[00:04.97]She climbs a tree
[00:05.97]And scrapes her knee
[00:07.15]Her dress has got a tear.
[00:09.40]She waltzes on her way to mass
[00:11.77]And whistles on the stair.
[00:14.14]And underneath her wimpole
[00:16.08]She has curlers in her hair!
[00:18.57]I ever hear her singing in the abbey.
[00:22.25]
[00:23.44]She's always late for chapel,
[00:25.25]But her penitence is real.
[00:27.99]She's always late for everything,
[00:30.18]Except for every meal.
[00:32.37]I hate to have to say it
[00:34.55]But I very firmly feel
[00:37.04]Maria's not an asset to the abbey!
[00:40.85]
[00:41.79]I'd like to say a word in her behalf.
[00:44.88]
[00:47.06]Maria makes me laugh!
[00:49.87]
[00:54.05]How do you solve a problem like Maria?
[00:56.55]
[00:57.86]How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
[01:01.29]
[01:02.16]How do you find a word that means Maria?
[01:04.97]
[01:06.09]A flibberti gibbet!
[01:07.34]A willo' the wisp!
[01:08.40]A clown!
[01:08.69]
[01:10.88]Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her,
[01:14.06]
[01:14.62]Many a thing she ought to understand.
[01:17.99]
[01:18.74]But how do you make her stay
[01:20.98]And listen to all you say,
[01:23.23]How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
[01:26.41]
[01:27.10]Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
[01:30.34]
[01:31.53]How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
[01:39.02]
[01:41.45]When I'm with her I'm confused,
[01:43.38]Out of focus and bemused,
[01:44.94]And I never know exactly where I am.
[01:49.25]Unpredictable as weather,
[01:50.87]She's as flighty as a feather,
[01:52.74]She's a darling,
[01:53.62]She's a demon,
[01:54.55]She's a lamb.
[01:56.55]She'd out-pester any pest,
[01:58.36]Drive a hornet from his nest,
[02:00.24]She can throw a whirling dervish
[02:02.16]Out of whirl.
[02:03.54]
[02:04.10]She is gentle,
[02:05.04]She is wild,
[02:06.22]She's a riddle.
[02:06.91]She's a child.
[02:07.78]She's a headache!
[02:08.84]She's an angel!
[02:10.78]She's a girl.
[02:14.21]
[02:15.64]How do you solve a problem like Maria?
[02:18.70]
[02:20.07]How do you catch a clown and pin it down?
[02:23.07]
[02:24.19]How do you find a word that means Maria?
[02:27.06]
[02:28.31]A flibberti gibbet!
[02:29.52]A willo' the wisp!
[02:30.39]A clown!
[02:31.65]
[02:32.70]Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her,
[02:35.89]
[02:36.64]Many a thing she ought to understand.
[02:38.94]
[02:40.69]But how do you make her say,
[02:42.81]And listen to all you say?
[02:45.06]How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
[02:47.93]
[02:48.68]Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
[02:52.61]
[02:54.92]How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?