[id:$00000000]
[ti:The Cactus]
[ar:Jake Thackray]
[al:Jake In A Box Vol 1 & 2]
[00:00.00]The Cactus (2006 Remaster) - Jake Thackray
[00:06.83]When I and my new love my true love got married
[00:12.75]Our love our true love very nearly miscarried
[00:17.82]And one of the chief the contributory factors
[00:23.27]Was when my dear wife fell in love with a cactus
[00:29.46]On our wedding day
[00:30.36]My auntie Ivy gave us both a little pot
[00:33.33]A plastic what not
[00:34.43]Which contained a spiky cactus
[00:35.88]As a present it was tactless
[00:37.13]But my wife my life my golden girl
[00:39.79]She loved it from the start
[00:44.03]Though it was old and mouldy
[00:45.74]She took it to her very heart
[00:50.94]My snow white my aphrodite my pocket Venus
[00:56.68]Twas then that this venomous thing came between us
[01:00.98]When we had so much to delect and distract us
[01:06.41]Oh why did we cherish a perishing cactus
[01:12.22]At first she just felt sorry for this
[01:13.75]Horrid squalid lumpish parasite
[01:16.44]A rash compassion
[01:17.56]For her feelings got beyond her
[01:19.12]Every day she grew still fonder
[01:20.53]Till this sickly tickly little squirt
[01:23.12]Had got the household quashed
[01:26.96]Rent unpaid my tea not made
[01:28.93]My shirts my socks not washed
[01:33.91]My poor heart was bleeding from multiple fractures
[01:39.48]A dupe and a boob and a cuckold to a cactus
[01:43.21]She gave up her duties her food and her slumber
[01:48.44]For this potted hedgehog this son of a cucumber
[01:54.44]In spite of all her care her lavish
[01:56.09]Blandishments the creature still declined
[01:58.27]It pined for something
[01:59.68]It defied all kinds of fertiliser
[02:01.54]It began to fade away and die
[02:03.23]And only I knew why I recognised the state
[02:09.23]And it's a fact that what that cactus
[02:11.47]Lacked was a prickly little soul mate
[02:16.73]The feeling of grief's not confined to us only
[02:22.29]Like me this poor vegetable was just lonely
[02:26.95]For they need exactly those things which attract us
[02:32.25]So I went and bought him a little lady cactus
[02:38.05]We placed them spiky cheek to spiky
[02:39.37]Cheek upon our kitchen window sill
[02:42.19]And then withdrew We knew
[02:43.79]True love would run its course and
[02:45.07]We perforce had something similar to do
[02:47.61]And truth to tell well well within the hour
[02:52.62]My auntie's antisocial plant put out a happy cactus flower
[03:00.23]True love is in bloom now and everything's very nice
[03:06.06]No thorns in our fireside no spikes up our paradise
[03:10.50]My household is flourishing now and in fact I
[03:15.40]Have dozens of kids and a hundred little cacti