Chandler! Chandler! 钱德！钱德
I saw what you were doing in the window! 钱德，我从窗户看见了
I saw what you're doing to my sister! Get out here! 我看见你在对我妹做什么了 你给我出来
Listen,we had a good run. 听着，我们玩得很开心
What was it? Four,five months? 总共4个月？5个月？
That's more than most people have in a lifetime. Goodbye. 比很多人一辈子加起来都久 再见，保重，再见了
-What are you doing? -I am going on the lam. 你干什么？ 我要落跑
Come on,Chandler. I can handle Ross. 过来，我应付得了罗斯
Hold on! 等一下
Hey,Ross. What's up,bro? 罗斯老哥，你好吗？
What the hell are you doing? 你干了什么好事？
What's going on? 发生什么事了？
I think Ross knows about me and Monica. 我想… 罗斯发现我和摩妮卡的事了
Dude,he's right there. 他人就在那里
I thought you were my best friend! This is my sister! 我以为你是我最好的朋友 这是我妹妹
My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this! 我最要好的朋友和我妹妹 我真不敢相信
We're not just messing around. I love her. 我们不是玩玩而已，我爱她
I'm in love with her. 我爱着她
I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. 抱歉让你这样发现
I'm sorry, but it's true. I love him too. 对不起，但是真的，我也爱他
My best friend and my sister! 我最要好的朋友和我妹妹
I cannot believe this! 我真不敢相信
You guys want to probably get some hugs in too. Big news! 你们也想抱抱吧？大消息喔
We've actually known for a while. 我们知道一阵子了
What? You guys knew? 什么？你们知道？
You all knew and you didn't tell me? 你们都知道，却没告诉我？
We were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react. 我们很担心你 不知道你会有什么反应
You were worried about me? 你们担心我？
You didn't know how I'd react? 不知道我会有什么反应？
Okay. All right. 好吧
Let's clear out of here and let these lovebirds get back to business. 我们要不要清个场 让这对小情人继续办事？
I'm just talking here. He's the one doing your sister. 我只是说说，上你妹妹的是他
The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey 本集播出：“情海生波”

“中央咖啡馆”
You know what I just realized? 你们猜我想到什么
If you guys have kids 要是你们生了小孩…
We're having kids? 我们生小孩？
I call godfather! 教父是我的
You can't just call godfather. 哪能这样用说的
Shouldn't her brother be godfather? 你不觉得应该由她哥哥当吗？
Sure. If you cared enough to call it first. 当然，你有心就应该先喊
-You're a few steps ahead of us. -Big zero gravity moon steps. 你们想得太远了 十万八千里的远
I just thought of the greatest wedding gift. 我刚想到一样最棒的结婚礼物
I'll go in on that with you. I couldn't decide. 我跟你送，我什么都想不到
Hey,Katie. 凯蒂
This is Katie. 各位，这是凯蒂
You ready to go? 可以走了吗？
I'll run to the bathroom. 可以，我先上个厕所 往后走
Where's lunch? 我们午餐要吃什么？
I was thinking Chinese food. 我想吃中国菜
I love Chinese! 我最爱吃中国菜了
How did you know I love Chinese? 你怎么知道我爱吃中国菜？
She is so cute. 她真可爱，
You could fit her in your pocket. 可以塞进口袋里
She could fit in that little pocket inside the pocket. 可以塞进口袋的小口袋里
I don't know. I like her a lot, and she's really nice,but.... 我不知道，我很喜欢她 她人很好，但是…
But what? 但是怎样？
She keeps punching me. 她老爱打我
In the cute,little sweet way she just did? 用她刚才那种可爱的方式？
It's a lot harder than it looks. 力道比表面上大多了，好吗？
She's hurting me. 她把我打痛了
I know what you need. You need a bodyguard. 我知道了，你需要保镖
What is Ben doing after preschool? 罗斯，班下课之后有事吗？
Joey is having a problem. A little girl is beating him up. 别这样，乔伊有烦恼 他被个小女孩揍了
Joey,come here. 乔伊，过来
Honey,I know. This must be really difficult for you,and 我知道你一定非常难受…
I'm sorry,am I hurting you? 抱歉，我握痛你了吗？
I brought you some housewarming gifts. 我带了乔迁之礼来
Salt, so your life always has flavor. 盐，让你的生活有味
Bread, so you never go hungry. 面包，让你永不饥饿
And a scented candle for the bathroom. 浴室用香精蜡烛
Because,well,you know. 你知道的
Thanks. Thanks. And thanks,I guess. 谢谢，谢谢…再次感谢
Welcome. I'm Steve Cera, president of the tenants' committee. 欢迎你搬进来 我是史提夫沙拉，管委会主席
Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe. 你好，我是罗斯盖勒 这是我朋友菲比
Mr. President. 你好 主席先生
I came to talk to you about Howard. 我来跟你谈霍华的事
He is the handyman who's retiring next week. 霍华？ 他是这里的杂工，下星期退休
Everyone who lives here is kicking in $100 as a kind of a thank you. 这里的住户决定每人交1百元 感谢他多年来的辛劳
That's nice. 真有人情味
Yeah. So, do you want to give me a check? 是啊，所以你想开支票还是…
Not now. You can slip it under my door. 你不必现在给我 你可以塞进我家门口
No,it's not that. 不是那样的
I just moved in. 我才刚搬来
Well,the guy's worked here for 25 years. 他在这里工作了25年
Yes,but I've lived here for 25 minutes. 但我才搬进来25分钟
Okay,I get it. 好，我懂了
Wait! Look, I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. 等等，我很抱歉 但我甚至没见过霍华
I mean, I don't know Howard. 我不认识霍华
Howard's the handyman. 霍华是杂务工人
Yes,but to me,he's just "man." 但对我来说他只是个人
Okay. Fine. Whatever. 好，随便
Welcome to the building. 欢迎你搬进来
Can you believe that guy? 真是有够扯的
I really like his glasses. 是啊，我很喜欢他的眼镜
So then President Steve told everyone I was a cheapskate... 史提夫主席逢人就说我吝啬
...and now the whole building hates me. 现在整栋楼的人都讨厌我
A little kid spit on my knee. 有小孩朝我的膝盖吐口水
And told me to wipe it off with my $100 bill. 还叫我用百元大钞去擦
You really should wipe it off with something. 你是该擦一下
You know what? 你们猜怎样？
I'll throw a party. For everyone in the building. 我要办一场派对 邀请整栋楼的人
And I'll sit them all down and explain that I am not a bad guy. 我要请他们坐下，告诉他们 我不是坏人
I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy... 不是吝啬 我只是个...
...who stands up for what he believes in. ...坚持理念
A man with principles. 有原则的人
Sounds like a fun party. 听起来真好玩
If you want them to like you, why don't you just pay the $100? 罗斯，如果你希望邻居喜欢你 为什么不付钱算了？
The party will cost you more. 办一场派对更花钱
That doesn't matter! 那不重要
It's my principles! We're talking about my principles! 这是原则问题 重点是我的原则
I thought it was about your neighbors liking you. 好，我以为重点是讨邻居喜欢
They'll like me once they come to my awesome party. 等他们参加过我的派对 就会喜欢我了
I gotta get some nametags. 我得走了，我要去买名牌
And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law. 那个派对动物会是你的大舅子
Very funny. But don't say that to Monica. 真幽默，但别对着摩妮卡讲
Don't put any ideas in her head. 别让她有那些念头
You do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head? 钱德，你应该知道 她可能本来就有那种念头了
Why? 为什么？
Well,because she loves you and because you love her. 因为她爱你，你也爱她
Yeah,so? What's that supposed to mean? 那又怎样呢？
Don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know. 你不要被吓到 我只是在讲你知道的事
She left Richard because he didn't want to have babies. 她因理查不要小孩而跟他分手
And she is a woman. And she's almost 30. And, you know, it's Monica. 她是个女人，快30了 而且她是摩妮卡
I don't see it that way. I see two Monicas. 我不是那样看的 我看到两个摩妮卡
My friend who lives across the hall and wants a lot of babies. 朋友的摩妮卡住在对面 想生一大堆小孩
And the new Monica who I started to date. 另一个新的摩妮卡刚跟我交往
Now,who is to say what she wants? 谁晓得她想要什么？
I'm right. 我说得没错
Am I right? 我说得没错吧？
Oh,absolutely. 当然
I'm completely different from Richard. 而且情况完全不同
He's an eye doctor, and I don't wear glasses. 理查是眼科医生 我连眼镜都没戴
You're right. 你说得对
You're absolutely right. That makes everything different. 你说得一点也没错 情况确实完全不同
It's not different,is it? 一点也没有不同对吧？
Not unless different means "the same." 除非不同等于一样
You were so funny with that waiter. You're such a nut! 你跟那个服务生好逗喔 你真是个疯子
You know,bread-stick fangs are always funny. 扮吸血鬼本来就好笑
No,you make them funny. You're the funny one! 是你让它变好笑的，是你好笑
Look,Katie. Listen, we need to talk, okay? 凯蒂，我们得沟通一下
Look,I like you. I really do. I like you a lot. 我喜欢你，我真的很喜欢你
But sometimes when you playfully punch me like that... 但当你开玩笑打我
...it feels like I'm being hit with a very tiny but a very real bat! 感觉就像被一根很小 但很结实的球棒打到
Like I could hurt you. 我哪能把你打痛
Are you making fun of my size? 你在取笑我的身材吗？
Don't make fun of me because of my size! 不要取笑我的身材
Isn't this great? 这种感觉真好
Couldn't you just stay like this forever? 真想永远这样
Couldn't you just stay here forever? 钱德？你想不想永远这样？
Yeah, here, somewhere else. You know,wherever. 这样，那样，哪样都可以
Are you okay? 你还好吗？
I'm cool. 我很好
Casual. 很随性
What are you doing? 你在干什么？
Just hanging out. Having fun with the girl that I'm seeing casually. 只是随便混混玩玩 跟你随性的交往
Man,I knew it! I knew you'd do this. 我就知道，我就知道你会这样
What? 怎样？
Get all freaked out because everybody was joking about marriage! 被大家讨论和开玩笑的事吓到
Well,you do want all that stuff,right? 你的确想要那些事吧？
You know what I want? 你知道我想要什么？
Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever! 没错，你想要小孩 你有孩子狂
I do not have baby fever! 我才没有孩子狂
You're obsessed with babies and marriage... 拜托，你超迷恋小孩和婚姻
...and everything that's related to babies and marriage. 和一切跟小孩和婚姻有关的事
Why don't we turn the heat down on this pressure cooker! 我有个提议 让这个压力锅减压一下吧
Have you lost your mind? 你疯了吗？
This isn't about me. This is about you and your weird commitment crap! 这不是我的问题 是你不敢做出承诺
I know you. I know the thoughts that you have in your head. 少来，我暸解你 我知道你脑袋里在想什么
You don't know everything. 你并非什么都知道
Did you know I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? 你知道我今晚要跟瑞秋出去吗
And that the only baby here is you? 你知道最幼稚的是你吗？
Did you know I can't even look at you now? 你知道我连看都不想看你吗？
I did not know that. 那我倒是不知道
It'll be okay, right? She won't leave me. This is fixable. 不会有事吧？她不会离开我吧 这是可以解决的
-Yeah,sure. -Absolutely. 当然
By me? 我可以解决?
Unless you make some big gesture. 除非你有大动作
Big,though. 要非常大
The missus! 女主角来了
Gunther, can I get a coffee? 阿甘，我要一杯咖啡
To go. 外带
I still don't want to talk to you. 我还不想跟你说话
Tell me how to make things right. 告诉我怎样弥补
That's what we do. 什么？ 我们都这样
I mess up,you tell me how to fix it and I do. 我做错事 你教我怎么补救，我补救完
And then you think I'm cute again. 你又觉得我很可爱
I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. 我不想再当你的爱情指导了
Figure this out for yourself. 这次你得自己想，好吗？
If you're afraid of a real relationship... 如果你懒得好好经营感情
...then don't be in one. 就别谈感情
（欢迎）
（罗斯）
（盖勒博士）
Howard! Howard! Howard! 霍华、霍华…
菲比？菲比
Hi,Ross! 罗斯
What are you doing here? 你在干什么？
I thought this was your party, and it's a party for Howard. 我以为这是你的派对 结果是替霍华办的派对
He's the sweetest little man. 他真是个老可爱
See you,Phoebe. And thanks for chipping in. 菲比再见，谢谢你出钱
Oh,sure. 不客气
You chipped in? 你出了钱？
Yeah,$100. 对，1百块钱
I can't believe you gave him money. 你居然给他们钱
I thought you agreed it was unreasonable that they asked me for that money. 你不是也同意他们要我出钱 是很不合理的？
But they didn't ask me. 对，但他们没有要我出
I'm just the exotic,generous stranger. That's always fun to be. 当性感大方的陌生人最好玩了
But you're making me look bad. 但你让我很难看
No,I'm not! If anything, I'm making you look better. 谁说的，我是在帮你加分
They'll see you talking to me. I'm a hit. 他们会看见你在跟我说话 我又很红
Hey,Phoebe! 菲比
Hey,Ross. 罗斯，
Maybe you two could switch apartments. 你们或许可以交换住处
Because Phoebe is more our kind of people. 菲比跟我们比较搭轧
Think about it. 你考虑一下
Okay,my bad. 是我不好
You look big. 哇，你看起来好壮
Thanks,I've been working out. 谢谢，最近有在练
Listen,is it obvious I'm wearing six sweaters? 看得出来我穿六件毛衣吗？
Yeah. But it's not obvious why. 看得出来，但看不出来为什么
I'm breaking up with Katie, so I put on some extra padding. 我要跟凯蒂分手 所以得多加几层护垫
If she hits me when she is happy, can you imagine how hard she'll hit... 她平常高兴就会打我 现在我要收回乔伊之爱
...when I take away the Joey love? 她岂不是打得更用力？
Oh,right. I forgot that you call it that. 我都忘记你的乔伊之爱了
Hey,cute jacket. 好可爱的外套
Thanks. 谢谢
-That's so sweet! -Ouch! 你真好
Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys are too much! 是乔伊要你叫的吗？ 你们真是够了
You know what? I gotta tell you... 你知道吗？说真的
...I think you're the one that is too much. 我觉得你才够了
Joey has the nicest friends. 乔伊的朋友真棒
And the nicest girlfriend. 女朋友更棒
You're so sweet! 你真好
You're so sweet! 你才好
She just kicked me. 乔伊，她踢我
Aren't you going to do something? 你不替我出头吗？
Do something or I'll walk out that door right now. 你最好替我出头 否则我现在就走人
Are you going to? 你要不要？
不要
Phoebe? 菲比
That's what I'm saying. 我就是这个意思
Phoebe? Phoebe? 菲比？菲比
This is a disaster. Can't I please just go? 这真是人间地狱 我走了好不好？
I'm talking you up to people. 不行，我正在帮你说好话
Give it some time, relax. Get something to eat. 再等一下下 放轻松，拿东西吃，好吗？
What did you tell them about me? 你跟他们说了什么？
I told them about you and Emily. Trying to get some sympathy. 我说了你和艾蜜莉的事 好争取同情心
But you came off as the bad guy. 但讲一讲你成了坏人
Yeah, I think I told it wrong. 我想我说的方式不对
We should talk about that because I don't understand what happened there. 我们应该先聊聊 我不太知道前因后果
This cake is really good! 这个蛋糕真好吃
Things are looking up. 看吧？情况已经在好转了
Oh,my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! 天哪，有人切了霍华的蛋糕
Who would do a thing like that? 谁会做这种低级的事？
3B. 3B
You got your free food. You ruined everyone's fun. 你白吃白喝，扫了大家的兴
Isn't it time you went home? 是不是该回家了？
Yeah, get out! Now! 没错，快滚
Go back to 3B,3B. 回3B去，3B
Everyone,calm down! I have something that I'd like to say. 大家安静一下，我有话要说
Who here likes Ross? 这里有谁喜欢罗斯？
Of course you don't like him. 你们当然不喜欢他
He didn't give you any money. 他不交钱
He raised his own hand when I asked, "Who likes Ross?" 我问有谁喜欢他，他自己举手
And he's wearing two nametags. 他还贴两个名牌
I'll be honest. When I first met Ross, I didn't like him at all. 老实说，刚开始我也不喜欢他
Once I got to know him, I saw that he is really sweet... 但暸解他之后 我就发现他很好...
...and caring and very generous. ...很大方
All I'm saying is,don't judge Ross before you get to know him. 请不要还不暸解他就论断他
You know,I like all of you guys now. But when I first met you, you know? 我现在很喜欢你们 但是刚见面时
Kurt? I thought, abrasive drunk. 寇特，粗鲁的酒鬼
Lola? 萝拉
Mind-numbingly stupid. 笨得令人傻眼
You guys. Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv. 还有你们 淘金女，老牛吃嫩草的变态
So I think you all know what I mean. 你们懂我的意思吧
Obviously, I didn't think they would throw things. 我没想到他们会扔东西
I thought if I kept insulting them you'd defend them. 我想说我一直羞辱他们 你就会跳出来帮他们
Then you'd look like the hero. 你就可以变成英雄 对喔
See,I did not get that. 太深奥了
Where's Monica? I need to talk to her, it's urgent. 摩妮卡呢？我有急事找她 她在吗？
I'm Monica. 我就是摩妮卡
I need to talk to you. It's urgent. 我有急事要找你 好
I've been thinking... 我想了很多...
...about us. A lot of "us" thinking. 我们的事… 你和我的事
I guess there's only one way to do this. 我猜只有一个办法
What are you doing? 你要干什么？
Don't do it. 摩妮卡… 拜托不要
Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗？
What a bad idea. 毁了 什么馊主意
I can't not look at it. 我不敢看
Why are you doing this? 钱德，你为什么要这样？
I don't know. 我不知道
But I know I'm not afraid to do this. 但是我知道我不怕
I'm doing this because I'm sorry? 钱德 因为我很抱歉？
Do you think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry? 你真的觉得结婚的最好理由 是因为你很抱歉？
The best reason is pregnancy. 不，最好的理由是奉子成婚
Sorry is fourth,behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. 抱歉大约排第四 在准备好了跟真的想结婚后面
Will you be my wife? 你愿意做我的妻子吗？
I want you to take a minute and think about how ridiculous this sounds. 钱德，你先静下来 想想这件事有多荒谬
I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here now. 我的确有点希望他们都不在
None of that came from me. 这些事都不是我扯出来的
I never said I wanted to have babies and get married! 我从来没说现在就想结婚生子
I was really confused. Then I talked to these guys. 但我真的很乱 后来又跟他们谈过
Who? Two divorces and Joey? 离婚两次的人和乔伊？
She's right,you know? 她说得对
Yeah,but still, cheap shot! 但这种奚落算什么？
You know when I said that I want you... 你知道吗？
...to deal with relationship stuff all on your own? 我不是要你自己想该怎么做?
You're not ready. 你还做不到这一点
I didn't think I was! 我也这么认为
Oh,my God. 天哪
What would you have done if I had said yes? 要是我答应了呢？
I would've been happy because... 那我会很开心
...I would spend the rest of my life with the woman I love. 能跟心爱的人共度下半生
Or you would have seen a Chandler-shaped hole in that door. 又或者你会在那扇门上 看到我的人形洞
Will you pass that knife? 罗斯，请把刀子给我
No,I will not. 我才不要
You don't have to be mean about it. 你不必这么凶吧
You're right. I'm sorry. Will you marry me? 你说得对，对不起 嫁给我好吗？
I was going to ask you to marry me because I didn't say hello to you. 我正想向你求婚 因为我上星期忘了跟你打招呼
Or ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure. Chandler? 那种情况应该只需要同居 但我也不确定，钱德？
How long is this going to go on? 好，我还要被笑多久？
I think the length of teasing... 那得看...
...is directly related to how insane you were. So a long time. ...你做的事有多扯 所以…会很久
This is fun! 真好玩
Remember that "we were on a break" thing? 记得“我们分手了”风波吗？
I'm sorry. Will you marry me? 我很抱歉，嫁给我好吗？
That's not funny. 不好笑 冷死了