When I was eight years old
Before puberty took hold
I thought I'd end up beside a princess bride
And love was indivisible
Never mind how my taste reflects
A disturbing oedipal complex
It's not awkward girl
The compliments are coming next
You're no witch, you're no wench
You're like Bjork
With better fashion sense
So I phone 50 Cents
And I'm building up my confidence
Respect to your work
You're an artist, I'm a silly jerk
I think that dynamic could work
So work it
I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could let you know
When we spoke, no joke
I started shedding slutty girls like snake skin
My collection acquired
Through shallow misdirection
And as I drive tonight
West Coast sky daring me to try
I feel alive tonight
The possibility that I'm your guy
Though I suffer from dyslexia
And mild manorexia
My hair cannot commit
To one popular genre of music
And though they all claim
That a girl can't take her boy's last name
Or end up divorced and estranged
I'm counting on you
I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could
Your other suitors are no poets
They're only actors who can play guitar
Have I won your heart?
They're not students or screenwriters
They're only models that they taught to read
Love, would you agree?
I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could
Quite sure you love me, Sherri
Quite sure I love you too
We'll each should make a verbal agreement
To only kiss each other
Because one time, beneath the sky
Outside my New York pigsty
I saw a vision of you and I
Ha ha
Did it hurt? Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
Did it hurt? Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
La dada dada da da
La dada da da
La dada dada da da
La dada da da