She hates my mama, she hates my daddy too She loves to tell me, she hates the things I do She loves to lie beside me almost every night She's no lady, she's my wife The preacher asked her and she said, "I do" The preacher asked me, and she said, "Yes, he does too" And the preacher said, "I pronounce you 99 to life Son, she's no lady, she's your wife" And I can't remember how I met her Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm And I can't remember how I ever Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm And even though she loves the smell of French perfume And even though she walks around in high-heel shoes All I know is I'm the one who pays her price Man, she's no lady, she's my wife And I can't remember how I met her Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm And I can't remember how I ever Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm Yeah, she hates my mama, she hates my daddy too She loves to tell me, she hates the things I do She loves to lie beside me almost every night She's no lady, she's my wife