The Backson Song - Craig Ferguson

It's a giant creature with a tail

Here  I'll draw Piglet in for scale

Oh dear

It's hide is like a shaggy rug

Its face  a surly  ugly mug

With two sharp horns atop its head

Between a mop of hair that's red

And in its nose  a ring of gold
It smells of monkeys' feet and mold
Its toes are black  Its fur is blue
I swear that all I tell you is not made up
The Backson
The Backson

The Backson
The Backson

Oh no

But Owl  what does a Backson do
Yes Owl  what does a Backson do
Hmmm what does a backson do
I'm thinking  I'm thinking  I'm thinking  I'm thinking
And now I will tell you

They sneak into your library
And scribble in all your books

The Backson  The Backson

We don't like the Backson
When decorating your Christmas tree
They tangle up all the hooks

The Backson  The Backson
We're afraid of the Backson

They spoil the milk
They stop all the clocks
They use their horns to put holes in your socks
The Backson's the one
Who's been putting holes in our socks
Tell us more about what Backsons do
Yes more about what Backsons do

More about what Backsons do
Why don't we hear some thoughts from you
Maybe they make you sleep too late
Yes  Yes  That's good  That's great
I bet they're the reason my tail is gone
You're on a roll  Go on  Go on
They muddy up your tidy house
They make you feel as small as a mouse
They break your crayons
They spill your tea
They wake up babies at one and three
They made me catch the cold I caught
They made me lose my train of thought
They swipe your stripes
They clog your pipes
They dig up your garden
They won't beg your pardon
They eat your snacks
They won't relax
They chip your tooth
They steal your youth
And now you know the horrible truth
The Backson  The Backson
The Backson  The Backson
Oh no

Oh yes

Huh
I know exactly what to do
We'll find things Backson are partial to
Like books
And dishes
And socks
And toys
Yes  Everything that a Backson destroys

Then we'll dig an enormous pit
And he'll make the items lead to it
He'll fall in and we'll get our friend
And the horrible nightmare can come to an end
The Backson
The Backson
The Backson
The Backson

Go home and search your closets
Bring everything that you can

The Backson  The Backson
We're gonna catch the Backson

We'll save Christopher Robin
By following Rabbit's plan

The Backson  The Backson
We'll save Christopher Robin

We must be brave and have no fear
So to the death we'll persevere
We'll search by the sun and the light of the moon
And if everything goes well

We'll be back soon

Back soon
Back soon

Sounds like Backson
Back soon

Oh well  Good luck everyone