[00:13.00]I read a news today, oh boy,
[00:18.00]About a lucky man who made a grade,
[00:25.00]And though the news was rather sad,
[00:31.00]Well, I just had to laugh.
[00:38.00]I saw the photograph.
[00:43.00]He blew his mind out in a car,
[00:50.00]He didn't notice that the lights have changed,
[00:56.00]A crowd of people stood and stared,
[01:02.00]They've seen his face before,
[01:05.00]Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords.
[01:12.00]I saw a film today, oh boy,
[01:18.00]The English army had just won the war,
[01:24.00]A crowd of people turned away,
[01:29.00]But I just had a look,
[01:34.00]Having read a book, I'd like to turn you on...
[02:21.00]Woke up, fell out of bed,
[02:24.00]dragged a comb across my head,
[02:28.00]found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
[02:31.00]and looking up I noticed I was late.
[02:35.00]Found my coat and grabbed my head,
[02:38.00]made the bus in second flat,
[02:42.00]found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
[02:45.00]and somebody spoke and I went into a dream
[03:18.00]I read a news today, oh boy,
[03:24.00]four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire,
[03:30.00]and though the holes were rather small,
[03:36.00]they had to count them all,
[03:39.00]now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall,
[03:44.00]I'd love to turn you on.