[00:05.67]Oh hey.
[00:06.82]Did I ever tell you about the time that Ninja Brian and I saved the world from super monsters?
[00:11.28]Yeah, that's a thing that happened.
[00:14.15]So please, pay attention.
[00:16.60]I'm talking to you, Doug. Jesus.
[00:18.80]
[00:19.29]It's the middle of the day but darkness falls on the city
[00:21.61]It's the shadow of a giant cybernetic death kitty
[00:23.91]And on the other side of town something rages down the path
[00:26.30]If you had a lisp you'd know it's kickin' therious ath
[00:28.83]Mortal enemies since the early days of yore
[00:31.30]We're just collateral damage in their giant-ass war
[00:33.60]They rumble, battle, tussle, and then do a cocky strut
[00:36.27]They both know they're kicking Earth right in its planetary nuts
[00:38.66]Not a single human being can survive in the vicinity
[00:40.86]It's kinda like Godzilla squared but also times infinity
[00:43.13]Me and Ninja Brian were just chillin' at our place
[00:45.80]When we got a frantic call from the President of Space
[00:48.11]Saying, "You're the only hope to save billions of lives"
[00:50.44]I said, "I'm making baked potatoes and I'm about to add the chives
[00:52.85]We can be there in an hour if we really, really try."
[00:55.39]But we didn't, so they ate France, sorry if you died
[00:57.50]
[00:58.00]Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
[01:00.21]Giants from the sky with no sense of humor
[01:02.65]Everyone's in danger from their massive-ass brawl
[01:05.06]One shat on Minneapolis, the other St. Paul
[01:07.45]Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
[01:09.75]I am pretty sure that they pissed on Cuba
[01:12.18]I would be lucky if we live to see dawn
[01:14.50]They killed a million people and they just stepped on my lawn
[01:16.81]
[01:17.14]FUCK! I just had that re-sodded.
[01:20.98]That's gonna be like twenty-five dollars,
[01:24.32]at least. Damn it.
[01:25.85]
[01:26.65]A couple hours later NSP hit the scene
[01:28.87]You know we could have been there sooner but we stopped for ice cream
[01:31.23]"Where have you been!?" screamed the president, "We're all under attack!"
[01:33.48]"I had a craving for pistachio, get off my fucking back."
[01:35.99]Brian busted out a keyboard and I grabbed my blue bass
[01:38.36]Some guy said "What are you doing?" so we punched him in the face
[01:40.84]Superpuma was a girl, Rhinoceratops a dude
[01:43.18]We knew that all we had to do was get them in the booty mood
[01:45.60]We rocked so hard it put the monsters in a trance
[01:48.04]And they lept up on each other in a frenzy of romance
[01:50.57]I was immediately sorry that they weren't wearing pants
[01:52.86]Now I can't forget the sight of Superpuma getting lanced
[01:55.23]When the sex was over they took off into the sky
[01:57.72]All the world screamed "NSP you are super-awesome guys"
[02:00.08]So we finished off the night with an amazing rock show
[02:02.60]Then Brian stabbed a random guy while I got laid twice in a row
[02:04.70]
[02:05.22]Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
[02:07.37]Life on Earth survived, but it was kind of screwed up
[02:09.70]Finally we’re safe, stupid Doug shouts "Hooray!"
[02:12.01]Doug you suck but that's a story for another day
[02:14.72]Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
[02:16.97]I think there's a lesson here that needs reviewal
[02:19.46]Choose sex over murder even if you're from the stars
[02:21.74]Or you might kill a planet and also scratch my car
[02:23.95]
[02:25.30]Son of a bitch!
[02:27.52]I'm gonna have to lightly buff that out.
[02:31.84]Also, that's definitely space rhino jizz on my porch.