[00:00.204]MIKE, spoken: Hey, Wonka, if you can send chocolate by TV, can you send a person too?
[00:04.143]WILLY WONKA, spoken: Oh, I suppose so, but there might be some technical issues…
[00:07.473]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Alas, alas, poor Mike Teavee
[00:09.056]For OMG, he's ADD
[00:10.862]MIKE, spoken: You can’t stop progress, I’m doing it!
[00:13.422]WILLY WONKA, spoken: Uh, Mike… no!
[00:14.731]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: He's like so many nowadays
[00:16.524]It’s awfully modern, this malaise
[00:18.575]MIKE, spoken: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Mike Teavee TV Show!
[00:22.381]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: For every child that threw a fit
[00:24.196]The TV set would babysit
[00:26.020]MRS. TEAVEE, spoken: Mr. Wonka where is he?
[00:28.074]WILLY WONKA, spoken: I’m looking, I’m looking! There’s so many channels!
[00:29.895]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Attention spans have gone pell-mell
[00:31.464]There's only time for LOL
[00:33.538]MRS. TEAVEE, spoken: The little people are singing again. That’s never a good sign.
[00:37.199]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: They never step outside to play
[00:38.982]Their world is dark both night and day
[00:41.050]MRS. TEAVEE, spoken: He’s jumping from screen to screen!
[00:42.603]WILLY WONKA, spoken: I think it’s called channel hopping.
[00:44.686]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: The skies of blue, the pinks, the greens
[00:46.475]Are only viewed on laptop screens
[00:48.923]MRS. TEAVEE, spoken: Get him out of there!
[00:50.357]MIKE, spoken: I’m on TV! Look at me! Look at me!
[00:52.684]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: They only move and exercise
[00:54.213]MRS. TEAVEE, spoken: What’s happened to him?
[00:56.040]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Their clicking finger and their thumb
[00:57.840]WILLY WONKA, spoken: He’s shrunk to fit the TV screen.
[00:59.645]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Each brain cell overloads and dies
[01:01.475]CHARLIE, spoken: Will he ever go back to normal?
[01:03.526]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: As all their limbs are turning numb
[01:05.345]WILLY WONKA, spoken: No one ever goes back to normal after they’ve been on television.
[01:09.388]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Vidiots!
[01:12.293]They’re just vidiots!
[01:16.685]The age of innocence is gone
[01:18.487]Once certain sites are clicked upon
[01:20.283]The images that they repeat
[01:22.108]Once in the brain you can’t delete
[01:24.156]And then like some barbaric huns
[01:25.985]Our toddlers all are packing guns
[01:27.823]Now children curse and smoke cigars
[01:29.654]Our nurseries now have prison bars
[01:31.464]They scream and rant and raise their fists
[01:33.539]And fire their psychiatrists
[01:35.323]We hear them all, the teenage horde
[01:37.148]They scream the battle cry “we’re bored!”
[01:38.964]Their minds will surely turn to mush
[01:41.034]With words that make an ex-con blush
[01:42.866]They never mind their ps and qs
[01:44.693]They long for piercings and tattoos
[01:46.706]Vidiots!
[01:49.537]They’re just vidiots!
[01:51.543]WILLY WONKA, spoken: It’s years since I’ve been to a rave!
[01:54.034]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: With all this info at a click
[01:55.835]A book will rot upon the shelf
[01:57.896]If all the answers come too quick
[01:59.730]A child won’t think for himself
[02:01.557]Each day they text on their new toy
[02:03.391]Their thoughts and their location
[02:05.182]But OMG, will this destroy
[02:07.257]The art of conversation?
[02:09.087]WILLY WONKA: So sing the story, Mrs. T
[02:10.887]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: What's now become of Mike Teavee
[02:12.711]MRS. TEAVEE: From wasting his entire brain
[02:14.770]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: He's stuck inside his own domain
[02:16.603]WILLY WONKA: He'll channel surf till whereupon
[02:18.399]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: He'll find that nothing good is on
[02:20.227]MRS. TEAVEE: And there is no remote control
[02:22.066]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: That he can use to find his soul
[02:24.075]WILLY WONKA: His secrets now are yours and mine
[02:26.055]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: 'Cause everything he's got's online
[02:27.874]MRS. TEAVEE: And who will watch just Mike Teavee
[02:29.714]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: When there is newer junk to see?
[02:31.517]WILLY WONKA: What once was viral's soon forgot
[02:33.379]MRS. TEAVEE: But hand the clicker to his mom
[02:35.200]WILLY WONKA: His future's not completely shot
[02:37.452]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: His new address is
[02:37.973]WILLY WONKA & OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Mike dot com
[02:39.262]OOMPA-LOOMPAS: Vidiots!
[02:42.140]They're just vidiots!
[02:46.876]Vidiots!
[02:49.690]They're just vidiots!
[02:53.331]They're just vidiots!