[00:02.910]-Shut up. -Tell me what?
[00:05.320]You won't look at him.
[00:06.920]I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
[00:11.090]All right. All right. Last night,I had a dream...
[00:15.830]...that you and I were
[00:18.400]Doing it on this table.
[00:22.500]Excellent dream score.
[00:28.910]Why would you dream that?
[00:32.410]More importantly...
[00:34.010]...was I any good?
[00:36.720]Well,you were pretty damn good.
[00:39.720]Interesting. In my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.
[00:45.220]Last night,you seemed to know your way around the table.
[00:52.300]I love it when we share.
[00:58.600]You okay?
[00:59:000]I cant believe you two have sex in the dream!
[01:03.710]Sorry,it was a one-time thing.
[01:05.880]I was very drunk,and it was someone else's subconscious.
[01:10.820]The One With The lck Factor
[01:59.330]Hello,Rachel.
[02:01.200]Get off.
[02:05.270]Ooh,give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?
[02:15.780]Why would you want to?
[02:18.650]For short-term work. Till I get back my massage clients.
[02:22.820]Pirates again?
[02:25.060]No. Nothing like that.
[02:27.730]I'm just such a dummy.
[02:30.130]I taught a "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. And they are.
[02:36.100]Hey,Chan,she could work for you.
[02:39.100]Thanks,Joey. That's a good idea.
[02:41.910]I could. I could do it. What is it?
[02:45.010]My secretary's gonna be out. She's having one of her boobs reduced.
[02:50.480]It's a whole big boob story.
[02:53.320]-I could be a secretary. -I don't know if it'd be your thing... -
[02:58.000]... because it involves being normal for a large portion of the day. -
[03:03.290]I could do that.
[03:06.560]-What's that? -My new beeper.
[03:08.930]Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?
[03:11.640]Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help. They're still extinct.
[03:17.240]It's for when Carol goes into labor.
[03:25.420]A cool number and a possible name for the kid.
[03:29.090]-See you later. -Off to see young Ethan? -
[03:32.220]Thank you.
[03:34.490]How young is young Ethan? Young?
[03:38.100]He's our age.
[03:40.570]When we were....
[03:45.900]-He's a senior in college. -College? -
[03:49.670]Rob that cradle.
[03:52.580]He's smart and mature and grown-up.
[03:56.410]Mature and grown-up,he's a big boy.
[04:01.690]This man-child has no problem with how old you are?
[04:04.860]No,of course not. It's not even an issue...
[04:08.260]... because I said I was 22.
[04:10.130]-You what? -What?
[04:11.630]-Oh,I can't pass for 22? -Well,maybe 25,26.
[04:15.430]-I am 26. -There you go.
[04:30.920]Can you hear that?
[04:36.550]That'll stop when you pick up the phone.
[04:41.460]-Oh,I'm on. -Okay.
[04:45.500]Mr. Bing's office.
[04:49.800]-Sorry,he's in a meeting. -I'm not in a meeting. -
[04:54.070]Will he know what this is in reference to?
[04:58.810]I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye.
[05:05.080]Ross says hi.
[05:07.620]This is so fun. What do we do now?
[05:10.460]Well,now I actually have to get to work.
[05:13.520]"Most likely."
[05:19.200]Okay,I'm gonna be out there.
[05:21.630]All right. Bye-bye.
[05:23.770]Bye-bye.
[05:30.880]-Yes? -What you doing?
[05:40.550]BeIt's too tight. Gotta change.
[05:43.090]Did I turn the fish? Nope,because I made lasagna.
[05:47.790]-Am I out of control? -Just a touch. -
[05:51.660]I don't understand. You've been dating this guy since...
[05:55.630]... his midterms. …
[05:58.240]Why,all of a sudden, are you so...?
[06:04.810]-What? -Could tonight be the night?
[06:11.020]I don't know. He's a great guy...
[06:14.190]...and I love being with him. But,you know...
[06:17.860]...things happen when they happen. You don't plan these things.
[06:23.130]-So,did you shave your legs? -Yeah. -
[06:29.930]Would you let it go? It was just a dream.
[06:33.140]It doesn't mean
[06:36.710]This is it. It's baby time!
[06:39.240]All right,relax. Just relax. Be cool.
[06:47.590]No,Andre is not here. Third time today.
[06:52.560]Yes,I am sure.
[06:55.330]I do not perform those kind of services.
[06:58.930]Services?
[07:00.670]Oh,services.
[07:02.570]Yeah,you want 55-JUMBO.
[07:09.640]That's right.
[07:11.310]That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir.
[07:14.580]You don't want me.
[07:16.350]Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment.
[07:20.790]Alrighty,bye-bye.
[07:26.690]How was the first day?
[07:28.760]Excellent. Everyone was so,so nice.
[07:32.300]It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.
[07:36.330]Me.
[07:39.270]-I didn't tell anyone I knew you. -Why? -
[07:44.710]They don't like you.
[07:50.010]-What? -I thought you knew. -
[07:55.150]-Who doesn't like me? -Everyone. -
[07:58.460]Except for....
[08:00.360]No. Everyone.
[08:04.700]-What are you talking about? -Don't feel bad. -
[08:10.400]But you got promoted,and now you're Mr. Boss Man. Mr. Big.
[08:15.410]Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.
[08:19.640]-I can't believe it. -Yeah. They even do you. -
[08:24.650]They "do" me?
[08:26.850]You know,like,okay:
[08:29.320]"Could that report be any later?"
[08:37.360]-I don't sound like that. -Yeah,you do. -
[08:45.300]...of music."
[08:52.640]"My scone. My scone."
[08:57.780]I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
[09:03.320]That is so not That is so not
[09:05.560]That Oh,shut up.
[09:11.330]-Did not. -Up until I was 9... -
[09:14.230]... I thought "gunpoint" was a place where crimes happened.
[09:17.900]-How's that possible? -It's always on the news. -
[09:21.140]"A man is being held up at Gunpoint."
[09:23.940]"Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."
[09:26.740]And I kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there?"
[09:35.590]I should go.
[09:46.600]-Unless -What?
[09:49.800]Unless you wanna stay over.
[09:52.170]I mean,I'm going to. So....
[09:56.640]Yeah,I'd really like that.
[10:06.050]Before we get into any staying-over stuff...
[10:10.560]...there's something you should know.
[10:13.220]Is this,like, "I have an early class tomorrow"...
[10:16.730]...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"?
[10:19.900]Well,it's somewhere in between.
[10:23.700]You see,in a strictly technical sense,of course,I'm not....
[10:28.140]Well,I mean,I haven't ever....
[10:31.210]Ethan?
[10:33.180]Are you a virgin?
[10:34.880]If that's what you kids are calling it these days,then...
[10:39.250]...yes,I am.
[10:43.420]I mean,you're just such a good kisser I would never have known.
[10:48.330]Well,I've excelled at every level I've been to,I just....
[10:55.200]I just haven't been to that particular one yet.
[10:59.340]I've kind of been waiting for the right person.
[11:04.110]-Really? -Yeah.
[11:07.750]You do know I was talking about you,right?
[11:19.190]Wow.
[11:21.760]You keep saying that.
[11:23.860]You know,you read about it. You see it in the movies.
[11:27.530]Even when you practice it at home, man,oh,man...
[11:31.540]...it is nothing like that.
[11:36.810]Listen,listen.
[11:40.610]You told me something that was really difficult for you.
[11:45.080]And I figure if you can be honest,then I can too.
[11:55.000]Nothing wrong about that.
[12:00.630]Here goes.
[12:03.470]I'm not 22.
[12:09.610]...and 1 3 months.
[12:17.750]What does it matter how old we are? Basically,I'm nuts about you.
[12:22.890]I knew after the first time we kissed. You didn't mention the Tic Tac.
[12:28.030]I just thought you were naturally minty.
[12:34.630]Listen...
[12:36.600]...as long as we're telling stuff...
[12:40.770]... I have another one for you.
[12:43.610]I'm a little younger than I said.
[12:48.110]-You're not a senior? -Oh,I'm a senior... -
[12:55.720]...in high school.
[13:08.500]What we did was wrong.
[13:10.570]I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.
[13:18.310]I just had sex.
[13:22.680]Ethan,focus. How could you not tell me?
[13:26.220]-You never said your age. -It's different. -
[13:29.050]My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.
[13:33.890]-What were you thinking? -I was too busy falling -
[13:37.230]-Don't say it. -ln love with you.
[13:45.070]Well,fall out of it.
[13:46.800]You shouldn't be here. It's a school night.
[13:52.240]Oh,God.
[13:54.310]I'm like those women that you see...
[13:56.810]...with shiny guys named Chad.
[14:02.420]I'm Joan Collins.
[14:07.590]Who?
[14:17.170]Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.
[14:23.510]Yes,sir,the kimonos are extra.
[14:28.110]Alrighty. Bye-bye.
[14:32.450]It's just easier that way.
[14:36.250]-You told me about the last dream. -No. Forget it. -
[14:40.620]Why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy?
[14:46.760]All right. Fine.
[14:53.640]Joey was there too.
[14:57.270]All right.
[15:05.250]...anybody else there?
[15:09.220]You sure? Nobody...
[15:11.420]... handing out mints or anything? …
[15:16.060]No,it was just the three of us.
[15:20.730]So was it you and Chandler...
[15:22.730]...then you and me, or you,me and Chandler?
[15:27.500]-You know what? -What?
[15:30.470]There were times...
[15:32.580]...when it wasn't even me. …
[15:44.420]That is so sweet,you guys.
[15:53.530]Mon,Ethan called again.
[16:02.640]-What? -Ethan called again. -
[16:06.440]-You're not seeing him anymore? -No. -
[16:09.780]Sometimes,things don't work out.
[16:12.380]This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym?
[16:20.620]I did not say anything. I swear.
[16:23.930]-He stopped by. -Next time you talk to him... -
[16:33.140]Oh,my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now?
[16:37.140]Sorry.
[16:39.010]"It's morphin'time."
[16:40.640]-Stegosaurus. -Tyrannosaurus.
[16:47.890]I gotta go.
[16:49.590]Head rush.
[16:53.090]One more,and then I have to go.
[16:56.030]Cool.
[17:00.900]Where you going?
[17:02.770]A birthday party with some work people.
[17:05.600]Work people? Nobody told me.
[17:09.540]I know. That's part of the whole...
[17:12.040]...them-not-liking-you extravaganza. …
[17:16.650]A month ago, these people were my friends.
[17:19.920]I'm in charge, but I'm not a different person.
[17:23.250]Then come,hang out. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
[17:28.290]-You think I should? -I really do. -
[17:32.560]But could we not go together?
[17:35.900]I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss.
[17:43.410]-Hey,you okay? -Yeah.
[17:46.240]-This can't be easy for him either. -I know. -
[17:51.080]This may take some time for him to get over it...
[17:55.420]... but,then at four, Muppet Babies is on.
[18:06.000]Go deep. Deep. Deep.
[18:10.770]Sorry,Shelly.
[18:14.870]See,with the fun?
[18:18.310]Last night was great.
[18:20.040]The karaoke thing? Tracy and I doing "Ebony and lvory."
[18:27.480]-What? -Now you're Mr. Caring Boss. -
[18:30.450]Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss. “
[18:32.190]Mr. I-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing. “
[18:36.290]Then I don't get it.
[18:38.800]You know what? I think you just gotta face it.
[18:42.770]You're the guy in the big office.
[18:45.440]You're the one that hires and fires them.
[18:48.540]-They say you're a great boss. -They do? -
[18:52.440]But they're not your friends anymore.
[18:55.150]-I just want -But you can't. -
[18:58.120]But I just want
[19:10.060]Are you gonna?
[19:11.330]Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 9-1 -1...
[19:15.300]...she's having a baby. Otherwise,I just ignore it.
[19:18.900]What about Andre?
[19:20.370]He got a call from our cousin,Nathan.
[19:23.640]Frankly,it was a little more than I needed to know.
[19:35.150]That was gonna be my opener.
[19:38.020]Have you guys seen those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
[19:42.090]-I thought that was just a rumor. -True story. -
[19:49.030]Look,I gotta tell you something.
[19:51.500]I'm not 1 7. I said that so you'd think I was vulnerable.
[19:55.540]I'm actually 30. I have a wife and a job. I'm your congressman.
[20:01.310]This is ridiculous. We're great together.
[20:04.210]We can talk,make each other laugh,and the sex....
[20:08.350]I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great.
[20:12.460]-lt was. -Then what's the problem? -
[20:21.060]It's icky.
[20:23.330]"lcky"? “lcky”?
[20:24.870]You're actually gonna throw this away because it's "icky"?
[20:29.640]This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different.
[20:36.780]...or we lived in biblical times...
[20:40.450]-... I could really -No,don't say it. -
[20:43.220]Love you.
[20:48.860]-Are your hands still wet? -Moist. -
[20:51.460]Let's dry them again.
[20:59.240]Or,like,"Could these margaritas be any stronger?"
[21:04.880]Hey,Chandler.
[21:06.310]Hello,Mr. Bing.
[21:07.880]Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
[21:12.080]Thanks. About the weekly numbers,I'm gonna need them on my desk by 9:00.
[21:17.420]-Sure. -No problem.
[21:22.360]You have to give them something.
[21:24.660]That was Gerston,Santos,and who's the other guy?
[21:28.130]-Petrie. -Petrie. Right,okay.
[21:30.270]Well,some people are gonna be working...
[21:33.100]...this weekend. …
[22:04.640]Oh,that's nice.
[22:12.040]Ross.
[22:23.650]I'm here.
[22:27.220]You are?
[22:34.030]We were just....
[22:37.670]What?
[22:41.910]-Great. Now I'm having a baby. -What? -
[22:46.580]I'm having a baby. I'm having a
[22:50.010]-The phone,the phone. -I don't have the phone.
[22:57.120]I'm hurt.
[23:02.890]Let's go. Come on,people. Woman in labor.
[23:06.230]-Look what I got going. -Save it for the cab. -
[23:10.400]We're going to a hospital.
[23:12.940]I can't look nice? There are doctors there.
[23:16.370]-Joey,get out of the fridge. -All right. -
[23:20.280]-What is that? -For the ride. -
[23:22.450]-Like in a cab -Save it. -
[23:24.350]-Hating this. -Monica,come on. Let's go. -
[23:27.650]Baby coming.
[23:28.850]I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt.
[23:31.620]-I'll have a nephew. -That's nice. Get out. -
[23:38.560]All right,I'm going. I'm going.
[23:48.040]Here we go. Come on.