[09:11.-3]How was last night with Julio,senorita?
[09:21.-2]...and all of a sudden he stops to write a poem.
[10:13.-3]-See you guys. -Bye-bye.
[11:23.-3]Congratulations on your first week At your brand-new job
[12:34.-3]Why? How? How is he a genius?
[15:57.-2]Just like the one in the poem.
[19:11.-3]...this Mark thing is hard for me.
[20:03.-4]I gotta get going.
[22:30.-3]And you're also bad in bed
[00:03.92]-Does everybody hate these shoes? -Yeah.
[00:06.69]But nobody will focus on that if you wear that towel-dress.
[00:12.62]Tell him.
[00:13.69]It's her first day at this new job. You shouldn't start with her.
[00:18.90]All right. I suppose I can wait a day.
[00:22.60]-What are you doing Friday? -Why?
[00:24.60]Come to my weird cousin Albert's bachelor party.
[00:27.54]You know,he's the botanist?
[00:29.57]Oh,God!
[00:31.54]Botanists are such geeks.
[00:34.88]Is that a dinosaur tie?
[00:42.12]Morning!
[00:43.46]Rach,I'm here with the purses!
[00:47.56]It must take you forever to find your keys.
[00:50.73]Thank you,Pheebs.
[00:52.33]You're welcome. Please want the one with the turtles.
[00:55.67]No,turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
[00:59.40]Honey,just relax. It's gonna be fine.
[01:02.24]Why don't I come and take you to lunch?
[01:05.01]Thank you! But Mark's taking me out.
[01:08.65]Mark? Is that the same Mark that helped you get the job?
[01:12.65]It's like a "good luck on your first day" thing.
[01:15.59]Is this a lunch box?
[01:17.79]No,a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
[01:22.93]-So can you make it on Friday? -What?
[01:25.53]I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
[01:28.30]Apparently,Albert has no friends.
[01:30.14]He's excited about the bachelor party.
[01:32.30]He's only getting married so he can see a stripper.
[01:37.38]A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so cliche.
[01:41.11]Why don't you guys get a magician?
[01:44.48]If he can open my beer with his butt-cheeks,then all right.
[01:50.00]The One With All the Jealousy
[02:37.10]She's having lunch with him? Lunch with him?
[02:40.27]You should've seen him hug her when she got the job!
[02:43.31]And he's really good-looking.
[02:47.45]-What am I gonna do? -You don't do anything.
[02:50.15]IKeep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.
[02:54.35]Don't cry out loud.
[02:59.59]Guess who has an audition for a Broadway musical?
[03:02.09]I wanna say you,but it seems like such an easy answer.
[03:06.20]It is me!
[03:07.27]It's a musical version of A Tale of Two Cities.
[03:10.27]So I think I'm gonna sing "New York,New York"...
[03:14.01]...and "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
[03:19.38]Joey,I don't think you get to pick the cities.
[03:23.85]What?
[03:24.88]Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
[03:28.35]Who?
[03:31.22]I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
[03:33.46]The what?
[03:35.79]The abridgment.
[03:40.67]The what?
[03:46.57]Then the style number...
[03:48.71]...the invoice number and the shipping date.
[03:52.91]Good. Any questions so far?
[03:55.55]What kind of discount do we get?
[03:58.05]Twenty percent.
[03:59.68]I love this job!
[04:03.59]-My first call! -Here,let me.
[04:06.82]Rachel Greene's line. May I help you?
[04:08.83]Hi,is Rachel there?
[04:10.36]-And who may I say is calling? -This is Ross.
[04:13.57]Ross of...?
[04:15.33]Of "Ross and Rachel." “
[04:18.54]Hi,it's Mark.
[04:20.54]-Hey,Mark.
[04:22.61]Hold on a second. It's Ross.
[04:26.51]Hi,honey.
[04:28.18]What's Mark doing answering your phone?
[04:30.85]Oh,he's just goofing around.
[04:32.85]Oh,that's funny.
[04:36.92]Why isn't he goofing around in his own office?
[04:40.09]This is his office too. I told you, we're Joanna's two assistants.
[04:44.80]Why does Joanna need two assistants?
[04:46.93]How lazy is she?
[04:50.07]Oh,my God! What did I just do?
[04:52.44]I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel!
[04:54.87]I gotta go! Mark,I need you!
[04:56.77]Okay! Bye-bye!
[05:02.28]I'm sorry,sweetie. I was just trying to
[05:05.08]I was dialing another number.
[05:20.50]I got changed in 30 seconds so you could be alone with him.
[05:24.40]You better go for it.
[05:25.84]I'm not going for anything.
[05:28.11]Well,if you don't,I will.
[05:29.81]Would you please go?
[05:32.08]'Night,Mon.
[05:35.31]'Night,Julio.
[05:48.13]Someone left their book here.
[05:50.83]Actually,that is mine.
[05:54.27]What are you reading?
[05:55.87]Flowers of Evil,by Baudelaire. Have you read it?
[06:00.44]Have I read it?
[06:03.51]No. Are you enjoying it?
[06:07.05]I thought I would, but the translation's no good.
[06:11.15]You're a poet and you don't know it.
[06:16.82]Actually,l....
[06:18.86]I am a poet.
[06:22.66]So you do know it.
[06:29.13]So what kind of things do you write about?
[06:33.54]Things that move me:
[06:35.84]The shadow of a tree...
[06:38.88]...a child laughing...
[06:42.15]...or this lip.
[06:43.92]Mine?
[06:45.92]Right here?
[06:48.85]I could write an epic poem about this lip.
[06:58.83]How would that go?
[07:11.34]Well,it didn't rhyme...
[07:14.21]...but I liked it.
[07:18.22]You've got to pick a pocket or two...
[07:22.55]...boys
[07:24.26]You've got to pick a pocket...
[07:27.53]... or two
[07:34.57]Lovely.
[07:36.07]Just lovely.
[07:37.70]Really? Thanks.
[07:39.27]We definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
[07:43.21]Excellent!
[07:45.04]I'll be there.
[07:46.38]Don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
[07:53.89]My agent said that it wasn't a dancing part.
[07:57.49]All the roles gotta dance a little.
[08:00.56]But with your dance background, it'll be a piece of cake.
[08:03.93]"Three years of modern dance with Twyla Tharp"?
[08:08.27]"Five years with the American Ballet Theatre"?
[08:13.30]Everybody lies on their resume,okay?
[08:16.81]I wasn't one of the Zoom kids either.
[08:20.24]Well,can you,like,dance at all?
[08:22.75]Yeah,I can dance. You know....
[08:37.70]What is that?
[08:39.36]Sure,it looks stupid now. There's no music playing.
[08:43.70]I have to get that. But,no,no.
[08:49.37]Hi.
[08:52.01]Listen,I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that.
[09:00.38]Let me ask you this. What do you do for the extra hundred?
[09:05.19]So would I have to provide the grapes?
[09:09.46]Hi.
[09:13.33]It was amazing. He's sexy and smart, which makes him even sexier.
[09:18.24]Last night we were fooling around...
[09:24.31]Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
[09:30.01]We have our stripper, a "Miss Crystal Chandelier."
[09:35.00]Name a kid that,what do you expect them to grow up to be?
[09:40.83]But he forgot to take the poem with him.
[09:43.76]I am totally dense about poetry, but I think this is pretty good.
[09:48.50]Check it out.
[09:51.94]"The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty" “
[09:55.21]To yourself.
[10:00.71]You know,that's pretty good.
[10:02.78]Yeah,I think so too. Phoebe?
[10:05.25]Great! I'm so glad you guys like it!
[10:07.25]-I gotta go to work. -I'm not done.
[10:10.69]Give it back when you're through.
[10:15.93]Oh,my God! Oh,my God! Poor Monica!
[10:18.43]What? What? What?
[10:20.93]He was with her when he wrote this poem!
[10:23.40]"My vessel so lovely, with nothing inside"?
[10:26.64]"Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still"?
[10:29.64]He thinks Monica's empty. She's the empty vase!
[10:33.08]You really think he meant that?
[10:35.11]Totally.
[10:36.38]Oh,God! And she seems so happy too.
[10:39.65]Done.
[10:51.50]Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?
[10:54.13]Oh,yeah,sure! It's right
[11:01.47]What's that?
[11:03.41]It's from Ross. It's a Love Bug.
[11:07.78]Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
[11:11.82]That's not what he's doing.
[11:13.78]He's just really romantic.
[11:16.59]Excuse me. Are you Rachel Greene?
[11:21.79]One,two,three. 1、2、3
[11:26.60]It won't be long Before you're the boss
[11:29.70]And you know who will be there To support you
[11:33.00]Your one and only boyfriend
[11:34.61]It's nice to have a boyfriend!
[11:36.34]Your loyal,loving boyfriend,Ross!
[11:46.85]I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt...
[11:49.79]...that you'd think I'd send those things out of anything but love.
[11:53.92]Hurt!
[11:56.39]All right,I get it. You're hurt!
[11:59.20]Can't a guy send a barbershop quartet...
[12:01.63]...to his girlfriend's office anymore?
[12:06.04]Oh,please! It was so obvious...
[12:08.91]...Iike you were marking your territory.
[12:11.54]You might as well have just come in and peed around my desk!
[12:17.25]I would never do that.
[12:21.72]Look,I know what's going on here.
[12:24.00]Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
[12:28.46]Well,if Mark said that, then Mark's an idiot.
[12:32.50]Mark's a genius.
[12:36.33]Don't you see what's happening?
[12:38.17]Instead of hitting on her now, he's becoming her confidante.
[12:41.51]Now he's gonna be the guy she goes to, to complain about you.
[12:45.01]What am I gonna do?
[12:46.34]Why don't you send her a musical bug?
[12:48.41]No,you already did that.
[12:53.02]You're gonna have to go there yourself now.
[12:55.92]Make a few surprise visits.
[12:57.66]I don't know,guys.
[12:58.82]Fine,don't do anything. Sit and talk to us.
[13:01.33]Meanwhile,she is talking to him about you.
[13:04.16]And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive.
[13:05.93]She's thinking,"Maybe he's the guy for me because he understands me."
[13:10.27]And before you know it, she's with him.
[13:12.47]And you'll be all,"Oh,man!"
[13:15.81]And he'll be all,"Yes!"
[13:19.28]And us,we'll be like,"Oh,dude!"
[13:24.38]And pretty soon you'll be like:
[13:27.12]"Hi."
[13:29.89]And,"Well,I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there."
[13:35.46]And we'll be like,"Man,get over it! It's been four years!"
[13:41.37]He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?
[13:47.17]Here's the Shelley Segal stuff for December.
[13:49.57]Wait,I've got something for you.
[13:52.91]It's okay. Rachel knows.
[13:54.81]Yeah,but even so
[13:57.15]I can't help it. I'm just crazy about you.
[14:00.52]Oh,that is so sweet!
[14:05.36]I know I'm Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough.
[14:08.69]I see you walking around, and I want to touch and hold you....
[14:12.43]Come on,no one's around. Just kiss me.
[14:15.03]All right,that's it! Get off of her!
[14:17.43]What is going on?
[14:18.77]What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on!
[14:28.18]I have been down in your store for 20 minutes,trying to get a tie.
[14:34.85]What do I have to do to get some service?
[14:39.52]Hi,Rach.
[14:50.77]Joey Tribbiani?
[14:57.11]I've got a problem.
[14:58.71]I just got a call from my dance captain.
[15:01.08]He's having a relationship crisis and can't leave Long lsland.
[15:04.38]Does that mean the audition's off?
[15:06.62]Seeing as you've got the most experience...
[15:10.29]... I want you to teach these dancers the combination.
[15:15.49]What?
[15:17.09]Come on,it's easy. You know,it's hand,hand...
[15:21.17]... head,head
[15:23.10]... up,pas de bourree, pas de bourree...
[15:25.00]... big turn here,rond de jambe....
[15:27.94]Slide,step,step...
[15:30.34]...and jazz hands!
[15:34.91]So that's,"Steppity-step and jazz hands."
[15:38.25]Have fun.
[15:40.45]Bye.
[15:46.92]What are you wrapping?
[15:48.76]Look what I got Julio.
[15:54.20]It's a vase.
[15:58.70]Not exactly like the one in the poem.
[16:02.34]What do you mean?
[16:03.84]Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry?
[16:13.32]So I'm just an empty vase?
[16:15.65]What?
[16:17.45]So,I don't read as many important books as you do.
[16:20.06]And I don't write trick poems that aren't about what they seem.
[16:24.73]And I get excited about stupid stuff...
[16:27.40]...Iike when my People magazine comes...
[16:30.30]...and the new "Hold Everything" catalog.
[16:32.90]But that doesn't mean I'm empty. I care about things. Friends and family.
[16:37.37]You have no right to judge me! You don't even know me!
[16:41.91]The poem is not about you.
[16:45.25]What?
[16:46.38]"The Empty Vase" is not about you. “
[16:49.39]My baby preciosa....
[16:51.66]You make me so sad that you would think this.
[16:56.86]I'm sorry. It's....
[16:58.53]My friend Phoebe said
[17:00.93]It's about all women.
[17:04.60]Well...
[17:05.84]...all American women.
[17:09.91]You feel better now?
[17:16.91]All right,let's do it.
[17:39.10]What was that?
[17:41.14]It's the best I could get out of them.
[17:45.31]Well,people!
[17:47.04]People,people,people!
[17:49.65]Let's try it again. And this time, everybody watch Joey.
[17:56.05]Show 'em how it's done.
[18:03.59]Count it off,Mack.
[18:13.60]
[18:17.41]Did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
[18:20.34]Look what I got! See,she's dressed,right?
[18:23.58]And then you click it, and uh-oh,she's naked!
[18:28.79]And then you click it again and she's dressed.
[18:31.66]She's a business woman walking down the street.
[18:34.19]She's window shopping, and oh,she's naked!
[18:48.84]I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
[19:00.82]I'm sorry. I was an idiot.
[19:04.02]A big idiot.
[19:05.62]A big idiot.
[19:08.29]It's just, you have to realize...
[19:13.33]Why is it hard? We've been together for almost a year now.
[19:17.73]Well,I was with Carol for,like,eight years.
[19:21.17]And I lost her.
[19:24.04]And now,if it's possible, I think I love you even more.
[19:27.91]So it's hard for me to believe I'm not gonna...
[19:31.01]...well,that someone else isn't gonna take you away.
[19:35.02]Let it be me. Let it be me!
[19:43.00]Honey,that's very sweet.
[19:46.20]It just seems to me,though, that if two people love each other...
[19:50.23]...and trust each other, like we do...
[19:52.90]...there's no reason to be jealous.
[20:04.62]Bye,Chandler.
[20:06.78]This pen's getting kind of boring. Can you pick me up some porn?
[20:13.72]Where you going?
[20:14.89]I've gotta go pick up Ben for a play-date this afternoon.
[20:18.36]
[20:19.70]Just this woman I met last night at the party.
[20:22.47]There was a woman at?
[20:26.60]The stripper?
[20:30.54]You have a play-date with a stripper?
[20:34.21]Man,I gotta get a kid!
[20:44.32]We started talking after she did her thing...
[20:47.22]...and she's got a boy about Ben's age.
[20:49.63]So we're gonna take the kids to a Gymboree class.
[20:53.43]-ls that okay? -Sure. Is she married?
[21:03.01]Are you jealous?
[21:06.28]I just don't see why she has to play with you.
[21:09.31]I mean,doesn't she have any other stripper-mom friends of her own?
[21:17.79]You are totally jealous!
[21:20.46]I'm not jealous.
[21:21.93]This is about...
[21:25.53]... people feeling certain things...
[21:28.93]...you know,about...
[21:31.20]...strippers. And,you know....
[21:34.71]I love you too.
[21:36.44]Bye.
[21:37.81]Wait,wait,wait!
[21:39.38]What?
[21:54.02]Well,there's a kiss he won't forget for a few hours.
[21:58.66]Either that or you just turned him on and sent him to a stripper.
[22:08.37]Is there a Julio here?
[22:11.41]I am Julio.
[22:14.38]Mr. Pretentious
[22:16.58]You think there's no one finer Your poems are unpublished
[22:19.88]And you work in a diner
[22:21.89]You're no God's gift to women That's all in your head
[22:26.89]You are just a butt-munch
[22:28.59]No one likes a butt-munch!