Janice is coming back from a trip. She gives you two options. 珍妮丝旅行回来 她给你两种选择 
Option one: She'll take a cab home from the airport. 选择一，她从机场 自己搭计程车回来 
Option two: You can meet her at baggage claim. What do you do? 选择二，你在领行李的地方 与她碰面，你会怎么做？ 
Easy. Baggage claim. 简单，领行李的地方 
Wrong! Now you're single. 错了，所以你没女朋友啦 
It's actually secret option number three. 其实是第三个秘密绝招 
You meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her. 你在登机门与她碰面 这就表现出你对她的爱
Okay,this is good. 好，这样真不错 
...at night, which I'm all for. 我当然也喜欢抱抱 
But when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. 不过当你想睡觉时 你会想要一点空间 
So how do I tell her that without... 我要怎样告诉她，才不会… 
...you know,accidentally calling her fat or something? 不小心又说她胖之类的？ 
I'm late for work. 我上班要迟到了 
-Are you guys coming down? -Yeah. I'm right behind you. 你们要不要下来？ 好，等一下就去 
Good luck,Chandler. 祝你好运，钱德 
The sleeping thing. 关于睡觉那件事 
Very tricky business, but solvable. 非常困难，但可以解决 
I thought you were "cuddly sleepers." 我以为你们都是“抱着睡觉” 
No,not cuddly. Not me. Just her. 不，不是抱着睡 不是我，只有她 
I'm like you. I need the room. 我跟你一样，我需要空间 
Okay,come here. 好，到这儿来 
Okay. You're in bed. 好，现在你在床上 
I'll use the cushion. 我还是用垫子好了 
Okay. You're in bed. She's over on your side,cuddling. 好，你在床上 她在你旁边，抱着你 
Now,you wait for her to drift off... 现在，你等她逐渐睡着… 
...and then you hug her... 然后你抱住她… 
...and roll her over to her side of the bed. 然后把她滚到床的另一边 
And then you... 然后你… 
... roll away. 你就滚到旁边去 
Hug for her. 抱住她 
Roll for you. 自己滚到旁边去 
The old "hug and roll." 就像以前的“拥抱与翻滚” 
One question. You're pretending the pillow's a girl,right? 只有一个问题 你把枕头当作女生，对吧？ 
Remember when you were a kid,your mom would send you to the movies... 记得小时候 你妈会把你送到电影院… 
...with a jar of jam and a little spoon? 给你一罐果酱 和一根小汤匙？ 
You're so pretty. 你真可爱 
You know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today. 你知道那个跟踪我的人吗？ 我今天跟他说话了 
You talked to him? Are you crazy? 你跟他说话？你疯了吗？ 
First,I'm not crazy. And second,say it,don't spray it. 第一，我没有疯 第二，用说的，别用喷的 
Anyway,his name is Malcolm, and he wasn't following me. 反正他叫做麦尔康 他也不是在跟踪我 
I mean,he was, but he thought I was Ursula. 我是说，他在跟踪没错 但他以为我是乌苏拉 
That's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 所以他不敢上前来跟我说话 
Because of the restraining order. 因为有禁制令 
Not feeling better about Malcolm. 我还是对麦尔康没有好感 
No,no,he's not a kook. 不，他不是疯子 
He's just this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy... 他只是个非常热情 极度浪漫的傢伙… 
...that just got a teensy bit carried away. 只是有点过火了 
We get along really well, and he's so cute. 我们处得很好，而且他很可爱 
Oh,my God! You've got a crush on your sister's stalker. 天啊，你竟然暗恋 跟踪你妹妹的人 
I'm going to help him get "de-Ursula-ized." 我要帮他忘记乌苏拉的一切 
Like I did for Joey after he went out with her. 就像乔伊跟她约会后 我为他做的一样 
I didn't stalk her. 我没有跟踪她 
I asked for the news, not the weather. 我是问你事情 你不用喷口水 
Joey,this is for you. It's blackberry currant. 乔伊，这是你的 这是黑莓红醋粟酱 
Joe,I got to ask. 乔伊，我得问你 
The girl from the xerox place, buck naked... 影印店的那个女孩，全裸 
...or a big tub of jam? 还是你要一大缸果酱？ 
Put your hands together. 你把两只手放在一起吧 
No more jam? 没有果酱了？ 
What happened to your jam plan? 你的果酱计划呢？ 
I figured out I'd need to charge $17 a jar just to break even. 我算过了 我每罐得卖17元才能打平 
So I've got a new plan now. Babies. 所以我有个新计划 就是生小孩 
Well,you'll need much bigger jars. 那你可能需要很大的罐子 
-What are you talking about? -About me having a baby. 你们在谈什么？ 谈我要生孩子的事 
-Are you serious? -Yeah. 你是认真的吗？ 是啊 
The jam plan helped me take control of my life. 果酱计划让我开始 掌握自己的生活 
So I thought,"What is the most important thing to me?" 所以我就想 什么事对我最重要？ 
And that's when I came up with the baby plan. 因此我就想出 生小孩这个计划 
Aren't you forgetting something? 你是不是忘了什么？ 
What is that guy's name? Dad! 那个傢伙叫什么？ 叫“爸爸”！ 
It took me 28 years to find a man I wanted to spend my life with. 我花了28年，找到一个 想与他共度终身的男人 
If I have to wait another 28 years, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby. 如果我还得再等28年 我就得56岁才生小孩 
And that's just stupid. 那样实在太愚蠢了 
That's what's stupid? 那样叫愚蠢？ 
I don't need an actual man. Just a few of his best swimmers. 我不需要一个真正的男人 只要他几只会游泳的小傢伙 
And there are places you can go to get that...stuff. 而且你可以在某个地方 得到那些小傢伙 
Down to the docks again? 又要去码头了吗？ 
Night-night,Bing-a-ling. 晚安，宾宝贝 
Night-night... 晚安… 
...Janice. 珍妮丝 
Look at all the room on her side! 看看她那一边的位置！ 
A giant penguin could fit over there. 都可以放一只大企鹅了 
That'd be weird,though. 不过那样会很奇怪 
Hug and roll time. 要开始“拥抱与翻滚”了 
I'm hugging. I'm hugging. 我正在拥抱… 
You're rolling,and.... 你在翻滚，然后… 
Yes! Freedom! 太好了，自由了！ 
Except for this arm! 除了这只手臂以外！ 
I'm stuck. Stuck arm. 我被困住了，手臂卡住了 
Time for the old tablecloth trick. One fluid motion. 该玩以前那种 盖桌布的游戏了，一个快动作 
Quick like a cat. 像猫一样矫捷… 
And one,two... 一、二… 
... three! 三！ 
Oh,great. You're doing great. 很好，你做得很好 
Going strong. IKeep going. 很不错，继续吧 
These are my night-vision goggles. 这是我的夜视镜 
This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. 这是我在公园里看她时 假装阅读的书 
And these are Madlibs. They're just for fun. 这些是接字游戏 只是好玩用的 
This is the log I kept, recording her every movement. 这是我写的日志 记录她的一举一动 
Want to hear some of it? 你要不要听听看？ 
Not even a little bit. 我一点也不想听 
It's about you. 是跟你有关的 
Okay then. 那好吧 
"l met Phoebe today. 我今天遇到菲比 
And when I was walking home, I thought about her a lot. 当我走回家时，我不断想着她 
It was weird,but kind of cool." 虽然很怪，却是很棒的感觉 
Good. 很好 
So what were you thinking? 你在想什么？ 
I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you. 我在想亲你是什么感觉？ 
-Really? -No. 真的吗？ 不 
That's just something I said now so that maybe I could kiss you. 那只是我故意说的 这样我才能亲你 
Oh,okay. 好啊 
No,it's all right. I just had a jar of mustard. 不，不用了 我刚吃了一罐芥末 
Okay,he's 6'2",170 pounds. 好，他是6尺2寸，170磅 
He describes himself as a male Gina Davis. 他形容自己是 男性的吉娜戴维丝 
You mean there's more than one of us? 你是说除了我们之外 还有别人？ 
You can't do this,Mon. If you do this,I'll 你不能这样做，摩妮卡 如果你这么做，我会… 
-You'll what? -I'll tell Mom. 你会怎样？ 我会告诉妈 
I'm sorry,but he's right. I love you,but you're crazy. 很抱歉，他是对的 我爱你，可是你真的疯了 
Why? Why is this crazy? 为什么这样就叫疯了？ 
-So this isn't the ideal way -Oh,it's not 就算这不是理想方法… 这根本不是… 
Lips moving. Still talking. 嘴巴在动，我还在讲话！ 
It may not be ideal,but... 这样可能不太理想，但… 
... I'm so ready. 我真的准备好了 
It makes me ache,you know? 让我心好痛，你知道吗？ 
Check it out! Jam crackers! 你看看，果酱饼干！ 
Okay. All right,how's this? 好吧，这个如何？ 
Twenty-seven,ltalian-American guy. 27岁，意大利裔美国人 
He's an actor. 他是个演员 
Born in Queens. 在皇后区出生 
Wow! Big family. Seven sisters... 好大的家庭！ 有七个姐姐… 
...and he's the only... boy. 他是唯一的…男孩 
Oh,my God! Under personal comments: "New York Knicks rule." 天啊，个人评论写着 纽约尼克队万岁！ 
Yeah,the Knicks rule! 对啊，纽约尼克队万岁！ 
Joey,this is you! 乔伊，这个是你！ 
Let me see. 让我看看 
Oh,right! 对啊 
You went to a sperm bank? 你去精子银行？ 
Right after I did that sex study at NYU. 就在我参加 纽约大学的性研究之后 
Remember that sweater I gave you? 你记不记得你生日时 我送你的毛衣？ 
That's how you bought it? 那是你用这样赚来的？ 
No. That's what I was wearing when I donated. 不，那是我捐精子那天穿的 
I'm surprised there's any of my boys left. 我真惊讶他们那儿 还会有我的小傢伙 
It is pretty competitive. There's an actual rocket scientist here. 那里竞争很激烈的 还有真正的火箭科学家呢 
Maybe I should have them put my Days of our Lives gig on here. 或许我该叫他们 把我演的连续剧放上去
Juice this up a little. 多增加点声势 
How's the maniac? 那个疯子如何了？ 
He's yummy. We did a little kissing. 他真迷人，我们接吻了 
Phoebe,what are you doing? 菲比，你在做什么？ 
No,no. He's not into that anymore. He quit for me. 不，他不会再犯了 他为了我戒掉了 
This guy has been obsessed with your sister for God knows how long. 那傢伙迷恋你妹妹 天晓得到底有多久了 
You don't just give that up. 你不能就这样算了 
He gave me his night-vision goggles and everything. 他把他的夜视镜 和一切东西都交给我了 
You're taking the word of a guy who has night-vision goggles? 一个有夜视镜的人 他说的话你也敢信？ 
He's not still following her. You think he's still following her? 他不再跟踪他了 你觉得他还在跟踪她吗？ 
Wake up and smell the restraining order. 快醒醒，感觉一下 什么叫禁制令吧 
What should I do? 你说我该怎么办？ 
If you really like this guy, you should just trust him. 若你真的很喜欢他 应该相信他才是 
Thank you,Monica. 谢谢你，摩妮卡 
Or you could follow him. 或者你该跟踪他，看他去哪里 
That's what I'd do. Forget mine. 我也会这么做 忘了我刚说的吧 
What happened? 天啊，发生什么事？ 
Crazy Chandler spun me... 钱德发神经，把我转一圈… 
...off the bed. 然后推下床 
Wow! Spinning! Sounds like fun. 转圈圈啊，听起来很好玩 
I wish. 我倒希望 
He was just trying Ross' "hug and roll" thing. 他只是在试罗斯的 那套“拥抱与翻滚” 
Where he hugs you and then he rolls you away,and.... 当他抱住你 把你滚到旁边，再… 
Oh... my...God! 我的天啊！ 
What are you doing? 你在做什么？ 
Oh,I was just here looking for my... my.... 我只是在找我的… 
Part of an old sandwich. Here it is! 吃过的旧三明治…在这里！ 
Were you following me? 你在跟踪我吗？ 
Perhaps. 可能吧 
Yes. I'm sorry. 是的，我很抱歉 
I was afraid you were still hung up on my sister. 我怕你仍然迷恋我妹妹 
So you spied on me. 所以你在监视我 
I can't believe you don't trust me. 我真不敢相信你不信任我 
Well,what do you know? There goes my identical twin sister! 你怎么会知道呢？ 我的双胞胎妹妹正好经过！ 
Just walking along,looking like me. 一直走着 跟我长得一模一样 
Is this a freakish coincidence,or did you know she takes this train? 这是个奇异的巧合 还是你早知道她会搭这班车？ 
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 对不起… 
I tried to stop, but I couldn't. 我试着停止，但控制不了 
I'm so pathetic. 我真可悲 
No,it's not your fault. It's partly my fault. 不，不是你的错，我也有错 
I made you quit cold turkey. 是我要你断然戒除这个毛病 
Well,I can't date you anymore because you're,you know.... 我不能再跟你约会了 因为你是，你知道的… 
Wow! 哇！ 
But I will definitely help you get over my sister. Okay? 但我一定会帮你 忘了我妹妹，好吗？ 
Stalk me for a while,huh? 试着跟踪我一阵子，好吗？ 
I'll be like an Ursula patch. 我就暂时帮你 戒除对乌苏拉的迷恋 
I don't know. 我不知道 
Just.... Look,I'm going! 你就…你看，我正在走路！ 
Come on. 来吧 
I'm on the pillar. Which way will I go? 我遇到柱子了 我会往哪边走？ 
-Where you going? -To the bank. 你要去哪里？ 我要去银行 
Sperm or regular? 精子银行还是一般的 
Sperm. 精子银行 
You're really doing it? 你确定要做这件事？ 
Oh,yeah. I picked a guy. 37135. 是啊，我挑了一个男的 编号37135 
Sounds nice. 听起来不错 
He does. He's got brown hair and green eyes. 的确，他有棕发和绿眼睛 
No kidding? 不是开玩笑吧？ 
I figured you'd have picked a blond. 我以为你会选金发的 
Really? Why? 真的吗？为什么？ 
I always pictured you with a tall, smart,blond guy with a name like... 我总是想像你和一个 高大聪明的金发男子，叫… 
...Hoyt. “荷依”这样的名字 
It's a name. Yeah. 那是个名字，没错 
I saw you in this great house with a big pool. 我看到你在一间很棒的 有泳池的大房子 
Is he a swimmer? 他是游泳选手吗？ 
He's got the body for it. 他可是有那种身材的 
I like that. 我喜欢 
What? 什么？ 
You have a sign that says: 你们有个牌子写着… 
"We don't swim in your toilet. Don't pee in our pool." “我们不在你的厕所游泳 所以别在我们的池子尿尿” 
We don't have that sign. 我们才不会有那种牌子 
You do! It was a gift from me. 你会有的 那是我送的礼物 
And you have three great kids. 然后你会有很棒的孩子 
Two girls and a boy? 两个女孩和一个男孩？ 
And they wear little water wings, and they run around on the deck. 他们戴着手臂浮圈 绕着泳池边跑 
And Hoyt wraps a towel around all three of them. 然后荷依用毛巾围住他们三个 
Sure. 当然 
But,you know, this way sounds good too. 但是，你知道 这样听起来也不错 
Yeah. 是啊 
Wow! This guy's an astronaut? 这傢伙是太空人？ 
That would have been cool... 这样虽然很棒… 
...for a day. 也不会维持多久 
I called the sperm bank. 我打电话给精子银行 
They haven't sold a single unit of Tribbiani. 崔比亚尼的小傢伙 一点儿也没卖出去 
Nobody wants my product. 没有人要我出产的 
I don't get it. 我不懂 
Maybe if they met me in person. 可能他们没亲眼见到我