It's me. I know you can 't stand to see me. 喂 是我 我知道你不想跟我共处一室
I'm trying to apologize over the phone 我想用电话跟你道歉…
I shouldn't have kissed your girlfriend 我不该亲你的女朋友…
Stop calling! 别再打来了
This is 92.3 WXRK,K-Rock... 这里是92.3摇滚广播电台
...calling with our $ 1000 daily challenge! 您是今天的千元挑战者
All right! 漂亮
What is the name of... 请问...
...your roommate who is very sorry and would do anything? 你那位非常抱歉 愿意尽全力…
-Damn it,Chandler,stop calling. -Joey,it's Ross. 钱德，别再打来了 乔伊，我是罗斯
-Sorry. -It's all right. 对不起 没关系
What's up? 什么事？
Not much. I got Chandler here and he's really,really sorry 也没什么 钱德在我这边，他非常非常…
The One with Chandler in a Box 本集播出：闭关思过
Oh,turkey! 火鸡…
Giving thanks! 说谢谢
Look,everyone. It's the spirit of Thanksgiving! 看，这就是感恩节的精神
Are things with Joey better? 你跟乔伊好一点了吗？
They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him... 糟到不能再糟 我昨晚打了8小时电话给他
...trying to get him to talk to me. 想让他跟我说上一句话
Eight hours. 8小时
You could probably use a plug-in telephone headset. 你应该用得上耳机吧？
Should we all expect Christmas gifts that are stolen from your office? 我们会收到 你从公司偷来的圣诞礼物吗？
You shouldn't. 你不会
Speaking of Christmas.... 讲到圣诞节
Since Monica and I are starting a new business and have no money... 摩妮卡和我刚开业，没有钱
...this year we could do Secret Santa and each only buy one gift. 今年就来抽签互送吧 这样只要买一份礼物
And there's the added mystery of who gets who. 还可以猜猜看谁抽到谁
Who gets whom. 谁抽到“哪个人”
I don't know why I do that. 我是无意识的
But it is correct. 但那样才合文法
Hey,what's this? It's all of your names. 这是什么？ 是你们的名字！
Let's pick. 来抽吧
Hey,what's going? 你们在…
-No,Joey,stay. -We're picking names for Secret Santa. 乔伊，不要走 我们要抽签送礼
Okay. 好啦
I invented Secret Santa,you know. 这个做法是我发明的
What are you laughing at? You're the one who said Die Hard was your idea. 你笑什么？ 你也说“终极警探” 是你的构想
It was. 本来就是
Don't make me show you the napkin. 别逼我把纸巾拿出来
I'm going to take a nap. Turkey makes me sleepy. 我要去睡个觉，火鸡让我爱睏
We haven't eaten yet. 还没吃耶
I know,but all that work you're doing to get it ready and.... 我知道，但你那堆准备过程…
Did you pick Rachel for your Secret Santa? I'll trade for her. 你们有人抽到瑞秋吗？我要换
I picked her. Thank God,you want her! 我抽到她，幸好你要她
Why do you want to get rid of her so badly? 你为什么这么想换掉她？
She exchanges every gift she gets. 因为她收到什么都拿去换
It's impossible to get her something she likes. 要让她满意根本不可能
Come on,let's trade! 来换吧
I got her that backpack and she loved it. 哪有这回事 她很喜欢我送她的背包
I remember she cried when that big dog ran off with 有只大狗把它叼走时 她哭得好…
There was no big dog. 没有什么大狗
This sucks! I already got her a briefcase with "R.G." put on it. 真是的，我已经买了个公事包 还拿去烫了RG
Her initials. 她的姓名缩写
Okay,I'm really bad at initials. 我很不会认缩写
You got your shopping done early. 你今年礼物买得真早
Yeah,well,my Camel Cash was about to expire. 我的礼券快过期了
Maybe you can give it to somebody else. Like Ross Geller! 也许你可以送给别人 像罗斯盖勒（缩写亦为RG）
You know what? It's a girlie briefcase. 那是个女用公事包
Who cares! He works in a museum. 那又怎样，他在博物馆上班
The big game's about to start! 现在几点？球赛要开始了
Ross and Joey aren't here. You can watch the parade if you want. 罗斯乔伊不在，你可以看游行
Thanks. 谢了
What is wrong with this freezer? 这个冷冻库怎么搞的
-What happened? -lce just got in my eye! 怎么了？ 我的眼睛被冰扎到
People are trying to sleep in here! 这里有人要睡觉
Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts! 摩妮卡的眼睛被冰扎到很痛
-Open it up. Let me see. -I can't. It really kills. 张开让我看看 不行，真的很痛
Maybe you should put some ice on it. 也许你应该冰敷
-lt looks bad. -We should take you to a doctor. 好像很严重 去看医生好了
No,my eye doctor is Richard! 不行，我的眼科医生是理查
I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend. 我没有男朋友不能去见他
He's really picky about his patients. 他对病患还真挑剔
You've got to go. What's his office number? 你非去不可 他的诊所电话几号？
Like I remember his office number! 我哪会记得
Speed dial seven. 速拨键七
I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye. 喂，我代表摩妮卡盖勒的眼睛
Is Richard Burke in today? 理查柏克今天在吗？
He's not in. Will she see the on-call doctor? 他不在，她愿意看候诊医师吗
-Yes. -She's very excited about that! 愿意！ 愿意！她非常兴奋
Okay,we'll be right in. 好，我们马上过去
Okay,so who's gonna take her in? 谁要带她去？
I'll go,you can watch your parade. 我来，你去看游行
It's so cool. Till Monica gets back,I'm head chef. 酷毙了 摩妮卡回来之前，我是主厨
And I get to make all the decisions. 我可以做决定
She told you to follow the recipe exactly. 她叫你完全照食谱来
Get out of my kitchen. 滚出我的厨房
I think I'm making some progress with Joey. 好，我跟乔伊有进展了
When I walked in, he went to his bedroom... 我进门时，他走进他的房间
...but he only slammed the door once. 但只摔了一次门
Yeah,he gave me the finger while doing it. 不过摔的时候有比中指
I've got to call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question. 我得问我妈左手烹饪的问题
I'm gonna be in there. 我要进房里去
While I'm gone.... 我不在的时候…
Chandler,you're in charge. 钱德，你负责
I picked Monica for Secret Santa,but I'm getting her something for Hanukkah. 我抽到摩妮卡 但我已经替她买了光明节礼物
You want to switch? 你想换吗？
I was trying to trade... 其实我想换成...
...for you. ...你
Really? That's so nice. What are you getting me? 真的？真好，你要送我什么？
I don't know,R.G. I was thinking something girlie for your office. 不晓得，RG 某种女性化的上班用品吧
Maybe Phoebe will switch with me. 也许菲比会跟我换
Then you'll get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift. 最好不要，那你会抽到瑞秋 她什么礼物都拿去换
No,I got her lots of stuff she never took back. 乱讲 我送她很多东西她都没退
Like? 比如？
Like that gold necklace I got her last year. 像我去年送她的金项链
When did she wear it last? 她上次戴是哪时？
She wore it all Christmas day and then.... 她圣诞节整天都戴着，然后…
Big dog? 大狗？
What are you doing? 你在干什么？
Sending back this stuff Chandler bought. 把钱德因内疚买的东西退回去
-Even the TV? -No,I'll put that in my room. 全部？包括电视？ 不，电视要搬进房里
Listen,Joey. I know what he did was wrong. 乔伊，我知道他做错了
But can't you hear him out? 但你就不能听他解释吗？
If Chandler had kissed Rachel, would you hear him out? 你和瑞秋在一起的时候， 如果钱德吻了瑞秋，你会听他解释么
That's a good point. 说得好
How long you going to punish him? 那你要罚他多久？
Five years. 5年
You've sentenced him? 你还判了刑？
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. 不敢当就不要做
The guy's your best friend. 他是你最要好的朋友
Was my best friend. 曾经是我最好的朋友
I don't know why you're pushing for him. 你干嘛拼命替他说情？
With him out of the way as my best friend,there's a spot open. 少了他碍事 我就没有最要好的朋友了
-Who,me? -Yeah. 我吗？ 对
I'm honored. You know what I'm going to do as your best friend? 我真荣幸 你知道我首先要做什么？
I'm going to get you to talk to Chandler. 拉你去跟钱德说话
All right. 好啦
But if you weren't my best friend.... 若非你是我最好的朋友…
Oh,my God. Is it really that bad? 天哪，真的那么严重？
I walk in the room, and he won't talk to me. 我进了门，他根本不理我
He just mumbles something in ltalian. 只念了几句意大利文
And I know he only knows the bad words. 我知道他只会脏话
I'm so,so sorry. I feel responsible. 真对不起，都是我不好
It's not your fault. 不是你的错
-Gunther,have you seen Chandler? -I thought you were Chandler. 阿甘，你有看见钱德吗？ 我以为你才是钱德
But one of you is over there. 你们其中一个在那边
Hey,Joe. 乔伊
（意大利文）
I'll be right with you. Thanks for coming in. 我马上就好 谢谢你
Oh,my God! How cute is the on-call doctor? 天哪，这个候诊医生真帅
So cute that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye. 帅到我想拿笔插我的眼睛
-You have the best luck with eye doctors. -I know. 你的眼科医生缘真好 我知道
Dr. Burke will see you now. 柏克医生可以见你了
Not Dr. Burke. The on-call doctor will see me now. 不是柏克医生，柏克医生不在 是候诊医生要帮我看
Dr. Richard Burke is out. 理查柏克医生不在
Dr. Timothy Burke,his son, will see you now. 他儿子提摩西柏克医生帮你看
Ready? 准备好了吗？
Hey,I'm sorry. That 对不起，刚才…
-Where you going? -My folks'. 你要去哪里？ 我爸妈家
When you coming back? 什么时候回来？
I don't know. I might stay there while I look for an apartment. 不知道 可能会住几天顺便找房子
What? 什么？
I thought we could talk about this. Work it out. 原先我以为我们可以谈开来
Seeing you two together,I don't.... 但是看到你们在一起…
What do you want me to say? Should I stop seeing her? 你要我说什么？ 说我不见她吗？
It's not about her. Okay? 跟她无关，好吗？
But seeing you together reminds me of what you did. 但看到你们在一起 就让我想起你做的事
I won't live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend. 我不跟一个不懂朋友道义的人 住在一起
I know what it is to be a friend. I screwed up. 我懂朋友道义，只是我搞砸了
Yeah,you did. 对，没错
And that's why I'm leaving. 所以我要离开
If you're not going to stay for me, then at least stay for them. 你不为我留下来 至少为它们留下来
They had a very difficult year. What with the robbery and all. 它们这1年很不顺，还被抢
And that chick used to be very cute. 小鸡本来很可爱的
When that guy was robbing us... 当那个人抢了我们
...and I was locked in the entertainment unit for six hours... 我在柜子里关了6小时
...do you know what I was doing? 你知道我在做什么？
I was thinking about how I let you down. 我在想我太让你失望了
If I knew what kind of friend you'd be,I wouldn't have worried. 对，早知道你会见色忘友 我根本不会担心
Wait one second! There has to be something that I can do. 等一下…一定有什么我能做的
If we still had that unit... 如果柜子还在
...I'd get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. 我会关6小时 检讨我有多让你失望
What?
We got a box. 我们有一个箱子
I remember the last time I saw you. 我记得上次见到你
It was the morning I left for college. 是去外地念书的早上
You were standing outside the Dairy Queen. 你站在乳品店外面
Just probably waiting for it to open. 八成是在等它开店
-You look great now. -You look great too. 你现在好漂亮 你也很帅
You're an excellent patient. 你真是个好病人
How does it look? 情况如何？
You have a scratch on your cornea. You have to wear a patch. 你的角膜有刮伤 得戴几天眼罩
Like a pirate? 像海盗那样？
If that helps you. 你懂就好
How long have you been working with your dad? 你跟着你爸多久了？
Come on,one of us had to mention him. 总得有人提到他
I moved back here a couple months ago. 我是2个月前搬回来的
Big family dinner tonight? 晚上要家庭聚餐？
No way! 不会吧
I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's. 我本来要去女朋友家吃饭
But we broke up. 但我们分手了
She wasn't ready for a serious commitment. 她还不想定下来
So you made her walk the plank, aye,matey? 所以你让她跳海吃自己？
You're not wearing the patch yet. 你还没戴眼罩呢
I know. 我知道
-He's coming here for Thanksgiving? -I know. It's sick. 他要来过感恩节？ 对啊，好变态喔
-Why is it sick? -It's Richard's son! 为什么变态？ 因为他是理查的儿子
It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner. 这跟找希腊悲剧来吃饭一样
If it were Greek, I'd be blind in both eyes. 希腊人会把两只眼睛都蒙住
I like him because he's handsome and he's nice and smart and handsome. 我喜欢他的英俊、体帖 聪明和…英俊
Phoebe,you understand,don't you? 菲比，你了解吧？
I could see where I'd be your best shot,but no. 我知道你为什么指望我 但是不行
Sorry,honey. I think it's twisted. 对不起，我觉得很畸形
-What's twisted? -Me going out with Richard's son. 什么事畸形？ 我跟理查的儿子交往
好恶！
恶恶恶
It sounds like a really bad idea to me. 我觉得实在不太好
-ls he okay in there? -He's fine! 他这样可以吗？ 他好得很
If things work out between you and Richard's son... 要是你跟理查的儿子有结果
...you can tell your kids... 你就可以告诉孩子
...that you slept with their grandfather. 你跟他们的爷爷上过床
Judge all you want to. 随你们怎么批评
Married a lesbian, left a man at the altar... 娶到女同志，临阵逃婚
...Ioved a gay ice dancer... 爱上同性恋冰上舞者
...threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire,live in a box! 把女生的木腿丢进火里 睡在箱子里
What exactly is the point of the box? 睡箱子的用意到底何在？ 钱德
The meaning of the box is threefold. 有三重意义
One,it gives me the time to think about what I did. 第一，让我有时间反省
Two,it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. 第二，证明我有多重视 跟乔伊的友谊
And three... 第三…
...it hurts. 会痛
And if he stays in the box you guys will be friends again? 他关在里面，你们就能和好？
Let's just say it's a start. 这是个开始
Remember that necklace I gave you last year? 记得我去年送你的项链吗？
Can I see it? 可以给我看吗？
Why? 为什么？
I just want to check something. 我只是想看一下
Okay. 好
Now we'll see. 等着瞧吧
Air hole! Air hole! 没气了！没气了
Here it is. I love it. I wear it all the time. 在这里，我很喜欢，我常戴
The necklace I got you was gold. This is silver. 我送的是金项链，这是银的
Well,maybe... 也许它…
...it changed. 变色了
Oh,my God! You actually exchanged it. 天哪，你真的拿去换
Isn't it better to exchange it for something I enjoy... 换一个我喜欢又常用的东西
...and can use a lot? 不是比较好？
What did you get? 你换了什么？
Credit. 换购金额
I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. 我来开我来开…
Hi,Tim. 提姆
Thank you. Come meet my friends. 谢谢，来见我的朋友
Phoebe. 这是菲比 幸会
And Joey. 乔伊 你好
My brother,Ross. 我哥哥罗斯 你好
And Rachel. 还有瑞秋
That's Chandler. 那是钱德
How do you do? 你好
-What's? -Well,he's.... 这是… 他在…
He's doing some thinking. 他在反省
-What happened? -You kissed my girlfriend! 怎么了？ 你亲了我的女朋友
I like those sunglasses. 我喜欢那个墨镜
"Like them" like them? Or "I'd like to get store credit" like them? 是喜欢的喜欢 还是可以换成换购金额的喜欢
（意大利文）
This turkey is ready. 各位，火鸡上桌了
Where can I wash up? 哪里可以洗手？
Let me show you. 来…我带你去
The towels are hanging next to the sink. 毛巾挂在洗手台旁边
-And you can use the fancy soap. -Thank you. 你可以用高级香皂 谢谢
Fancy soap? I thought we were saving that for the pope. 高级香皂？ 我以为要留给教宗用
See. He's nice,right? 他人很好吧？
Do you want a relationship where you can actually say: 但你真的想在谈恋爱时说
"That's not how your dad used to do it"? “你爸的做法不同”？
Everything looks great. Where should I sit? 看起来好好吃，我坐哪里？
Saved you a seat. 我帮你留了
Sick,sick,sick,sick. 变态变态变态变态
I'll get it. 我去开
Got you! 被我骗了
That doesn't sound like thinking to me. 这听起来不像是反省
-Sorry! -You shouldn't be talking at all. 对不起 你不应该说话
You've got too much thinking to do to be talking and joking. 你要想的太多了 不该说话开玩笑
Okay,you got it! 好，没问题
Ross,pass me the yams? 罗斯，把蕃薯给我
Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them. 好，你想换的话 乔伊那里有马铃薯泥
Will you stop! What's the matter with you? 够了，你是怎么搞的？
We've got company. 有客人喔
Nothing's the matter with me. 我没怎么搞的
I'm not completely devoid of sentiment. I have feelings. 我不是麻木不仁的人 我也有感觉
Okay,fine. 好，很好
You can't tell,but I'm breaking the tension by mooning you guys. 你们看不到 但我正在露屁股打圆场
All right,look! 听着
If this is a big joke to you, forget about it. 如果你把它当成笑话 那就算了
This means something to me. 这对我很重要
If it doesn't mean anything to you, then get out of there. 要是对你不重要，你就死出来
Otherwise,you're just an idiot in a box. 否则就太白痴了
You're right. I'm sorry. This means a lot to me. 你说得对，对不起 这对我非常重要
I want to be friends again. I swear I won't say another word. 我想跟你和解 我发誓不会再说话了
-So you'll take this seriously? -Absolutely! 你会当一回事？ 绝对会
That sounds like another word to me. 你又说话罗
Are you going to take this seriously? 你会当一回事吗？
Okay! 很好
Don't say that I have no sentiment. 别说我麻木不仁
This is a movie stub from our first date. 这是第一次约会的电影票根
This eggshell is from the first time you made me breakfast in bed. 这是你第一次 为我做床上早餐的蛋壳
This is from the museum, the first time we... 这是博物馆的，我们第一次…
...were together. 在一起
Maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter. 我有时会换礼物 但重要的东西我会留
I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. 我不知道该说什么，对不起
Though you're not supposed to take these. 但是…这个不能拿
It's,like,a million years old. 它有百万年的历史
We actually have people looking for that. 我们还得派专人去挖
-Mind if I smoke? -Care if I die? 我可以抽烟吗？ 想害死我吗？
No,I'm just kidding,I'm just kidding. Go ahead,smoke. 开玩笑的，你抽吧
This always happens. 老是会卡住
Here,let me. 让我来
Thank you. 谢谢
You have very beautiful... 你有很漂亮的...
...eye. ..眼睛
My friends think this is weird. 我朋友都觉得这样很怪
Even the one in the box? 包括箱子里那个？
It's not weird,is it? 这样不会很怪吧？
I thought it would be. I almost canceled,but it really isn't. 我原先也觉得会，还差点取消 但其实不会
I know. Me and your dad, that's totally separate. 我知道 我跟你爸完全是两回事
I totally agree. 我完全同意
We're two people who find each other... 我们只是两个…
...very attractive. ...互相吸引的人
Right? 对吧？
-What? -Nothing,nothing. 怎么了？ 没事
No,really. Was that not okay? 那个吻不好吗？
No,that was good. 不，很好
That was a good kiss. 那个吻很好
-lt reminded you of -Don't say it! 天哪！它让你想到… 别说
-lt did,didn't it? -Yes! 但是有，对吧？ 对！
I know! 天哪！ 我知道
God,I am sorry. I am so sorry. 对不起，我真的很抱歉
It's okay. It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring. 没关系 少了感情疮疤就不叫感恩节
You know what's even worse? 更糟的是...
My friends were right. 我朋友说得对
You know what's worst for me is you remind me of a younger version of my mom. 最糟的是 我觉得你就像年轻的我妈
-I want you to know how sorry I am -It's okay. 听着，我真的很抱歉… 没关系
-Chandler's the one I'm mad at. -Well,I'm still sorry. 我气的是钱德 我还是很抱歉
-ls he here? -ln the box. 他在吗？ 在箱子里
He can't talk right now. 钱德？ 他现在不能说话
Why not? What's going on? 为什么？怎么了？
He's trying to show Joey how much he means to him. 他想表示他很重视乔伊
-By being in a box? -Joey had reasons. 所以窝在箱子里？ 乔伊有他的理由
They were threefold. 有三重意义
You not being able to talk might make this easier. 你不能说话反而让事情好办
Listen.... 听我说…
I don't want to be someone who comes between two best friends. 听我说 我不想介入两个最要好的朋友
I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys. 我不忍心看着这件事影响你们
And I don't want to be the cause of that. 我不想成为罪魁祸首
I don't think we can see each other anymore. 所以我们不该再见面了
I'm going to my mom's in Chicago. 我要去芝加哥找我妈
I'm going to stay there for a while. 我会住一阵子
I think this could have been something really amazing. 这段感情本来会很美好
But,you know,this is probably for the best. 但这么做最好
You know? 你懂吗？
I'm going to miss you. 我会想你的
Goodbye,Chandler. 别了，钱德
Open the box! 把箱子打开啦
What? 什么？
He can still catch her. Get out of there! Get out of there! 他还追得上她，快出来啦
We're going to be fine. Get out! 所以… 我们没事啦，出来啦
You did some real good thinking in there. 真的？ 对，你好好反省过了
I mean,this is.... 这真是…
You could still catch her! 快，你还追得上她
And merry Christmas from your Secret Santa! 神秘圣诞老人祝你圣诞快乐
All right,who got Chandler? Because I need to trade. 谁抽到钱德？我要换
He sees her! 他看到她了
He's catching up to her. 他在追她
She sees him! 她看到他了
They're hugging! 他们拥抱了
He's taking her purse. 他在抢她的皮包
That's not them. 那不是他们
I'll go call the police. 我去报警
There they are! 他们在那里
All right,get a room. 快去开房间吧