作词 : Jason Williamson
 作曲 : Andrew Fearn
I used to be a part of that door swings open, swagger to the bar crew
Saturday start at four, get ****in' nailed down The Oak
fly into the city in my technicoloured dream coat
Stories told all night about a Rambo-style attack
on any ****in' arsehole in a sheep shagger's mac
I lived my life on an empty tank
full of shaggy tit wank
Blankety Blank
And I always made sure the ****in' contestants got it wrong
Bow! Bow!
I fill the frightening void with a chirpy attitude good as gold
I'm a nasty bastard in stage tights
And mate, I tread the boards
and I'll bring the ****in' curtain down with my uneducated hordes
I used to be shit streets runny
I used to be shit streets runny
I used to be shit streets runny
I used to be

Attention to detail
Attention to detail
****in' email
WAV
mp3
I need a ****in' bath
You ain't no roadrunner
You ain't no shoot shoot the runner
Shit take on it
Meanwhile, back at the crap cave
I trod on my cape by mistake and fell into the fridge, mate
I ****in' hate Northern Soul it's like Motown's on the dole
And the Housing Benefit bouncers ain't happy with the inspection

Brian Eno, what the **** does he know?
Doodling away with a ****in' alien haircut mate
Head louse
I built a swimming pool in my living room and I called it 'Deep House'
You're so edgy mate
you're so edgy
Crap bands
I play to a crowd of no-one but have got loads of online fans
I'm cynical me, yeah, bitter
I post horrible messages to successful musicians on me smartphone... ****in' Twitter

The dew on the grass in the park slap me round the face
I woke up
—What the **** you doin' in this place ?
It's not the wankers or the misplaced weaks
The ****in' dodgy roofers, mate