Well, I'm stranded in the city that never sleeps
Some of these women they just give me the creeps
I'm avoidin' the south side, the best I can
These memories I got they can strangle a man
Well, I came ashore in the dead of the night
Lot of things can get in the way when you're tryin' to do what's right
You don't understand it, my feelin' for you
You'd be honest with me if you only knew
I'm not sorry for nothing I've done
I'm glad I fought, I only wish we'd won
The Siamese twins are comin' to town
People can't wait, they've gathered around
When I left my home the sky split open wide
I never wanted to go back there, I'd rather have died
You don't understand it, my feelin' for you
You'd be honest with me if only you knew

My woman got a face like a teddy bear
She's tossin' a baseball bat in the air
The meat is so tough, you can't cut it with a sword
I'm crashin' my car trunk first into the board
They say that my eyes are pretty and my smile is nice
Well, I'd sell it to ya at a reduced price
You don't understand it, my feeling for you
You'd be honest with me if only you knew

Some things are too terrible to be true
I won't come here no more if it's botherin' you
There's a Southern Pacific leaving at 9: 45
I'm havin' a hard time, believin' some people would ever arrive
I'm stark naked but I don't care
I'm goin' off into the woods, I'm huntin' bare
You don't understand it, my feeling for you
Well, you'd be honest with me if only you knew

I'm here to create the New Imperial Empire
I'm gonna do whatever circumstances require
I care so much for you, didn't think I could
I can't tell my heart that you're no good
Well, my parents, they warned me not to risk my years
And I still got their advice oozing out of my ears
You don't understand it, my feeling for you
Well, you'd be honest with me if only you knew