Honey,he calls everybody by a nickname. 他都叫别人的绰号
Yeah. We'll see. 等着瞧
I'm sorry. We'll put some ice on it. 对不起，来冰敷吧
So! 所以…
Waiter. 服务生
Yeah. That's Daddy. 是啊，爸就是这样
Thanks again,Dr. Greene. 葛林医生，再次谢谢你
... I cut a hole in my pocket... 我就把口袋挖一个洞
Let's say I've just gotten bad news. 要是我听到一个坏消息
IKnock,knock! 有人在吗？
It's a racecar! 这是一辆赛车
Wait a minute. You don't have renter's insurance? 慢着，你没有承租保险？
How you gonna run after a thief, with one leg shorter than the other? 要是遭小偷 你要用长短脚追吗？
Hey,you can't go back there! 你不能到后面去
My bed's so boring. 我的床好无聊
So I told Carl,nobody,no matter how famous their parents are... 我告诉卡尔 没有人可以爬恐龙
...is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. 父母再有名也一样
Of course,it went right in one ear.... 可想而知，他是左耳进…
I love how he cares so much about stuff. 我最喜欢他的认真了
If I squint,I can pretend he's Alan Alda. 要是我眯起眼睛 就能把他看成亚伦艾达
Oh,good. Another dinosaur story. 帅啊，又在讲恐龙的事
When are those gonna become extinct? 这些事什么时候才会绝种？
If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible... 如果我是一个会飞 还会隐形的超级英雄
... that would be the best. 那就太棒了
What does Rachel see in this guy? 瑞秋到底看上他哪一点？
I love Rachel. 我爱瑞秋
I wish she was my wife. 真希望她是我的老婆
Who's singing? 谁在唱歌？
The One With the Race Car Bed 本集播出：“门当父不对”
ENDCREDIT
When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days... 你们小时候扮家家酒
...who were you? I was Richie. 都扮成什么？我都当爸爸
I was always Joanie. 我都当妈妈
Question: Was "Egg the Gellers!" the war cry of your neighborhood? 请问“蛋洗盖勒家” 是你们社区的团结口号吗？
“床垫大王特价实施中”
It's the Mattress King! 是床垫大王
Change the channel! 赶快转台
Wait! I want to see this! After I divorce him... 等一下，我想看 等我跟他离了婚
...half of that kingdom is gonna be mine! 有一半的王国将属于我
Despair fills the mattress showroom. 床垫卖场愁云惨怖
My Kingdom is suddenly without a Queen. 我的王国突然失去皇后
I'm so depressed... 我是如此沮丧
...I'm going to slash... 我决定将价格
...my prices! 砍到最低！
Check it out! 各位请看
599 for a California king! 大型床垫只要599
499 for a pillow-top queen set! 有枕垫的中型床垫只要499
I'm going medieval on prices! 我的价格非常中古
What a wank! 那个小人
I cannot believe he's using our divorce to sell mattresses! 他居然拿我们的离婚来促销
I know. At $499 for a pillow-top queen,who cares about the divorce? 有枕垫的床垫只要499 谁管你离不离婚？
Those babies will sell themselves! 那些床垫自己都能卖
And I'm appalled for you,by the way. 还有，我很为你生气
I'm close! I'm cheap! I'm the King! 卖场最近，价格最低 我是床垫之王
Okay,Daddy. We'll see you tomorrow night. Okay,bye-bye. 好的，老爸，我们明晚见 好，再见
"We"? 我们？
are having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night. I hope that's okay. …明晚要跟我爸吃饭 没问题吧？
Oh,shoot! Tomorrow's not good. 糟糕，明天不方便
I'm supposed to fall off the Empire State Building... 我应该会从帝国大厦掉下来
...and land on a bicycle with no seat,so.... 跌到没有座垫的脚踏车上 所以…
My father doesn't hate you. 我爸并不讨厌你
Please. He refers to me as "Wet-Head." 拜托，他管我叫“油头”
I know. Just one dinner. One night. For me. Please? 好，就一顿饭 一个晚上，为了我
I just want him to love you like I do. 我只是想让他像我一样爱你
All right. Well,not exactly like I do. 好吧，也许不能像我一样
But if you do come to dinner... 不过如果你肯来
...I'll love you like I do in that black thing that you like. 我就穿那件黑色性感内衣 好好爱你
I'll go. 我去
Fine. 好吧
Thank you. 谢谢
Hi,Gunther. 阿甘
Hey,you guys! 大家好
Guess what. 你们猜怎样？
-I got a gig! -Great! 我有头路了
That's why I can never be an actor. I can't say "gig." 所以我当不成演员 我不会说“头路”
I can't say "croissant." Oh,my God! 我不会说“可颂” 天哪！
-What's the part? -It's not a part. 是什么角色？ 不是角色
I'm teaching Acting for Soap Operas at the Learning Extension. 我要去函授学校 教“连续剧演技”
Come on! That's great! 很棒啊
It's my chance to give something back... 我可以藉此机会
...to the acting community. 回馈演艺界
You're probably not allowed to sleep with your students. 你应该不能跟学生上床
I know. 我知道
“床垫大王”
I don't know,Monica. It feels funny just being here. 我不晓得 光是来这里，感觉就很怪
If you buy a bed from Janice's ex-husband... 跟珍妮丝的前夫买床铺
...it's like betraying Chandler. 就像在背叛钱德
Not at these prices! 这种价格耶
You know,in England this car would be on the other side of the store. 在英国这辆车 应该在店的另一边
Come here. 菲比，过来
This is my new bed! 这就是我的新床铺
You gotta feel this bad boy! 你一定要感受一下
Monica,it still feels so weird, you know? 摩妮卡，我还是觉得怪怪的
Chandler's your friend. 钱德是你的朋友
Oh,my God! 我的天哪
All right,take this bed. You can make other friends. 买吧，朋友可以再交
“乔伊崔比亚尼”
Good evening. 晚安
I am Mr. Tribbiani. 我是崔比亚尼老师
And I will be teaching Acting for Soap Operas. 我将教大家“连续剧演技”
Now... 好的
...on my first day as Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days Of Our Lives... 在我参与“我们的岁月” 演出拉莫瑞医生的第一天
... I learned one of the most important things in soap opera acting... 我学到演连续剧时 很重要的一点
...is reacting. 就是回应
This does not mean acting again. 意思不是“回去反应”
It means you don't have a line, but someone else just did. 而是你没有台词 但可以听别人讲
And it goes something like this. 就像这样
Thanks. Thanks a lot. 谢了
By the way,before I forget. To work in soap operas... 还有，先说明一点 如果想演连续剧
...some of you will have to become more attractive. 有些同学得让自己变漂亮
All right,moving right along.... 好，继续往下讲
-How was teaching last night? -Great! You get to say stuff like... 昨晚课上得怎样？ 很棒，我可以说…
... "Hey,the bell doesn't dismiss you. I dismiss you." 打铃并不代表下课 我说下课才能下课
Oh,nice. 真好
Oh,and I got an audition for All My Children! 还有，我要去 “我的孩子们”试镜
It's this great part. 是一个很棒的角色
This boxer named Nick. 拳击手尼克
And I'm so,so right for it. He's just like me. 我超适合的，他跟我一模一样
Except that he's a boxer... 除了他是拳击手
...and has an evil twin. 有一个坏蛋双胞胎
Hear ye,hear ye! Delivery from the Mattress King! 床垫大王送货来了
You Miss Geller? 盖勒小姐吗？
Sign here. 请签收
Do I have a middle name? 我有中间的名字吗？
All right. Monica "Felula"... 好吧，摩妮卡“费露拉”…
...Geller. 盖勒
It's that bedroom there. 抬到那个房间
Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King? 摩妮卡跟床垫大王买床？
Please,please,please don't say anything to Chandler. 求求你，不要告诉钱德
-You want me to lie to him? -ls that a problem? 你要我骗他？ 有问题吗？
Oh,hey,"Nick the boxer." Let's see what you got! 拳击手尼克，露两手来瞧瞧
All right,put them up. 拳头举起来
Hey,you're pretty good at this. 你蛮有架势的嘛
I had to learn. I was staying at the "Y"... 我非学不可 我住在基督教青年会时
...and some of the young men weren't acting Christian enough. 有些男生不像基督徒
Hey,now! 别闹了
And I'm bleeding. Okay,great. 我流血了，帅啊
Wow! And I'm a vegetarian! 我是素食者耶
Put your head back. 把头仰起来 好
-I can't see. -I have you. 我看不到 我来牵你
Oh,God! 天哪
Which bedroom do you want it in, Ms. Geller? 盖勒小姐，要抬进哪个房间？
It's the compulsively neat one by the window. 靠窗有洁癖的那一间
Gotcha. 知道了
Hi,Daddy! 爸爸
This is where they put us? 位子被排在这里？
What? There was no table in the kitchen? 厨房挤不下了吗？
-Hello,baby. -You remember Ross. 乖女儿 记得罗斯吧
Nice to see you again,Dr. Greene. 葛林医生，又见面了
-How's the library? -Museum. 图书馆还好吗？ 是博物馆
-What happened to the library? -There never was a library. 那图书馆呢？ 没有图书馆
I mean,there are libraries. It's just... 是有图书馆，只不过…
...that I've never worked at one. 我没在图书馆做过事
You know what's really good here? The lobster. 知道这里的名菜是什么？ 龙虾
-Shall I just order three? -lf you're really hungry. 我直接点三客吧 如果你很饿的话
It was a joke. I made a joke. 那是在开玩笑
Actually,Daddy, Ross is allergic to lobster. 其实罗斯对龙虾过敏
Who's allergic to lobster? I guess someone that works in a library. 谁会对龙虾过敏？ 我猜是图书馆员
-It's -I know. It's a museum! 不是… 我知道，是博物馆
You're the only who can make a joke? At least mine was funny. 只有你可以开玩笑吗？ 至少我的很好笑
We will have two lobsters and a menu. 两客龙虾，一份菜单
So,Dr. Greene,how's the old boat? 葛林医生，你的船好吗？
They found rust. Do you know what rust does to a boat? 生锈了，你知道生锈会怎样？
Gives it a nice antique-y look? 让船看起来很古雅？
Rust is boat cancer,Ross. 锈是船的癌症，罗斯
Wow,I'm sorry. 我真遗撼
When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that. 我小时候就这样 失去了一台脚踏车
Excuse me for a moment. 失陪一下
I want to say good night to the Levines before we go. 我想在离开之前 去问候莱文家的人
Honey,stop. It's not that bad. 亲爱的，别这样，没那么糟
Your dad must have added wrong. He only tipped 4%. 你爸一定算错了 他只给了4%的小费
"That's Daddy"? Doesn't it bother you? You're a waitress. 爸就是这样？ 你不困扰吗？你是服务生耶
Yes,it bothers me. 我的确很困扰
If he was a regular at the coffee house,I'd be serving him sneezers. 如果他常来 我会在他的咖啡里加胡椒
-So? -So,Ross... 所以呢？ 所以…
... I've bugged him about this a million times. He won't change. 我跟他说过几千遍了 他就是不改
Do you really serve people sneezers? 你真的会在咖啡里加胡椒？
Well,I don't. 不会
All right,kids. Ready? 孩子们，可以走了吗？
Wait,I think I forgot my receipt. 等一下，我忘了拿收据
-You don't need that. -Why not? 不要拿了 为什么？
The carbon. It's messy. I mean, gets on your fingers and causes... 复写纸很脏 会沾到手指，引发…
... night blindness. 夜盲症
What is this? 这是什么？
Who put a 20 down here? 谁放了20元？
Oh,yeah,that would be me. 是我
I have a problem. 我有一个毛病
I tip way too much. Way too much. 我给的小费太高了
-It's a sickness,really. -Yeah,it is. 这是一种病 没错
-We have to do something about that. -Excuse me. 我们得想个办法 很抱歉
You think I'm cheap? 你觉得我很小器？
He didn't mean anything by that. He really didn't. 他没有那个意思，真的
Nothing I do means anything. Really. 我做的事都没有意义，真的
This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner. 真好啊，我花200元请客
You put down $20 and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. 你只放了20元 就成了大人物
You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here. 你那么想当大人物？
I'll tell you what. You pay the whole bill,Mr. Big Shot. All right? 这样吧，钱都给你出，大人物
Well,"Mr. Big Shot" is better than "Wet-Head." “大人物”总比“油头”好
Okay,some tricks of the trade. 现在教你们几个诀窍
Now,I've never been able to cry as an actor... 我演戏一向哭不出来
...so if I have to cry... 所以要是我得哭
...take a pair of tweezers... 放一把镊子在里面
...and just start pulling. 然后开始拔毛
Or let's say I want to convey... 如果我想表现…
...that I've just done something evil. 刚做了坏事的感觉
That would be your basic I've-got-a- fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-l-like-it. 就秀出基本的 “我爱眉毛上的鱼钩”的表情
Well,all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. 只要心算232 除以13就行了
And that's how it's done. 就是这样
Great soap opera acting tonight,everybody. 今晚的课上得很愉快
Class dismissed. 下课
Hey,Mr. Trib. 崔老师
Guess what? I got an audition! 你猜怎样？我要去试镜了
One of my students got an audition. I'm so proud! 我的学生要试镜了，我好骄傲
I was wondering if you'd coach me for it. 能不能请您指导我？
You bet! What's the part? 当然可以，是什么角色？
Oh,it's great! 那个角色很棒
It's a role on All My Children. Nick the boxer. 是“我的孩子们”里的 拳击手尼克
You couldn't leave it alone. 你就一定要鸡婆
Four percent,okay? I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food. 才4%，就算菜里有虫 我给得都比较多
Tonight was about the two of you getting along. 今晚你们好不容易处得不错
Would you just see my chiropractor already? 快去找我的按摩治疗师好吗？
I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to medical school in a mini-mall. 是啊，一个没念过 医科的治疗师
Hey,Pheebs. What are you doing? 菲比，你在干什么？
I'm freaking out! 我快吓死了
Monica trusted me with something and she shouldn't have! 摩妮卡交待我办一件事 她不该这么做
I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you. 我搬走一阵子了 所以我得问你
Does Monica still turn the lights on in her room? 摩妮卡睡觉时还是会开灯吗？
I am so dead! 我死定了
Look,here's the bottom line. 以目前的情况
This is fixable if we act fast,okay? 赶紧补救还来得及
I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow, and you can make nice. 我找他明天来吃早、午餐 你可以示好
Honey,I have tried to make nice. It doesn't work. 我示好过了，没有用
Look,I realize my father is difficult. 我知道我爸很难相处
But that's why you have got to be the bigger man here. 所以你一定要比他大方
Sweetie,I could be the bigger man. I could be the biggest man. 我可以比他大方 我可以超级大方
I could be a huge,giant man,and it still wouldn't make a difference. 就算我当一个巨人 事情也不会改变
Except I could pick your father up and say,"Like me! Like me,tiny doctor!" 除非我可以把你爸拎起来说 喜欢我吧，小医生！
Can't you just try it one more time? For me? For me? 你就不能再试一次吗？ 就当是为了我
One brunch is not gonna solve anything. 吃早、午餐也不能解决什么
Face it. We're never gonna get along. 面对现实吧，我们合不来
Well,you are just going to have to. 你们非合得来不可
I've already got a mother and father who cannot stay in the same room. 我已经有一对 无法共处一室的父母
I don't want to have a separate room for you too! 我不想再多你一个
I'll get the bagels. 我去买焙果
What's this? 这是什么？
Isn't it cool? 很酷吧？
This is not the bed I ordered. 这不是我订的床
I know! You must have won a contest or something. 我知道 你一定是赢了什么比赛
Why is this car in my bedroom? 这辆车为什么在我的房里？
I'm sorry. I wasn't looking... 对不起，我没有注意
...and the store won't take it back,because you signed for it. 他们不肯接受退货 因为你签收了
-When did I sign for it? -When I was you. 我什么时候签收了？ 当我是你的时候
It's all Joey's fault, because he left his nose open! 都是乔伊不好，他没护住鼻子
Did you make brownies today? 你今天吃了布朗尼吗？
Quick! Take off your dress. He won't notice the bed. 快脱衣服，他就不会注意到床
I'm going for sushi. Does anybody want? 我要去吃寿司，有人要…
Somebody missed the off-ramp! 有人忘了下交流道吗？
It's Monica's bed. What? 这是摩妮卡的床，怎样？
This has always been Monica's bed. You just noticed? 摩妮卡的床一直都是这张 你现在才发现？
How self-involved are you? 你还真自我中心
If this bed isn't new,then how come there's plastic on the mattress? 如果这不是新床 床垫上为什么有胶膜？
Sometimes I have bad dreams. 我有时候会做恶梦
Look... 听着…
... I just saw my best friend's brain smeared across the canvas. 我刚看到我的死党 脑浆溅在画布上
It's not gonna be me. 我不要跟他一样
Not me. 我不要
That was good. 太精彩了
That was 太…
Tweezers? 有镊子吗？ 没有
-That was really good. -Thanks. 演得非常好 谢谢
Any suggestions? 您有什么建议吗？
You told him to play the boxer gay? 你叫他演成同性恋？
I might have said... 我说的应该是…
... "super-gay." “越明显越好”
You totally screwed him over. 你把他给毁了
You're this guy's teacher. How could you do this? 你是他的老师，怎么能这样？
Because the guy's so good. 因为他演得太好了
And I really,really want this part. 我真的很想拿到这个角色
Well,if you really,really want it, then it's okay. 要是你真的很想，那就没关系
-Hi,Daddy. -Baby. 爸爸 女儿
Dr. Greene,how are you? 罗斯 葛林医生，你好吗？
Thanks for dinner last night. 谢谢你昨晚请客
Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson. 谢谢你给我上了宝贵的一课
Nice hair. What did you do,swim here? 好帅的发型 你是游泳来的吗？
That's it. I can't take it anymore. 够了，我受不了了
What? He likes your hair and just wants to know how you got here. 怎么了？他喜欢你的发型 想知道你是怎么来的
-It's hopeless. I'm just gonna go. -What? 没有用的，我要走了 什么？
-I'm sorry. It's just -Ross? 对不起，我实在… 罗斯？
What's with the neck? 你的脖子怎么了？
I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor. 他的脖子不舒服 我一直叫他去找我的按摩师
You still going to him? 你还在找他？
He couldn't get into med school in lxtapa! 他连乡下的医学院都考不上
Thank you. That's what I keep saying. 谢谢，我一直这么说
Excuse me,Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor. 很抱歉 巴比医生是个很好的医生
Wait a minute. His name is Dr. Bobby? 等一下，他叫巴比医生？
-That's his last name. -And his first name. 那是他的姓 和他的名字
He's Bobby Bobby? 他叫巴比巴比？
It's Robert Bobby. 是劳勃巴比
And excuse me. He helps me. 而且很抱歉，他把我医好了
-Please. Ask her how? -What do you need help for? 拜托！你问她 你哪里有毛病？
My alignment. One leg's shorter than the other. 我歪一边，有一条腿比较短
-Oh,my God. -Argue with that. 拜托！ 跟她辩辩看
My right leg is two inches shorter! 本来就是，我的右腿短了两英寸
Come on,you're just tilting! 拜托，你只是没站直
-Her legs are fine. -I know that. 她的腿好得很 我知道
-So why do you let her go to him? -"Let her"? 那你为什么让她去？ 让她去？
She doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance,either. 她连承租保险的事都不听我的
-Would you like some juice? -I'd love some juice. 你要喝果汁吗？ 麻烦你
This is going so well! Did you see us? Did you see? 真顺利，你看到我们了吗？
Yeah,honey. I was standing right there. 看到了，我就站在旁边
Why don't you tell him about my mole? 你怎么不提我那颗痣的事？
Excellent! 好主意
There will come a time in each of your careers... 有一天，在你们的事业生涯里
...when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. 你们会有机会毁掉 另一个连续剧演员
I had such an opportunity in the recent present. 前不久，我就有这样的机会
And I'm ashamed to say... 很惭愧的是…
...that I took it. 我也做了
I advised a fellow actor to play a role... 我建议另一位演员把一个角色
... homosexually. 演成同性恋
We both auditioned for the part... 我们都去应徵那个角色
...and as it turned out... 结果是…
...they.... 他们…
They liked the stupid "gay" thing and cast him. 他们喜欢同性恋的演法 选了他
And now... 现在，他拿到两年的合约
... he's got a two-year contract... 要和…
...opposite Susan Lucci... 苏珊鲁奇合作
...the first lady of daytime television. 日间电视剧的女王
And me? 而我呢？
Me,I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people... 我困在这里教别人演戏
... most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. 大多数丑到根本上不了电视
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 对不起…
Thank you. 谢谢
-May I help you? -Yes,hi. 有什么需要吗？ 有，你好
I'm the lady who got stuck with the racecar bed. 我就是被硬塞一张赛车床的人
Look,it's like I told you. There's nothing I can do. 我跟你说过了，我无能为力
You signed for it. "Monica Felula Geller." 你签收了 “摩妮卡费露拉盖勒”
All right,we wanna see the King. 我们要见床垫大王
Nobody sees the King. 没有人可以见大王
Okay. I'm talking to the King. 好，那我要找他说话
Oh,my God. 我…的…天！
Hey,watch it,lady! 小姐，小心一点
Hey,good-looking. 美女喔
All right,I'll leave. 好，我走