[00:40.-4]Really,really awful.
[03:45.-2]Chandler,you' re still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays?
[04:35.-4]...ooh,ooh,lesbian life partner.
[05:23.-2]Wow,you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
[06:12.-1]Yeah,all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
[06:44.-4]If she's talking to it,I just think I should get some belly time too.
[08:19.-1]-I'm 9 years old. -I hate this story! -
[08:56.-4]They don't They don't come in these.
[12:02.-2]I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.
[15:05.-4]Okay. Okay
[16:59.-3]How's it going?
[19:39.-3]Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes are ruined!
[21:14.-4]All right,Ugly Naked Guy!
[22:42.-2]...we wouldn't be together.
[00:07.15]Terry,I know I haven't worked here very long but would it be possible...
[00:12.49]...if I got a $1 00 advance on my salary?
[00:16.16]An advance?
[00:17.66]So I can spend Thanksgiving with my family.
[00:20.80]Every year we ski in Vail, and my father pays for my ticket.
[00:25.14]But I've started this independent thing...
[00:28.37]...which is actually why I took this "job. "
[00:33.04]Rachel,Rachel,sweetheart!
[00:36.61]You' re a terrible,terrible waitress.
[00:44.02]I hear what you're saying. I'm with you.
[00:49.19]But I'm trying really hard, and I think I'm doing better.
[00:53.70]I really do.
[00:56.13]-Does anybody need coffee? -Yeah,over here. -
[01:02.64]Look at that.
[01:04.01]The One Where Underdog Gets Away
[01:52.52]Excuse me,sir? Hi. You come in here all the time.
[01:56.29]Do you think there's a possibility that you could advance me my tips?
[02:02.77]Okay,okay. That's fine. Fine. Sorry about that spill before!
[02:09.31]Only 98.50 to go!
[02:12.74]Did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
[02:17.68]-What? No,they're not. -Yes,the Blymans invited them. -
[02:21.89]You' re wrong.
[02:24.32]-I am not wrong. -You' re wrong. -
[02:28.13]No,I just talked to them.
[02:31.56]I' m calling Mom.
[02:38.00]-Hey,hey. -Hey!
[02:41.74]And this from the Cry for Help Department: Are you wearing makeup?
[02:48.08]Yes,I am. As of today,I'm officially Joey T ribbiani,actor/model.
[02:54.32]That's funny. I was thinking you look more like,Joey T ribbiani,man/woman.
[03:01.00]-What were you modeling for? -Posters for the free clinic. -
[03:05.06]So you' re gonna be one of those healthy guys?
[03:08.83]-The asthma guy's really cute. -Know which one you'll be? -
[03:13.07]No,but I hear Lyme disease is open,so you know....
[03:17.38]-Good luck,man. I hope you get it. -Thanks. -
[03:24.58]You were right. How can they do this? It's Thanksgiving!
[03:28.82]What if I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.
[03:33.56]Will you make mashed potatoes with the lumps?
[03:37.40]They're not actually supposed to I'll work on the lumps.
[03:42.80]-Joey,you' re going home? -Yeah.
[03:50.11]-Every single one of them. -Phoebe,you'll be with your grandma? -
[03:54.68]And her boyfriend.
[03:56.25]We're celebrating Thanksgiving in December because he's lunar.
[04:03.76]So you're free Thursday then?
[04:07.19]-Yeah. Oh,can I come?
[04:11.20]-Rach,are you gonna make it to Vail? -Absolutely. Shoop,shoop,shoop.
[04:16.67]-Only $1 02 to go. -I thought it was 98. 50? -
[04:20.51]Yeah,well,it was,but l I broke a cup,so....
[04:24.91]-Well,l' m off to Carol's. -Ooh,ooh,why don't we invite her?
[04:30.28]Ooh,ooh,because she's my ex-wife and will want to bring her...
[04:46.66]Hi. Is Carol here?
[04:49.03]-No,she's at a faculty meeting. -I just came by to pick up my skull. -
[04:54.74]Well,not mine,but....
[04:58.48]-Come in. -Thanks.
[05:00.45]Carol borrowed it,and I have to get it back to the museum.
[05:04.85]-What's it look like? -Kind of like a big face without skin. -
[05:10.59]Yes. I'm familiar with the concept.
[05:15.19]-We can just look for it. -Okay. -
[05:30.78]Well,you know, you have to take a course.
[05:36.01]Otherwise they don't let you do it.
[05:46.76]Hey,Yertle the Turtle! A classic.
[05:50.73]Actually,I'm reading it to the baby.
[05:55.70]The baby that hasn't been born yet?
[05:59.00]Wouldn't that mean you're crazy?
[06:03.94]You don't think they can hear sounds in there?
[06:07.48]You' re not serious? I mean,you really talk to it?
[06:19.52]Well,that's just Do you talk about me?
[06:24.73]-Yeah. All the time. -Really?
[06:28.10]But,we just refer to you as " Bobo the Sperm Guy.
[06:49.49]Not that I believe this.
[06:51.66]I believe it. I think the baby can hear everything.
[06:55.53]-Really? -I'll show you. This'll seem weird. -
[06:58.63]But you put your head inside this turkey...
[07:02.43]...and we'll all talk and you'll hear everything we say.
[07:07.44]I'd just like to say I'm totally behind this experiment.
[07:12.14]In fact,I'd very much like to butter your head.
[07:19.32]-Hey. -Rach,did you make your money?
[07:22.22]No,not even close. Forget Vail. Forget seeing my family.
[07:26.32]Forget shoop,shoop,shoop.
[07:31.70]-Rach,here's your mail. -Thanks. You can put it on the table.
[07:37.30]No. Here's your mail!
[07:41.74]Thanks. You can put it on the table!
[07:45.94]Would you just open it!
[07:50.35]Oh,my God! You guys are great!
[07:55.89]We all chipped in.
[07:58.36]-We did? -You owe me $20.
[08:01.23]Thank you. Thank you so much!
[08:04.00]Chandler,got your traditional holiday feast. T omato soup...
[08:08.10]...grilled-cheese fixings and a family-size bag of Funyuns.
[08:12.34]This is your Thanksgiving dinner? What is it with you and this holiday?
[08:22.41]We've finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have...
[08:26.88]...a mouthful of pumpkin pie. …
[08:29.25]And then my parents tell me they're getting divorced.
[08:33.19]Oh,my God!
[08:34.73]Very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
[08:42.80]What's this? I never saw this at Mom's.
[08:46.74]-It's a yam. -Hello.... - .
[08:50.41]This isn't a yam. Yam comes in purple cans.
[08:59.75]Ross,don't take this the wrong way or anything,but back off.
[09:18.20]Hi. Hi
[09:20.67]-We used to work together. -We did? -
[09:23.61]Yeah,at Macy's. You' re the Obsession girl,right?
[09:27.38]-Yes. -I was the Aramis guy. -
[09:31.35]-Aramis. Aramis. Aramis. -Yeah,right!
[09:37.22]-You' re the best in the business. -Get out. -
[09:40.79]You' re amazing! You know when to spritz. You know when to lay back.
[09:46.03]Really? You don't know what that means to me.
[09:51.94]You smell great tonight. What are you wearing?
[09:56.84]Nothing.
[10:07.59]-Listen,do you wanna go get a drink? -Yeah,that would be -
[10:14.33]-What's wrong? -I have to do something. -
[10:18.13]What?
[10:21.93]-Leave. -Wait,wait,wait!
[11:08.28]So I guess you all saw it.
[11:10.72]-What? -Saw what?
[11:12.25]No,we' re just laughing. You know how laughter can be infectious.
[11:35.84]Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
[11:41.48]"T onight,on a very special Blossom. "
[11:53.19]Looking good! Okay!
[11:55.13]Cider's mulling,turkey's turkeying, yams are yamming....
[12:00.33]What?
[12:06.94]Get out and stop annoying me!
[12:09.51]Oh,that's closer. oh,
[12:12.78]I got the tickets!
[12:14.75]Five hours from now, shoop,shoop,shoop!
[12:19.05]-Oh,you must stop shooping. -Okay,l' m gonna get my stuff.
[12:23.75]Will you come in?
[12:25.49]I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
[12:29.93]Look out! Incoming pumpkin pie!
[12:39.80]We laughed when you did it with the stuffing,but that's not funny.
[12:45.11]Hey,Monica,I got a question. I don't see any T ator T ots.
[12:49.65]-That's not a question. -My mom makes them. It's a tradition. -
[12:54.45]You get a piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce and a T ot!
[13:00.49]I mean,it's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
[13:07.90]All right. Fine.
[13:09.47]Tonight's potatoes will be mashed, with lumps and in the form of Tots.
[13:17.44]All right,I'm off to talk to my unborn child.
[13:22.28]Okay,Mom never hit. Ok,
[13:28.69]Okay,all done. Ok,
[13:31.09]Phoebe,did you whip the pota? Ross needs lumps!
[13:36.29]Oh,l' m sorry! I just
[13:38.20]I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.
[13:43.63]Why do that?
[13:45.20]Because then they'd be just like my mom used to make it,before she died.
[13:52.08]Okay. Three kinds of potatoes coming up.
[13:57.25]Okay. Goodbye,you guys! Thanks for everything! Ok,
[14:01.22]Oh,God,look at Sorry! I'm so sorry.
[14:06.49]An unbelievable thing happened! Underdog got away!
[14:10.56]-The balloon? -No,no,the actual cartoon character. -
[14:15.60]Of course the balloon!
[14:18.54]He broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. Macy
[14:23.51]-I'm going to the roof. Who's with me? -I can't! -
[14:27.34]An 80-foot dog over the city? How often does that happen?
[14:31.58]Almost never.
[14:33.62]-Got the keys? -Okay.
[14:41.43]Anytime you' re ready.
[14:43.86]Okay. Okay,here we go.
[14:52.20]Okay. Where am I talking to here?
[14:56.37]There is one way that offers a certain acoustical advantage,but....
[15:02.08]Just aim for the bump.
[15:06.82]Okay. Okay. Okay,here goes.
[15:17.90]You know,I can't do this. This is
[15:21.87]It's too weird. I feel stupid.
[15:25.00]It's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
[15:29.81]Hello,baby. Hello. Hello.
[15:34.58]the moment we first saw the dog shadow fall over the park!
[15:38.85]But did they have to shoot him down? That was just mean.
[15:43.52]Right now the turkey should be crispy on the outside...
[15:47.69]...and juicy on the inside. …
[15:50.46]Why are we standing here?
[15:52.46]We're waiting for you to open the door. You have the keys. -
[15:56.70]No,I don't.
[15:59.17]Yes,you do. When we left, you said,"Got the keys. "
[16:03.54]No,I didn't. I asked,"Got the keys? "
[16:08.65]No,no,no. You said,"Got the keys! "
[16:11.92]Do either of you have the keys?
[16:16.09]-The oven is on! -I've gotta get my ticket! -
[16:19.22]-Wait! We have a copy of your key. -Get it! -
[16:22.46]That tone won't make me go any faster.
[16:25.60]-Joey. -That one will.
[16:30.53]And everyone's telling me, "You gotta pick a major. "
[16:35.64]So on a dare,I picked paleontology.
[16:40.44]And you have no idea what I'm saying, because,face it,you' re a fetus.
[16:47.28]You're happy you don't have gills anymore.
[16:51.56]You don't have to talk to it. You can sing
[16:54.83]Please. I am not singing to your stomach,okay?
[17:01.10]Here we come
[17:03.07]Walking down the street
[17:05.50]Get the funniest looks from Everyone we meet
[17:09.57]Hey,hey
[17:14.01]-Hey,did you just feel that? -I did.
[17:17.08]-Does it always? -That was the first. -
[17:20.08]IKeep singing! IKeep singing!
[17:22.35]Hey,hey,you 're my baby And I can 't wait to meet you
[17:26.89]When you come out I'll buy you a bagel Then we 'll go to the zoo
[17:31.60]-lt did it again! -I felt it that time! -
[17:34.40]Hey,hey,I'm your daddy I'm the one without any breasts “
[17:42.77]This is great. It's 5:00. My plane is pulling away from the gate.
[17:47.44]-Maybe you can take a later flight. -There is none. -
[17:51.08]-You can go tomorrow. -T omorrow is not Thanksgiving! -
[17:55.02]If l' m gonna cheer you up, you have to meet me halfway.
[18:00.12]Can you go any faster?
[18:02.16]I got one keyhole and a zillion keys! You do the math.
[18:06.43]Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?
[18:10.17]For an emergency just like this.
[18:13.40]All right. Listen,smirky!
[18:16.17]If not for your stupid balloon, I'd be on a plane...
[18:20.11]...watching a woman do this... right now. But l' m not! …
[18:25.22]You said you had the keys!
[18:27.25]No,I didn't! I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys!
[18:32.06]That's it! Enough with the keys. No one say keys!
[18:38.16]Why would I have the keys?!
[18:41.07]-Aside from the fact you said you did? -I didn't! -
[18:44.54]-You should've. -Why?
[18:46.07]-Because! -Why?
[18:47.27]Everything's my responsibility? Isn't it enough that l' m making dinner?
[18:52.24]Everyone wants a different kind of potato,so I'm making them.
[18:56.68]Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? No!
[19:01.85]No! No!
[19:03.89]Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions,and Mario gets his T ots
[19:09.09]It's my first Thanksgiving,and l
[19:13.40]It's all burnt,and I can't....
[19:18.07]Monica,only dogs can hear you now. Look,the door's open. Here we go.
[19:28.78]-All right,Chandler,don't lose this. -No -
[19:35.69]Well,the turkey's burnt!
[19:43.83]Here we come
[19:45.86]Walking down the
[19:49.90]This doesn't smell like Mom's.
[19:54.07]It doesn't,does it? You wanted lumps? Here you go,buddy. You got one!
[20:00.28]-Don't yell at me. You burned dinner! -Hey,don't make her squeak again! -
[20:06.15]God,this is great! The plane is gone. I guess I'm stuck here with you guys.
[20:11.76]We all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice!
[20:16.06]Oh,really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious dinner?
[20:21.43]-You call that delicious? -You be quiet! -
[20:26.10]Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[20:28.81]Now this feels like Thanksgiving.
[20:37.71]Skiing.
[20:40.22]Shoop,shoop,shoop.
[20:44.39]Shoop.
[20:47.59]-Eww. -What?
[20:49.59]Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven.
[20:54.16]-Who cares? -He just sat in gravy. -
[20:59.90]Oh,my God! He's not alone.
[21:03.17]Ugly Naked Guy is having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
[21:09.05]I gotta see this!
[21:16.69]Ugly naked dancing!
[21:20.02]It's nice that he has someone.
[21:33.57]Shall I carve?
[21:35.54]-By all means. -All right. -
[21:42.68]Who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?
[21:46.45]I don't even want to know about the dark cheese.
[21:50.32]-Does anybody wanna split this? -I will. -
[21:53.09]-You guys have to make a wish. -Make a wish?
[21:56.69]Come on,you know,Thanksgiving.
[22:03.57]You got the bigger half! What did you wish for?
[22:07.44]The bigger half.
[22:11.38]All right,I'd like to propose a toast.
[22:14.31]A little toast here. Ding,ding!
[22:16.91]This isn't the Thanksgiving you planned...
[22:19.82]...but for me, this has been really great.
[22:24.00]I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting.
[22:31.43]If you'd gone to Vail or if you had been with your family...
[22:35.80]...or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff...
[22:44.14]I guess what l' m trying to say is that...
[22:47.11]... I' m very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
[22:52.78]-That's so sweet! -Thank you.
[22:58.16]-Here's to a lousy Christmas! -And a crappy New Year! -
[23:01.93]-Hear,hear! -Hear,hear! -