[02:39.-4]Pete,you're back! Hey,check this out!
[03:28.-2]Can you believe he offered me a restaurant?
[03:47.-3]I would kill for this job. I can totally do this job...
[04:09.-1]But,Mon,that was totally different. He was your health teacher.
[04:54.-3]What were you gonna tell us?
[06:09.-3]Not "the thing." I hate "the thing."
[06:24.-4]If that's the problem, we've got no problem.
[08:56.-3]...trying to get her back to sleep?
[10:17.-1]
[12:12.-3]
[12:39.-4]Because I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
[14:41.-1]Ross,stop that!
[16:31.-4]-Phoebe,would you just tell me? -I can't!
[19:07.-2]...but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you.
[19:40.-2]Shut up for a second and let me just see something.
[20:21.-4]What thing? What thing?
[21:21.-2]So I'll see you tomorrow.
[22:27.-2]Well,give him a minute.
[00:02.30]Whose idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
[00:05.43]Some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.
[00:08.74]-Oh,my God! They took my idea! -That was you?
[00:12.77]Okay,there you go.
[00:14.81]Rachel,I made you cocoa.
[00:16.85]Oh,that's so...
[00:20.12]Oh,my God! Are you guys okay?
[00:26.00]Oh,my.
[00:30.03]The One With a Chick and a Duck
[01:22.88]You know,with that goatee, you kind of look like Satan.
[01:27.75]So that's why the priest threw holy water on me.
[01:33.35]You have to cheer up.
[01:35.32]You should come out with Ross and me.
[01:37.73]Anything is better than sitting here crying all day about Kate.
[01:41.76]I was crying because nobody believed Quincy's theory.
[01:48.50]I'm gonna be on TV!
[01:50.17]No way!
[01:51.67]They're putting together a panel to talk about the fossils in Peru.
[01:55.51]The Discovery Channel's filming it!
[01:57.35]Oh,my God! Who's gonna watch that?
[02:02.55]Thanks. You ready to go?
[02:04.69]I saw a girl with that vest.
[02:06.72]Thanks.
[02:10.29]Most of us think of chocolate and baskets as traditional Easter gifts.
[02:14.63]Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents.
[02:18.90]Unfortunately,most of these guys won't live to see the 4th of July.
[02:24.24]As a result of improper care, they will be dead.
[02:28.08]You guys got any of those baby chicks?
[02:30.08]I was watching this commercial on TV, and,man,those things are cute!
[02:42.89]Skates!
[02:48.40]You're sturdier than Chandler. He crumbled like a piece of paper.
[02:52.47]How was your trip?
[02:54.34]What'd you bring me?
[02:57.67]Hotel toiletries from Japan!
[03:01.24]These are gonna go in my permanent collection.
[03:04.15]-Want some coffee? -That'd be great.
[03:10.19]Regular or decaf?
[03:12.35]Whichever's closest.
[03:15.49]-Ask me what I did today. -What did you do today?
[03:18.63]I bought a restaurant and I'd like you to be the chef.
[03:30.37]What a jerk. You want me to kick his ass?
[03:34.18]It's been my dream since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven...
[03:37.35]...and opened Easy-Monica's Bakery.
[03:50.46]...and God knows,I've paid my dues.
[03:55.56]But Pete's doing this because he has a crush on me.
[03:58.57]And you're still not attracted to him at all?
[04:02.74]How could I accept a restaurant from him? I can't.
[04:05.64]I couldn't accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the 7th grade.
[04:14.35]What,honey?
[04:16.25]My side hurts from when you crashed into me.
[04:19.09]Oh,God,I'm so sorry.
[04:20.89]Oh,God!
[04:23.06]Hey,you guys. Guess what?
[04:29.56]Got a job on a riverboat?
[04:33.37]I didn't wear this suit for a year, because you hated it.
[04:36.70]You're not my girlfriend anymore,so....
[04:39.04]I see. This suit is making a point.
[04:41.51]Now that you're on your own,you're free to look as stupid as you'd like.
[04:46.51]You like it,right?
[04:47.68]I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders.
[04:52.02]Ross,I'm kidding. Come here.
[04:55.79]Was it how you invented the cotton gin?
[05:00.13]So after you put the suggestion in the box...
[05:03.10]...how long did it take for it to happen?
[05:05.63]About three months.
[05:07.60]So I guess that's about two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
[05:17.65]I got you something. Open it! Open it!
[05:28.39]It's a chicken.
[05:31.33]It's cute,huh?
[05:32.83]You guys? Do you know anything about chicks?
[05:35.43]Fowl? No.
[05:37.93]Women? No.
[05:41.34]They are a huge responsibility.
[05:43.84]Especially at this age. They require constant care.
[05:46.91]They need just the right food and lots and lots of love.
[05:50.31]Well,no problem there.
[05:58.35]Easy,Lenny.
[06:04.43]So,I mean,have you thought about it?
[06:07.50]Okay,here's the thing.
[06:12.10]What's "the thing"?
[06:15.00]I can't do it.
[06:16.44]I'm sorry. I wish I could...
[06:18.51]... but you have these feelings for me.
[06:21.54]That's what you're worried about?
[06:27.82]I was gonna tell you over dinner, but I met somebody else,on my trip.
[06:33.05]Her name's Ann. She's a journalist. We met on the plane.
[06:36.22]She wanted to finish off my peanuts.
[06:37.89]I thought she said something else. We had a big laugh.
[06:43.66]I got tired of waiting.
[06:46.30]That's great. I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you.
[06:51.74]-Now I can work for you! -I guess you can.
[06:54.14]Oh,my God! This is incredible!
[06:58.91]You know what? I'm gonna roll right into that office and quit!
[07:02.75]All right!
[07:04.82]Could you give me a little push?
[07:07.06]Good luck!
[07:08.16]I'm quitting!
[07:14.10]I'm okay! I'm all right!
[07:19.70]That's exciting. You went to Japan,made up a woman.
[07:24.14]
[07:25.54]I'm just saying,this "woman," I mean,she's fictitious,no?
[07:30.34]-Why would you say that? -You're still into Monica.
[07:32.85]You said there's somebody else so she'd work with you.
[07:36.02]If you spend time together, maybe something might happen.
[07:40.69]You're good. You're good.
[07:43.46]No,I'm fairly intuitive. And psychic.
[07:46.93]It's a substantial gift.
[07:50.36]Can you promise me that you won't tell her?
[07:53.20]Absolutely. I promise. Tell her what?
[07:57.77]Thanks a lot.
[07:59.31]No,I'm serious. I'm intuitive,but my memory sucks.
[08:04.38]Okay,but this is the last time.
[08:07.15]With a chick-chick here And a chick-chick there
[08:10.25]Here a chick,there a chick Everywhere a chick-chick
[08:13.15]
[08:18.43]How's she doing?
[08:20.39]
[08:22.06]Don't you think it's a she?
[08:24.60]I don't know.
[08:36.08]I can't tell. Whatever it was went back in too quickly.
[08:40.28]I gotta change. I'm meeting some of the cast for drinks.
[08:43.62]
[08:45.09]What?
[08:46.52]I stayed home while you were at rehearsal...
[08:48.92]...so somebody could be here with our chick.
[08:51.76]Who was up from 2:00 this morning until 5:00...
[08:58.53]You don't think I get up when you get up?
[09:01.67]Oh,here it comes.
[09:03.14]Yes! Here it comes! I'm stuck here all day!
[09:07.01]And then you come in and spend two seconds with us...
[09:11.81]...and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends?
[09:15.38]Well,I don't think so,mister!
[09:18.49]I need to relax,okay? I was working all day.
[09:22.39]And you don't think taking care of our chick is work?
[09:28.23]That's not what I said. I just meant
[09:31.03]I know what you meant!
[09:39.74]Did you notice that ever since we got this chick...
[09:43.08]...we've been fighting a lot more than we used to?
[09:48.02]I don't know,maybe we weren't ready to have a chick.
[09:52.92]I'll take her back tomorrow.
[09:55.46]We'll get our $3 back?
[10:02.66]I have that TV thing in two hours, and I need your help.
[10:06.10]What do you think? This blue suit or this brown one?
[10:10.61]The brown one brings out your eyes.
[10:12.67]But your butt looks great in the blue one.
[10:32.53]That aspirin dance really works.
[10:38.27]-ls that still...? -I'm fine.
[10:40.94]-No,you're not! -Yes,I am.
[10:43.07]Look,I'm fine. Watch. Look at that.
[10:47.58]You've got to go to a doctor,okay?
[10:50.65]I have to get ready and go to a dinner at my boss's house.
[10:53.88]There's people there that I have to meet.
[10:56.38]I'm sure you'll make a great impression. "Hi,I'm Rachel.
[10:59.65]It's nice to meet you." “
[11:02.66]Come on,you probably have a broken rib.
[11:04.76]I'll go to the hospital tomorrow. It'll still be broken then.
[11:08.26]But you know,I could use a hand getting ready.
[11:10.83]Either help me,or go.
[11:13.27]Fine. I'll go.
[11:16.10]But before you go, could you help me first?
[11:22.31]Sure. I'll help you.
[11:25.31]Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?
[11:38.43]You know what? I cannot do this with my left hand.
[11:43.10]Would you please help me with this too?
[11:53.77]Let's use this brush.
[11:56.44]-This stuff? -Careful.
[11:58.28]Light.
[11:59.45]Just sweep it across the lid. Just sweep it.
[12:04.42]Sorry!
[12:06.32]That's just poking me in the eye.
[12:08.06]I'm sorry. Close....
[12:09.59]-Just sweep it. -I'm sweeping.
[12:14.30]Now make it even, because we don't....
[12:16.90]I don't want it to be too much. I want it to be subtle.
[12:19.83]You don't wear enough of this.
[12:27.17]Since when do you think I don't wear enough of this?
[12:31.28]Close your eye. You're gonna like this better....
[12:35.65]-Close,close. -Blow it.
[12:43.00]Sophisticated like a hooker?
[12:49.16]-Guess what I'm doing tonight. -What?
[12:51.20]I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete.
[12:53.37]Monica,I am so excited for you!
[12:57.14]I have to tell you something.
[12:58.84]What?
[12:59.91]I can't tell you.
[13:03.01]Wouldn't it be easier to tell me something that you could tell me?
[13:06.81]Well,sure,in a perfect world.
[13:10.65]But no. I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to all my Gods.
[13:17.69]Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
[13:20.86]Does it have to do with Joey?
[13:23.26]Does it have to do with Chandler and that sock he keeps by his bed?
[13:29.14]No,but let's come back to that later.
[13:35.18]There you go! Good enough for your party?
[13:44.72]Sure.
[13:46.72]Sure. I'll just sit next to the transsexual from purchasing.
[13:55.70]All right,I gotta go, So good luck at the party.
[13:59.20]Could you just stay and help me get dressed?
[14:04.61]Sure.
[14:06.67]Great. Okay,just turn around.
[14:10.61]
[14:11.85]I don't want you to see me naked.
[14:14.05]I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked.
[14:18.19]I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your bellybutton.
[14:22.69]Yeah,but that was different. We were going out then.
[14:25.56]Now it's weird.
[14:27.53]Rach,you know,I can see you naked anytime I want.
[14:31.70]
[14:33.53]All I have to do is close my eyes. See?
[14:44.58]Come on! Don't think of me like that anymore.
[14:47.41]Sorry. Nothing you can do about it.
[14:49.38]It's one of my rights as the ex-boyfriend.
[14:55.09]Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
[14:58.69]I'm sorry. It will never happen
[15:01.06]Wait a minute! Wait,wait....
[15:02.73]Now there are 100 of you, and I'm the king!
[15:09.24]Would you grow up? It's no big deal.
[15:12.61]All right. Fine.
[15:19.58]See what you did? I'm gonna be doing it by myself now.
[15:24.12]Oh,my God. All right,look,look....
[15:27.69]Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital,okay?
[15:31.19]I do. I really do.
[15:33.23]I'll get your coat, then I'll put you in a cab.
[15:35.93]You're not gonna come with me?
[15:41.30]Of course I am.
[15:43.74]I just have to make a call.
[15:46.74]Thank you.
[15:54.11]What's wrong?
[15:55.42]I'm sorry. I just can't go to the hospital looking like this.
[16:00.32]Does it involve travel?
[16:02.69]Does it involve clogs?
[16:05.13]Clogs or claws?
[16:08.03]Clogs.
[16:09.76]
[16:14.03]So it doesn't involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey.
[16:18.44]What about Pete?
[16:20.67]What is it?
[16:23.18]-What about Pete? -I don't know!
[16:27.38]I feel like I'm talking to Lassie.
[16:34.79]-I gotta go. -But you're so close!
[16:37.89]Something to do with Pete's company?
[16:40.03]Go! You'll never get it!
[16:51.24]I know.
[16:54.21]See,yes. That's Yasmine Bleeth.
[16:56.64]She's a completely different kind of chick.
[17:03.38]I love you both.
[17:06.42]But in very different ways.
[17:14.09]What are you doing? You were gonna take her back.
[17:17.13]I did. But the store wouldn't take her back.
[17:19.27]Then I took her to the shelter. You know what I found out?
[17:28.51]If they can't find a home for her, they kill her!
[17:32.45]I won't let that happen to little Jasmine.
[17:37.12]Good,good,because I was kind of having second thoughts too.
[17:41.72]And it's not just chicks. It's all kinds of other animals.
[17:45.29]That's horrible. You did the right thing.
[17:48.06]Thanks. I'm glad you see it that way.
[18:02.58]Funny story!
[18:06.85]I don't believe this!
[18:09.15]Look at this refrigerator! It's gigantic!
[18:12.79]I could live in this thing! I'd be cold,but I'm always cold!
[18:18.19]Oh,my God! Look at these spider burners! I love spider burners!
[18:21.93]So you like it?
[18:23.53]It is so perfect! Thank you so much.
[18:27.50]You're welcome.
[18:35.68]Did you just smell my hair?
[18:38.35]No! No way! What?
[18:41.48]-Oh,God. -What?
[18:45.02]You still have feelings for me.
[18:47.12]I'm just excited about the restaurant, that's all.
[18:51.86]I love you. Is that so bad?
[18:55.46]No,it's not bad. It's not bad at all.
[18:57.93]It's really nice.
[19:00.27]The only one who stands to get hurt is me,and I'm okay with that.
[19:05.14]You may be okay with getting hurt...
[19:12.11]That's why I can't take this job.
[19:14.11]
[19:16.55]We probably shouldn't see each other anymore.
[19:20.32]I'm sorry.
[19:24.32]I mean,if that's really what you want,okay.
[19:38.74]I'm sorry things
[19:58.26]You'd tell me the truth?
[20:00.00]Rach,you can't look fat in an x-ray. X
[20:05.40]Now you stay out here and you think about what you did!
[20:11.61]-That's a duck! -That's a bad duck!
[20:17.04]How'd the thing go tonight,Ross?
[20:22.45]Nothing. There was this thing at the museum. Come on.
[20:25.75]Easy.
[20:28.56]Now,when you come back,I hope you remember that that chick is not a toy!
[20:37.26]What "thing"? What is this "thing"?
[20:39.37]I was kind of supposed to be on TV tonight for the Discovery Channel.
[20:44.24]Oh,my God!
[20:46.37]Ross,why didn't you tell me that?
[20:48.38]I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go...
[20:51.31]...and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on.
[20:56.25]-I cannot believe you. -What?
[20:58.82]That is the sweetest thing.
[21:12.13]You should get some sleep.
[21:16.67]Sorry I spoiled your evening.
[21:18.57]As long as you're okay.
[21:33.15]See you.
[21:47.13]What did you do?
[21:59.71]What you doing?
[22:01.01]Having a swim.
[22:03.38]What about the chick?
[22:05.79]Chicks don't swim.
[22:07.49]Are you sure?
[22:10.86]I don't know.
[22:13.86]-Should we try? -Sure.
[22:23.64]See,I told you. They don't swim.
[22:30.71]It's okay. It's okay,baby,baby,baby.