[03:56.-4]-What? -Joey cried last night. -
[05:47.-3]Here we go.
[07:08.-2]Sorry to break up this party,but I've got to go fax resumes before work.
[09:55.-2]You believe what a jerk Ross was being?
[10:34.-4]Saks Fifth Avenue.
[12:16.-1]Ross,could we please listen to anything else?
[14:34.-4]Could you be any smugger?
[20:28.-2]Five-card draw. Jacks are better. Nothing wild. Everybody,ante.
[24:21.-2]Airport '77! Airport '79!
[00:14.16]We're running low on resumes.
[00:16.53]You want a job with Popular Mechanics?
[00:19.50]If you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones.
[00:23.94]Guys,I'm going for anything here. I can't be a waitress anymore.
[00:28.81]I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called "Excuse Me."
[00:34.68]-Paper cut! Paper cut! -Here.
[00:40.89]Grapefruit juice! Grapefruit juice!
[00:44.66]Okay,we're almost done. Only 20 more to go.
[00:48.03]-Rach,did you proofread these? -Yeah. Why? -
[00:53.13]Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your "compuper" skills.
[00:58.20]Oh,my God! Do you think it's on all of them?
[01:06.41]No,I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
[01:19.66]The One With the Poker
[02:09.27]They call this a love seat but I'm not feeling anything special towards you.
[02:24.69]-Hey,guys. -Hey.
[02:27.46]Hi,ladies.
[02:29.26]Can I get you anything? Did you bring the mail?
[02:32.93]-Lots of responses. -Really? Sure,we have scones left! -
[02:37.84]Read them.
[02:39.04]"Dear Miss Greene: Thank you for your inquiry. However"
[02:44.44]-We have apple cinnamon -"Dear Ms. Greene...." Yeah,yeah! No. -
[02:53.02]-What? -Your Visa bill is huge! -
[02:56.72]Give me that.
[02:58.36]Linda's great. Why won't you go out with her?
[03:01.73]-I don't know. -ls this about her... -
[03:04.23]... "The Flintstones could have really happened" thing?
[03:07.73]It's not just that. I want someone who does something for me...
[03:12.57]...who gets my heart pounding.
[03:15.67]Who makes me....
[03:19.28]Little playthings with yarn?
[03:23.35]What?
[03:24.92]Could you want her more?
[03:28.19]Who?
[03:29.39]Dee,the sarcastic sister from What's Happening!!.
[03:40.33]Look,I'm totally over her.
[03:43.30]-Hi! -Coffee?
[03:44.80]-No,we're fine. -Okay. -
[03:52.71]-Shut up! -We're not saying anything. -
[03:59.88]-Thank you. -We were playing poker -
[04:03.45]There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight.
[04:07.93]You should have seen him. "Read them and weep!"
[04:11.60]And then he did.
[04:14.63]Now,how come you guys have never played poker with us?
[04:18.64]Yeah,what is that? Like some kind of sexist guy thing?
[04:22.94]-It's poker,so only guys can play? -No. Women can play. -
[04:27.31]Then,what is it? Some kind of,like, some kind of,you know
[04:32.28]All right,what is it?
[04:35.79]There are just no women in our game.
[04:38.12]We just don't know any women who know how to play poker.
[04:42.13]That is a lame excuse. It's a typical guy response.
[04:45.76]Do you know how to play?
[04:48.30]No.
[04:51.27]-But you could teach us. -No. -
[04:59.08]Okay,so now we draw cards.
[05:06.25]So I wouldn't need any. I have a straight.
[05:09.12]-Oh,good for you! -Congratulations!
[05:14.49]-Pheebs,how many do you want? -I just need two. -
[05:18.53]The 10 of spades and the 6 of clubs.
[05:23.30]-No,you can't -I have the 10 of spades! Here. -
[05:26.84]Thanks!
[05:29.81]-No,you can't do that. -Don't need them. I'm going for fours. -
[05:34.65]Oh,you're
[05:37.62]You're going for fours. Chandler,could you? Thanks,man.
[05:48.33]We've got salmon roulettes and crudites.
[05:51.63]What are you doing?
[05:53.67]In poker,there's no food with more than one syllable.
[05:57.70]It's got to be like chips or dip or pretz
[06:03.04]I hope you'll let it slide just this once. I was all out of "pretz."
[06:09.68]Now the dealer
[06:11.15]We got it. Let's play for real. High stakes. Big bucks!
[06:15.09]You sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy.
[06:23.80]But I'm ready. So just deal.
[06:26.93]Okay,last-minute lesson! Joey....
[06:30.17]Three.
[06:31.80]Eight.
[06:33.37]Eight. Three. All right,very good.
[06:40.61]Damn it,damn it,damn it!
[06:42.68]Joey had two fives showing, so for you to raise was
[06:46.42]Yes?
[06:48.32]Downright gutsy.
[06:52.92]-I see,so you were lying. -About what?
[06:56.13]-About how good your cards were. -I was bluffing. -
[07:00.23]And what is bluffing?
[07:04.57]Is it not another word for lying?
[07:13.38]-We've got to settle. -Settle what?
[07:17.45]The Jamestown colony of Virginia.
[07:21.79]See,King George is giving us the land....
[07:27.66]-The game,Rachel. You owe us money. -Right. -
[07:32.03]It's their first time. Let's forget about the money.
[07:35.90]Hell,no. We'll pay!
[07:38.74]Monica,I had another answer all ready.
[07:43.44]And you know what? We want a rematch.
[07:46.28]That's fine with me. Could use some money.
[07:51.42]-You're enjoying this,aren't you? -Well,yeah,I am. -
[07:56.85]So you get your ya-yas by taking money from your friends.
[08:02.66]Yes,and I get my ya-yas from KEA.
[08:07.43]You have to put them together yourself,but they cost less.
[08:12.17]Look,this is poker. I play to win.
[08:15.24]For me to win, others have to lose.
[08:17.91]If you're gonna play, don't expect me to be nice.
[08:21.65]Because once those cards are dealt....
[08:33.76]Yeah?
[08:38.46]I'm not a nice guy.
[08:47.47]All right,let's eat.
[08:49.34]Did you get that from the "I Love Rachel Pizzeria"?
[08:53.61]-You still on that? -What was with that Black Bart speech? -
[08:57.65]"When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy."
[09:01.75]You're way off.
[09:03.39]No,I don't think so, because I think you love her!
[09:07.76]No. I might have had feelings for her at one time. Not anymore.
[09:12.66]I just
[09:13.93]Marcel! Where are you going with that disk?
[09:17.47]You are not putting that on again.
[09:20.17]If you press that button, you are in very big trouble.
[09:57.81]-Yeah,I know. -He can get really competitive. -
[10:03.81]What?
[10:05.68]"Hello,kettle? This is Monica. You're black!"
[10:09.12]Please!
[10:13.66]I'm not as bad as Ross.
[10:16.03]I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
[10:20.00]That wasn't an incident.
[10:22.00]I was gesturing and the plate slipped out of my hand.
[10:30.34]-I got an interview! -You're kidding! Where? -
[10:36.91]Oh,Rachel!
[10:39.08]It's like the mother ship is calling you home.
[10:46.02]-What's the job? -Assistant buyer. -
[10:50.60]I would be shopping!
[10:54.13]For a living!
[10:57.94]That's Aunt lris. She's been playing poker since she was 5.
[11:02.11]You've got to listen to every word she says.
[11:05.58]-ls Tony Randall dead? -I don't think so. -
[11:08.68]-He may be now. I hit him with my car. -My God,really? -
[11:12.55]No,that's bluffing. Lesson number one.
[11:17.39]Let me tell you something. Everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap!
[11:23.09]-Nice earrings. -Thank you.
[11:27.83]-Girls,sit down. -Aunt lris,this is Phoebe and Rachel. -
[11:32.80]Listen,I'm parked at a meter. Let's do it. Okay?
[11:37.58]We'll start with five-card draw.
[11:40.24]Then we'll go into the studs and the hold 'ems. I talked to Cousin Nathan.
[11:46.38]Don't touch the cards when somebody is dealing.
[11:54.56]How is Nathan?
[11:55.86]Now he thinks he's a man in a woman's body.
[11:59.63]Don't you mean a woman in a man's body?
[12:03.17]It should be so simple.
[12:19.62]All right.
[12:37.50]I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
[12:45.11]Hi. Guys,guess what?
[12:47.78]The fifth dentist caved,and now they're all recommending Trident?
[12:58.62]No,the interview!
[13:01.13]Unbelievable! She absolutely loved me.
[13:04.20]We talked for over two hours. We've the same taste in clothes.
[13:08.30]And I went to camp with her cousin.
[13:10.94]-The job is perfect! I can do this. -That's great! -
[13:15.61]-Then she told a funny story. -Great,tell us and we'll laugh. -
[13:19.91]Let's play poker!
[13:23.38]Listen,we talked about it and if you don't wanna play,it's okay.
[13:28.09]Yes,we can play some other game. Like Pictionary?
[13:34.83]Very funny.
[13:36.39]-But we'd like to try poker again. -Yes,I think we should. -
[13:40.63]-Do you want me to shuffle those? -That's okay,I'm gonna give it a go. -
[13:55.18]So Pheebs owes $7. 50. Monica owes $10.00.
[13:58.38]And Rachel,you owe 1 5 big ones!
[14:02.22]Thanks for teaching us Cross-Eyed Mary. We gotta play that other way.
[14:08.39]All right,here's my $7.50. But this money is cursed.
[14:12.50]-What? -I cursed it!
[14:16.47]Now bad things will happen to the spender.
[14:19.64]I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway.
[14:24.04]This way,I can split them up with a movie.
[14:27.14]So that just leaves the big Greene poker machine,who owes 1 5.
[14:36.72]Let's see. Rach,I'm opening up a new art gallery...
[14:40.52]...and I could sure use the portraits of Lincoln and Hamilton.
[14:47.06]It's so typical. "I'm a man! I have a penis!
[14:51.44]I have to win money to exert my power over women!"
[14:58.71]This isn't over.
[15:00.58]We'll play you again. We'll win. You'll lose.
[15:03.85]You'll beg. We'll laugh.
[15:05.78]We'll take every last dime you have. And you'll hate yourselves forever!
[15:13.19]Kind of stepped on my point there,Mon.
[15:16.49]I can't believe you lost! How much did they take?
[15:20.10]Like 30 bucks.
[15:22.20]-I'll give you that money back. -Really? -
[15:25.10]No,I'm bluffing! You guys haven't learned crap!
[15:31.74]-Hand me the cards! -Can l?
[15:34.58]Yes!
[15:42.45]Wanna give us your money now? We can skip the formality of really playing.
[15:48.66]No,that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh,monkey boy.
[15:55.90]Done with chitchat? Ready for serious poker?
[15:59.27]You guys,look! The one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go.
[16:04.64]Right. Serious poker.
[16:06.71]-Mon,got any more of those salmon? -You want to eat or play poker? -
[16:11.62]-Where are you going? -To the bathroom. -
[16:15.00]Want to go to the bathroom or play poker?
[16:18.00]Go to the bathroom.
[16:22.00]-Well,I'm gonna order a pizza. -No! -
[16:24.80]I'm waiting to hear from that job. The store closes at 9:00. Eat then.
[16:29.90]That's fine. I'll just have a Tic Tac to hold me over.
[16:34.81]All right. Cincinnati. No blinds. Everybody,ante.
[16:39.34]Yes!
[16:41.55]Or no.
[16:45.35]-All right! Your money's mine,Greene. -Your fly's open,Geller. -
[16:56.36]You know what I just realized? Joker is poker with a "J"!
[17:04.70]Coincidence?
[17:07.44]That's jo-incidence with a "C"!
[17:21.92]-Phoebe? -Yeah,I'm out.
[17:26.19]-I'm in. -Me too. -
[17:29.03]Me too. What do you got?
[17:31.56]You better hop out of the shower, because I got a flush.
[17:39.20]Well,well,well!
[17:41.11]Hop back in,bucko, because I got four sixes!
[17:46.11]I got four sixes! I won! I actually won! Oh,my God!
[17:50.35]You know what? I'll make a little Ross pile.
[17:53.65]Look!
[17:55.02]I think that one was Ross'. And I think that one was Ross'.
[18:01.33]Well,I have got your money And you'll never see it
[18:05.40]And your fly's still open
[18:07.90]I made you look
[18:12.74]-I'm in. -I couldn't be in-er. -
[18:15.54]Monica,in or out?
[18:18.54]I hate this game!
[18:28.49]Joey,your bet.
[18:30.12]I fold like a hooker who got hit in the stomach...
[18:33.62]... by a fat guy with sores on his face.
[18:40.10]I'm out.
[18:42.87]-Ross? -I'm very in.
[18:46.67]-Chandler? -Couldn't be more out.
[18:49.14]Me too. Rachel?
[18:52.34]I will see you and I'll raise you. Do you wanna waste another buck?
[18:59.28]No,not this time. What did you have?
[19:02.25]-I'm not telling. -Show them. -
[19:04.35]-No. -Show them!
[19:05.62]-Get your hands out of there! -I've had dates like this. -
[19:11.93]Boy,you really can't stand to lose,can you?
[19:15.27]Your whole face is getting red. Veins popping out of your temple!
[19:20.74]Plus,that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
[19:27.91]-I'm not losing. -You're definitely losing. -
[19:31.45]Hello. Rachel Greene.
[19:35.29]Excuse me. It's about the job!
[19:38.76]Barbara,hi! How are you?
[19:45.90]No,I understand.
[19:49.70]Come on. No,I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah.
[19:54.17]But if anything else opens up,please
[19:58.14]Hello?
[20:17.93]Sorry,Rach.
[20:19.63]There's gonna be lots of other stuff.
[20:22.77]Okay.
[20:25.24]Where were we? Where were we?
[20:34.58]-Look,Rach,we don't have to do this. -Yes,we do. -
[20:41.62]-All right. Check. -Check.
[20:44.09]-I'm in for 50 cents. -Call.
[20:47.42]I'm in.
[20:49.63]I see your 50 cents...
[20:52.43]...and I raise you $5.
[20:56.77]I thought it was a 50-cent limit.
[20:59.30]I just lost a job, I'd like to raise it $5.
[21:02.44]Does anyone have a problem with that?
[21:05.48]-Not at all. -No. -
[21:11.85]Loser?
[21:21.26]-No,I fold. -What do you mean,you fold? -
[21:25.36]I thought that,"Once the cards are dealt,I'm not a nice guy."
[21:30.00]Were you just full of it?
[21:45.72]I'm in.
[21:47.62]-How many do you want? -One. -
[21:51.29]Dealer takes two.
[21:53.59]-What do you bet? -I bet $2. -
[21:58.16]Okay. I see your $2...
[22:01.27]...and I raise you...
[22:05.27]... 20.
[22:11.78]I see your $20...
[22:14.71]... raise you $25.
[22:22.19]I see your $25 and Monica,get my purse.
[22:32.06]Rachel,there's nothing in it.
[22:35.73]Okay,then get me your purse.
[22:43.24]-Here you go. Good luck! -Thank you.
[22:46.64]I saw your $25 and I raise you...
[22:50.75]...seven. …
[22:53.32]teen! 1
[23:02.93]Joey,I'm a little shy.
[23:05.83]That's okay,Ross. You can ask me.
[23:14.94]-What do you need? -1 5. -要多少? -15块
[23:17.11]-Here's 10. -I got 5. -这里有10块 -我这里有5块
[23:19.24]-Thank you. -Good luck. -
[23:22.35]I am calling your 1 7.
[23:25.28]What do you got?
[23:37.69]Full house.
[23:46.17]You got me.
[23:58.45]-That's tough to beat. -I thought we had it! -
[24:01.45]When you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards.
[24:05.56]But look how happy she is.
[24:17.87]-Airmail. -Airplane. Airport. Airport '75!
[24:24.81]Time's up!
[24:26.61]Bye Bye Birdie!
[24:31.08]That's a bird?
[24:33.38]That's a bird!
[24:36.42]Okay,it's my turn.
[24:40.39]Go!
[24:44.03]Bean! Bean!
[24:47.90]The Unbearable Lightness of Being!
[24:53.64]That you get?
[24:55.54]That you get?!