I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine Selling little bottles of love potion number nine I told her that I was a flop with chics I've been this way since 1956 She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign She said "What you need is love potion number nine" She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink" It smelled like turpentine, it looked like Indian ink I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine Love potion number nine Love Potion number nine Love Potion number nine