[00:01.45]I’m an old timer I’m an excellent rhymer
[00:05.00]I’ll send you a song of the sights I have seen
[00:09.30]‘Tis late in December but well I remember
[00:13.82]The springtime of youth when the world was so green
[00:21.45]
[00:23.14]I was born a hundred thousand years ago
[00:26.18]There ain’t nothin’ in this world that I don’t know.
[00:29.38]There’s no place that I ain’t been
[00:31.05]Round the world and back again,
[00:32.67]And I’ll whup the man that says it isn’t so
[00:36.21]In the dawn of civilization I recall,
[00:39.48]My cave had bearskin carpets, wall to wall.
[00:42.48]We were quite the social group,
[00:44.16]I was friends with Alley Oop,
[00:45.80]And a charming fellow named Neanderthal.
[00:49.18]I knew Adam and Eve before they knew the score:
[00:52.40]It was I designed the fig leaves that they wore.
[00:55.62]From behind the bushes kneelin’
[00:57.17]Saw the apple they was peelin’,
[00:58.87]And I swear that I’m the guy that ate the core.
[01:02.34]I was born a hundred thousand years ago
[01:05.39]There ain’t nothin’ in this world that I don’t know.
[01:08.61]There’s no place that I ain’t been
[01:10.26]Round the world and back again,
[01:11.83]And I’ll whup the man that says it isn’t so
[01:15.45]Took a trip with Cleopatra down the Nile.
[01:18.40]Yes, we dated off and on for quite awhile.
[01:21.75]And for King Tut and his kiddies,
[01:23.40]I built all the pyramiddies,
[01:25.12]And I represented Caesar at his trial.
[01:28.36]Mr. Nero was a personal friend of mine.
[01:31.85]The way he played the fiddle was divine.
[01:35.04]I went by invitation
[01:36.36]To a Roman celebration,
[01:38.27]And. ended up with ashes in my wine.
[01:41.42]I was born a hundred thousand years ago
[01:44.51]There ain’t nothin’ in this world that I don’t know.
[01:47.75]There’s no place that I ain’t been
[01:49.36]Round the world and back again,
[01:50.94]And I’ll whup the man that says it isn’t so
[01:54.40]I’ll tell you how America came to be:
[01:57.49]I went sailing with Columbus ‘cross the sea.
[02:00.84]He got sick the day we landed,
[02:02.46]And he went home empty-handed.
[02:04.08]By rights, the whole darn place belongs to me.
[02:07.55]I know much more than any book can tell,
[02:10.55]And you must admit, I sing it rather well.
[02:13.65]But the last part is the best,
[02:15.31]If you’d like to hear the rest,
[02:16.97]You can sing it for yourself or go to hell.
[02:20.39]I was born a hundred thousand years ago
[02:23.42]There ain’t nothin’ in this world that I don’t know.
[02:26.69]There’s no place that I ain’t been
[02:28.65]Round the world and back again,
[02:29.88]And I’ll whup the man that says it isn’t so
[02:32.41]