I’m hungover 
It’s valentine’s day morning 
What a perfect day to continue my courting of you 
We’ve been dating for so long 
I love you 
And in the local drugstore I feel a bit like moses 
Walking through a red sea of greeting cards and roses 
If I’d only known what you were up to or who 
Cause I got you the paper, I got you the news 
I got you some of that odwalla green juice 
That you seemed to like cause you know how I like you 
But haven’t you seen the paper haven’t you seen the news 
Now there’s something I’ve got to say and I’ve got to 
Say it to you 
What do you send when flowers just won’t do? 
Let’s stop cheating on each other 
This valentine’s day 
I came over to borrow a loofah 
How was I to know you would be schtupping her? 
I guess it’s kind of weird and maybe too soon for ya 
I know 
Don’t get me wrong I mean I know you’re an aries 
And you’ve got commitment issues and you get kinda scary off your meds 
I think I like it but I like it because 
on some level I like to create emotional distractions in my life to prevent myself from Dealing with my real issues 
Let’s stop cheating on each other 
‘cause the community 
isn’t that big 
And they will always find out 
Let’s stop cheating on each other 
And just break up right now 
I mean, I’m not even thirty yet 
I’m not even 25, or 24 or 23 
But I’ll stop cheating on you if you stop cheating on me 
Don’t get me wrong I’m not opposed to being poly 
But I think that we should talk before you go and screw somebody else! 
Stop cheating on me! 
Let’s stop cheating on each other 
Let’s stop cheating on each other 
Let’s stop cheating on each other 
And happy valentine’s day