[00:00.00]==【Hank】==
[00:00.10]Find out what your niche is
[00:02.07]Because that leads to riches
[00:05.69]==【Hank】==
[00:05.79]Beer from a can always tastes two degrees cooler than beer from a bottle
[00:10.85]Even if they're the same temperature
[00:13.14]I'm don't know why
[00:14.28]I'm not a physicist
[00:15.35]But I am a beer drinker
[00:17.44]==【Hank】==
[00:17.54]Never drink anything with an umbrella
[00:20.66]A fruit wedge
[00:22.07]Or a plastic monkey in it
[00:24.46]==【Peggy】==
[00:24.56]Remember
[00:25.51]Butter first
[00:27.06]Milk second
[00:28.77]Then add the cheese powder
[00:30.89]==【Dale】==
[00:30.99]Inhale deeply and often
[00:34.47]You're payin' for the nicotine
[00:36.88]You might as well get the most out of it
[00:39.51]==【Hank】==
[00:39.61]Don't be the type of person who sits around talking about his own genitalia
[00:45.00]==【Boomhauer】==
[00:45.09]I tell you what you do man you take one of these little ol' dollar bills man
[00:48.67]Ol' George Washington on there get one of those cartoon balloons man
[00:58.04]==【Leanne】==
[00:58.14]Enjoy your body
[01:00.09]Use it everywhere you can
[01:02.34]Feel good about your body
[01:05.21]Show it to everyone
[01:06.86]==【Peggy】==
[01:06.96]Your feet are not as big as you think they are
[01:11.23]==【Bobby】==
[01:11.33]Enjoy your body
[01:13.21]Almost any part can make a fart noise
[01:17.69]In between your toes
[01:20.82]Behind your knee
[01:23.85]Inside the elbow
[01:26.85]Even behind your ear
[01:29.96]From your chin to your neck
[01:33.36]And of course
[01:35.41]You have your armpit
[01:38.00]==【Hank】==
[01:38.07]Always read the directions
[01:40.70]Enjoy your spatula
[01:43.20]Use it everywhere you can
[01:48.87]If it rusts
[01:46.22]Don't be afraid of what people think of it
[01:48.62]It is the greatest instrument you will ever own
[01:51.91]==【Bobby】==
[01:52.01]Write your locker combination where you'll remember it
[01:55.95]But not inside your locker
[01:58.12]==【Cotton】==
[01:58.22]Love your shins
[02:00.43]Them's the only ones you got and you'll miss 'em when they're gone
[02:05.23]Dance! I said dance, monkey!
[02:12.00]Dance! I said dance, monkey!
[02:16.06]==【Dale】==
[02:16.16]Do one thing every day that scares somebody.
[02:20.66]==【Cotton】==
[02:20.76]Dance! I said dance, monkey!
[02:25.01]==【Hank】==
[02:25.11]Go to the bathroom every chance you can
[02:28.85]Don't trust a man who spends more than $10 on a haircut
[02:36.53]Buy American
[02:39.35]Even if it doesn't work as well
[02:41.54]==【Bill】==
[02:41.64]Be kind to your wife
[02:44.33]You may never know when she just might leave ya for no reason
[02:49.18]==【Peggy】==
[02:49.28]Do not read beauty magazines
[02:51.81]They will only make you feel sorry for those skinny, little drugged out models
[02:57.02]==【Hank】==
[02:57.12]Mow against the grain
[03:03.21]==【Hank】==
[03:03.31]My lawn is my flag
[03:06.14]It tells the world
[03:07.62]Here lives a competent
[03:09.51]Trustworthy salesman of propane and propane accessories
[03:13.64]==【Bill】==
[03:13.74]Dance
[03:14.99]Even if you have no where to do it but alone in your living room
[03:19.11]Alone
[03:20.01]With a mop
[03:21.20]==【Hank】==
[03:21.30]Never throw out an old comb
[03:24.00]A comb is one tool that last a lifetime
[03:29.16]==【Dale】==
[03:29.26]Set aside time every day to check to see if your fly is up
[03:36.11]==【Hank】==
[03:36.21]Don't go to therapy
[03:38.47]It'll only screw you up more
[03:41.10]==【Hank】==
[03:41.20]Don't waste money on fancy soap
[03:45.01]==【Hank】==
[03:45.11]Never, ever trust a man who is wearing a beret
[03:50.84]==【Hank】==
[03:50.94]If there's a better friend than a roll of duct tape I'd like to meet him
[03:55.83]==【Boomhauer】==
[03:55.93]I tell you one thing man in any kind of relationship is dang ol' communication
[04:02.73]It's the most important thing in any kind of relationship
[04:06.42]I tell you what man what we have here is a failure to communicate