我才不要光着一只脚再回来
I'll go find that guy's car and leave a note on the windshield. 我要去找那辆车，然后留言
When he comes back for his keys, I'll give him your shoe. 等他来了我会把你的鞋子给他
Great. Thanks. 太好了，谢谢
Oh,good. You guys are here. Listen. 太好了，你们在这里
How would you like to spend tomorrow taking care of three cute puppies? 明天要不要一起照顾 三只超可爱的小狗？
My God! What a fun day! Sounds great! 好棒喔，听起来好好玩
Yeah,all right. 好吧
I'll bring them by tomorrow morning. 好，我明早带他们过来
By the way,they're not actually puppies. 对了，其实不是小狗
They're Frank and Alice's triplets. See you. 是法兰克的三胞胎，好，再见
What? 什么？
Please,please,please? Frank and Alice... 拜托拜托拜托…
asked me to baby-sit them. I'm nervous. I've never done that. 他们托我带小孩，我好紧张 我没有一个人带过小孩
Don't worry. We'll do it. 放心，我们一定会帮忙
I'm gonna pass,because I was kind of iffy when it was puppies. 我就不了 是狗狗时我就很犹豫了
Come on,Chandler. It'll give us great practice for when... 好啦，这是练习的好机会…
people with babies come to visit. 总会有客人带小孩来
不是那辆
So I still have boxes here. 这里还有我的东西
I still have boxes at Ross'. 罗斯家也有我的东西
And I have nowhere to live. 而我却没地方住
I could so easily freak out right now. 我现在应该要捉狂才对
What about me? Denise is leaving town for a while. I don't have a roommate. 那我呢？我刚发现 狄妮丝要出远门，我没室友了
Well,maybe I could be your roommate,Phoebe. 也许我可以当你的室友
Maybe you could be my roommate! 也对
Well,there's an idea! 有办法了 没错
That would be great! 太好了！
-How long is Denise gone for? -She said she'd be back December 26th. 狄妮丝要去多久？ 她说她12月26日回来
December 26th. 12月26日
Maybe she's Santa Claus. 也许她是圣诞老公公
Oh,look who it is. My husband,the apple of my eye. 看，是我老公，我的心肝宝贝
Okay,I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2... 我已经约好明天2点出庭
and I picked up all the forms. 表格也都拿了
I'll take care of it. 我会搞定
Sure,if you say you'll take care of it,I have no reason to doubt you. 当然，既然你说你会搞定 我当然没理由怀疑你
Give me those forms. 拿来啦
I'm gonna do this my way and I don't wanna hear a peep out of you. 我要照我的方式去做 你不准叽叽歪歪
-Okay, Rach,but.. -You're peeping! 好，但是… 你在叽叽歪歪喔
Ross,I just got.. 你知道吗？我实在是…
-Why did you do this? -I told you.. 你为什么要这样？ 我说过…
I don't wanna hear "three failed marriages." 我不想听三次失败的婚姻
If you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand. 如果你失败过两次就会了解了
Thanks to you, I'm halfway there. 多亏你，我现在只差一次
Oh,I am so mad,Ross! I don't think I've ever been this angry! 我快气死了 我从来没有这么气过
What about when I said we were on a break? 我说我们分手了那次呢？
-Nice car. -Yeah,it's not mine. 好车 不是我的
-I love your car. -Yeah,it's mine. 我喜欢你的车 它是…我的
-I bet it's fast. -Me too. Yeah. 一定很能跑 我想也是
And comfortable. 而且很舒服
-You like leather seats? -Yeah. 你喜欢皮椅吗？ 喜欢
It's got them! 它有皮椅
Phoebe,how's it going? 菲比，你那边怎样？
I'm okay. Are they having fun? Am I talking too fast? 还好，蛮不错的 你觉得他们开心吗？ 我讲话太快了吗？
No. You sound like me. 不会，跟我差不多
It's going great. Look at Chandler with Little Baby Girl Chandler. 一切都很好 你看钱德和小女生钱德
Little Baby Girl Chandler. Where have I heard that before? Oh,Coach Rubin. 小女生钱德，我在哪里听过？ 对了，鲁本教练
Phoebe,when you're done over there, we've got a situation over here too. 菲比，等你那边忙完 我们这里也有状况
No. We are all responsible for our own babies. 不行，自己的小孩自己顾
That's where you're wrong. We've been playing them man-to-man. 那你就错了 我们一直采取人盯人战术
We should really be playing a zone defense. 但我们应该打区域联防
What do you mean? 什么意思？
Things'll go smoother if we each have a zone. Phoebe,be in charge of wiping. 我觉得一人守一区会比较顺畅 菲比，你可以负责擦屁屁
Mon,be in charge of diapering. 摩妮卡，你负责包尿布
I'll be in charge of looking at how cute they are when they put their hands... 我就负责看他们捉着我的手…
Sounds great, but you should be in charge of wiping. 好主意，也许你才应该擦屁屁
Okay,I'm a rookie. I should not be in the end zone. 我是菜鸟，不该守球门区
This is so great. This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant. 真好，餐厅都这样准备餐点的
Yeah? Well, this is not what I ordered. 是吗？我可不是点这个
Hey,guys. 大家好
Hey,babies. 宝宝们好
I'm having the best morning. 早上真过瘾
That Porsche I've got the keys to? Still there. 那辆保时捷还在
Shocking, since you still have the keys. 不会吧，毕竟钥匙在你手上
You should see the treatment I get with that car. 你应该看看大家对我的态度
People are friendly. They wanna talk. And not just about the car. 每个人都很友善，找我聊天 而且不只是聊车子
One guy advised me on my equity investments. 还有人教我投资策略
What equity investments? 什么投资？
The ones that got me the Porsche. Will you keep up? 赚到保时捷的股票投资 你跟上好吗？
If people see me just standing there, they're gonna think I don't own it. 但要是我光杵在那里 别人会觉得那不是我的车
So I figure I'll wash it. Monica, you got a bucket and soap? 所以我要洗车 摩妮卡，你有水桶和肥皂吗？
Oh,yeah. I got soap and sponges and rags... 有，我有肥皂、海绵、抹布
and carnauba wax and polishing compound. 亮光腊和打腊工具组
You don't even have a car. 你根本没有车
I know. Once there was a dirty car in front of the building,so I washed it. 对，但楼下停过一辆很脏的车 我就把它给洗了
-And? -And six others. 还有呢？ 还有另外六辆
There you are. 这就对了
Yeah,she tops out at 130. 它可以飙到130
That's just in the city. I get her up to 160 upstate. 这还是市内 到了郊外可以轧到160
Really? You got a place upstate? 是吗？你在郊外有房子？
Sure. 当然
-All right. See you later. -Okay. Take it easy. 改天见 好，慢走
Hey. That's my car. 喂？那是我的车
Really? 是吗？
Just give me five more minutes. 再给我5分钟
What are you doing? 你在干什么？
I found the keys and now I'm just polishing her up. 我检到钥匙，现在在帮它打腊
-But it's my car. -Yeah,but it's my wax. 但这是我的车 这是我的腊
Listen,I don't come to the city much. 听着，我很少进市区
I don't know if you're crazy or if this is some street theater... 我不知道你是疯子 还是在演街头剧
but could I have my keys? 但请把钥匙还给我
Sure. Yeah. I'll save your parking spot. 拿去 我帮你占车位
I'm not coming back. 我不回来了
-Why not? -I live upstate. 为什么？ 我住在郊外
Yeah,so did I. 是啊，我本来也是
I don't know why I was so nervous... 我之前不晓得在紧张什么
and why Frank and Alice complain. This is easy. 法兰克他们为什么会抱怨 带孩子太容易了
Yeah, two hours, a lifetime, that's the same. 是啊，2小时和一辈子一样
Check it out! When the babies wake up... 你们看 宝宝醒来后
they can meet Krog! 可以认识克洛格
That thing could put someone's eye out. 你在干什么？那个东西会害人
He can do more than that. He can destroy the universe. 不只，他还能毁灭宇宙
They could swallow one of those little parts. 不，宝宝可能会误食那些零件
Also,look at his smooth area. That's just gonna mess them up. 而且那个光滑的部位 会误导他们
It's just not an appropriate toy for 1-year-olds. Or 30-year-olds. 这种玩具不适合1岁的宝宝 和30岁的男人
They won't swallow anything. You're too overprotective. 他们才不会误食什么 你们这叫保护过度
When I was a kid,my mom used to throw me into a pile of broken glass. 我小时候 我妈都把我扔在碎玻璃堆里
-What? -Glass, sand, whatever. 什么？ 玻璃，沙子，还不都一样嘛
Look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep. 小莱丝莉边睡边伸懒腰
Oh,it's so cute. 好可爱喔
I wonder when you stop putting both legs behind your head. 不知道要到几岁 才没办法把腿举到头上
I can still do that. 我现在还是可以
How are you still single? 你怎么会还没结婚？
I thought about it and maybe you're right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy. 好吧，我想或许你们说得对 或许克洛格不够安全
-What made you change your mind? -I swallowed his sonic blaster gun. 你为什么改口了？ 我吞了音波死光枪
How did that happen? 怎么会这样？
I was trying to prove that I was right. 我想证明我是对的
And it turns out I was wrong... 结果我错了
and now it's lodged in my throat. 现在它卡在我的喉咙里
This whole time we were concentrating on the babies... 真是的，我们光顾着带小孩
and no one was watching Chandler! 都忘了要看着钱德
You are asking the court for an annulment? 两位要申请注销婚姻？
Yes, Your Honor. Here are our forms, all filled out. 是的，申请表都填好了
So based on your petition... 根据申请书所言
you are seeking an annulment on the grounds... 你申请注销的理由是
that "Mr. Geller is mentally unstable." 盖勒先生的精神状况不稳定
Fine. I'm mentally unstable. 好，我精神状况不稳定
And based on the fact that "Mr. Geller is an intravenous drug user." 而且他使用静脉注射***
-What? -Yes. Heroin and crack. 什么？ 是的，***与快克
Crack isn't even an intravenous drug. 快克根本不是静脉注射***
Well,you would know. 你当然了解了
Now, it also says here that you... 这上面还说...
"lied about your sexual preference before marriage." 你在婚前隐瞒性向
Oh,come on. 拜托
Ross,please. I found the magazines. 罗斯，我发现那些杂志了
And finally,that you were "unable to consummate the marriage." 还有你无法履行夫妻间的义务
Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin. 这也难怪，你是同志 又上瘾***
You know, I'm sorry, this is insane. 很抱歉，这太夸张了
I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay and there is no problem... 我没有上瘾*** 我不是同志
with my ability to consummate anything. 我履行什么都没问题
I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now! 我现在就可以在这里履行
That won't be necessary. 没有这个必要
And when we were dating, we consummated like bunnies. 我们交往时简直跟兔子有得拼
If you were involved in a serious relationship, that creates a problem. 如果你们曾经认真交往 那就有问题了
Rest assured, that relationship ended two years ago. 大人，我们2年前就分手了
Strike "consummated like bunnies" from the record. 可以删掉“跟兔子有得拼”吗
Is there anything in this record that is actually true? 这份申请书有任何实言吗？
Well, yes. We got married in Vegas. 有，我们确实在***结婚
And the names,I think. 名字应该也没错
That's not the way the legal system works. 这样不符合法律程序
This process is based on an objective review of the facts, not of the lies. 申请注销得根据客观事实 而不是谎言
Objection! 抗议
-It doesn't work like that either. -Overruled. 这样也不合程序 驳回
Oh,stop it. 别闹了
Based on what I've heard, you certainly don't qualify for an annulment. 从刚才的话听来 两位不符合注销资格
If you don't wanna be together, file for divorce. 如果你们不想在一起 就必须办理离婚
That's great. You happy? Look what you did with your funny, funny form. 太好了，你高兴了吗？ 都是你的搞笑表格害的
What? Me? What about you and your "consummated like bunnies" nonsense? 我？你那句跟兔子有得拼呢？
What are you typing that for? She said we don't get the annulment. 那…你打什么打？ 你听到没？我们不能办注销了
Don't type that. What.. 不要打
Stop typing! 别再打了
Stop typing! 别再打了
"Stop typing, stop typing!" 别打了！别打了
Okay, do you see what you're keeping me married to? 你看你让我嫁的是什么人？
Get out of my chambers. 请两位离开我的办公室
Lady, here's the deal. 好，你给我听着
I came here for an annulment and I'm not leaving here until I get one! 我是来办注销的 没办成我绝对不走
-Would you like a night in jail? -Thank you for your time. 你们想在牢里过夜吗？ 耽误您了
That Porsche guy took his car back. 保时捷的主人把车开走了
But you found the keys to his clothes? 但你检到他的衣橱钥匙？
No, I just love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche. 不是，我只是喜欢 大家以为我有保时捷的感觉
They'll think you own one because of the clothes? 你穿这样别人就会以为你有？
Of course. 那当然
Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car. 白痴才会没车还穿成这样
That is true. 那倒是
Yeah,but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun. 不过只有天才 才会误食音波死光枪
Oh,I've been there. 我也误食过
I am gonna go drive my Porsche. 我要去开我的保时捷了
You know you don't actually have one. 乔伊，你知道你没有保时捷吧
What are you doing? I'm in character. Will you talk to her? 拜托，你搞什么？ 我正在入戏，你说说她，好吗
I think it just moved. It's poking me. 它动了，现在真的好刺
We'll go to the emergency room. 够了，我们去挂急诊
No, you can't leave me here with them. We're babysitting. 什么？你们不能把我扔给他们 我们正在带孩子
The babies are asleep. You'll be okay on your own. 宝宝都睡了 你撑一下一定没问题
You can't leave me with them. We're a team. 但你们不能把我扔给他们 我们是一队的
We're playing a zone. They'll triple-team me! 在打区域联防 他们会以三打一
He's got plastic in his throat. We gotta go to the hospital. 他的喉咙卡了个塑胶玩具 我们非去医院不可
But a doctor won't be able to help him. And it's just gonna... 但医生也帮不了他
naturally pass through his system in seven years. 反正过个7年就会自动排出
-I think that's gum. -I'm pretty sure it's gun. 那是口香糖 我确定是死光枪
This really hurts. Let's go. 真的很痛，我们走吧
But no! A real man wouldn't just run to the hospital. 男子汉才不会冲去医院
No! What would Krog do? 克洛格会怎么做？
Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche? 泊车小弟怎么还没 把我的保时捷开来？
Maybe because you've got the keys? 因为钥匙在你手上吗？
保时捷
-That was totally your fault. -My fault? You threatened the judge. 都是你的错 我的错？你威胁法官
You ripped the paper out of the court reporter's machine! 你把书记员的打字纸撕下来
That was the only way I could get him to stop typing! 那样才能阻止他打下去
Hi. How are the Gellers? 盖勒夫妇好吗？
Don't call us that. 不准那样叫我们
The judge wouldn't let us get an annulment. Now we gotta get a divorce! 法官不准我们办注销 我们得去办离婚
Did a Porsche throw up on you? 你被保捷附身了吗？
It's "Porsche-a"! 是保时捷
Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? 我完全可以照顾你们对吧？
You guys feel safe, right? 你们觉得很安心吧？
I'm gonna take that spit bubble as a "Yeah,I do!" 吐泡泡就表示“安心”
Let's get rid of this dirty diaper. I'll set you up with a clean one. 我扔了脏尿布 就帮你换一块干净的
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. 抱歉，我不是故意的 我得先清理一下
Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's. 这是摩妮卡的家
I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way things go. 破了，反正东西迟早都会坏
Okay. Good. 好，就这样
Why are there only two of you? 为什么只剩两个？
Where's Leslie? 莱丝莉呢？
Well, you can't answer. Leslie? Where are you, Leslie? 你们不会说话 莱丝莉？你在哪里？
Now would be a good time for your first words. 莱丝莉 现在是开口说话的好时机
Well, look at you! 你看看你
You are a little bit mischievous. My gosh! 你有点皮喔，真是的
Oh, you're a lot mischievous. 是非常皮
Well, it'll dry. 反正会干
You sit with your brother and sister now... 去跟哥哥妹妹躺在一起…
who aren't there. 他们不在
How do you feel? 你还好吗？
Let's just say Krog will be equipped to destroy the universe again... 克洛格就又能毁灭宇宙了
in 12 to 14 hours. 再过12到14小时
I totally took care of the babies all by myself. 我一个人把孩子都带好了
I fed them,bathed them and put them to bed. 喂奶、洗澡、哄他们睡觉
And protected them from a tornado? 还保护他们躲过龙卷风？
Oh,my God! 我的天哪
I know. The babies are asleep. 对啊，宝宝都睡了
Phoebe, what happened here? 菲比，家里是怎么了？
I did it. I took care of the babies all by myself. 我做到了，我一个人照顾宝宝
-But my apartment! -Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph. 但是我的房子 是菲比胜利的战场
But the mess! 但是这一团乱
Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies. 比起菲比的辛劳实在不算什么
You're right. I shouldn't freak out. 你说得对，我不该大惊小怪
This is what it'll be like when we have babies. When's that? 等我们有了孩子也会这样 那是什么时候呢？
Phoebe, look at this mess! 菲比，你看你弄得多乱
Oh,honey. Thank God you're home. I was getting worried. 亲爱的，你总算回来了 我都开始担心了
I picked up the divorce papers. 我去领了离婚证书
I've already signed everything. I put little X's where you need to sign. 该签的我都签了 你要签的地方我也画了叉
Little X's. Great! That makes up for everything. 画叉，真好 这样就前嫌尽释了
You know, you've done a lot of stupid stuff too, okay? 我…你也干过很多蠢事好吗
Name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one. 有哪一件跟这次一样蠢
How about you flew to London to stop my wedding? 你飞去伦敦阻止我结婚怎么说
You told me you loved me after I was married. 我已经结婚了，你还说你爱我
Wait,that was different. I did those things because I was in love with you. 慢着，那不一样 我做那些事是因为我爱你
Right. 正是
You're right. That's very different. 你说得对，的确很不一样
So let's just sign the papers. 总之赶快签一签吧
What? 怎样？
Nothing. 没事
Okay, can we just sign, please? 请签名
Congratulations. 恭喜你
Okay, wait,Ross. Wait a minute. 罗斯，等一下
I kind of have a little confession. 我有件事要坦白
What? 什么事？
Well, you know, this whole marriage thing. 结婚这件事
Kind of my idea. 算是我的主意
Excuse me? 什么？
Remember how we were too drunk to remember anything when we were married? 当时我们不是醉到什么都想不起来
Yeah？ 怎样？
I didn't really wanna say anything, but it just kept coming back to me. 我很不想说 但是我的记忆一直回来
We were in the casino and you thought it'd be funny to eat a lot of grapes. 记不记得我们在赌场 你突然觉得狂吃葡萄会很好玩
And I thought it would be funnier if we got married. 然后我觉得我们结婚会更好玩
So as a compromise we decided first to get married and then... 于是我们折衷，先去结婚
to eat a lot of grapes. 再去吃很多葡萄
Sorry I got us into this whole thing. 抱歉惹出这些麻烦
So then if you think about it... 所以仔细想想
this is all your fault. 这一切都是你的错
Yeah, don't push it, though. 不要得寸进尺
I gotta say... 我知道...
I know I divorce a lot of women. 我跟很多人离过婚
Never thought I'd be divorcing you. 却从来没想过会跟你离婚
I know. 是啊
I always thought if we got married, that'd be the one that stuck. 我总觉得要是我们结婚 一定会天长地久
And it wouldn't be a secret... 不会是秘密结婚
and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. 也不会在必胜客吃酒席
Did I even treat? 我有请客吗？
No, it was on the house. It was a newlywed special. 没有，那是免费的 新婚夫妇特惠
That may be the most depressing thing I've heard. 我没听过这么令人沮丧的事
I should get these to my lawyer's office. 我去律师那里送件
Thanks for taking care of all this. 谢谢你把事情都办妥
No problem. 不客气
-I'm gonna need a copy of those. -Totally. 我要一份副本 没问题
Careful around my Porsche! 别在我的保时捷旁边乱跑
Hi,Joey. 乔伊
Hey. How you doing? 你们好吗？
He has the most amazing Porsche under there. 他有一辆最拉风的保时捷
I'd show you,but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. 我很想给你们看 但我刚哄到她睡着
Would you like to go for a drink? 要不要去喝杯酒？