[00:00.00]Leopold Alcocks - Jake Thackray
[00:07.54]Leopold alcox my distant relation
[00:14.13]Came to my flat for a brief visitation
[00:20.63]He's been here since february damn and blast him
[00:27.04]My nerves and my furniture may not outlast him
[00:34.36]Leopold alcox is accident prone
[00:41.15]He's lost my bath plug he's ruptured my telephone
[00:47.67]My antirrhinums my motorbike my sofa
[00:54.74]There isn't anything he can't trip over
[01:04.52]He's upset my goldfish he's jinxed my wisteria
[01:11.13]My budgie's gone broody my tortoise has hysteria
[01:18.54]He cleans my teapots my saucepans with brasso
[01:24.58]And leaves chocolate fingerprints on my picasso
[01:32.06]Leopold alcox an uncanny creature
[01:38.72]He can't take tea without some misadventure
[01:45.49]He looks up from his tea cup with a smirk on his features
[01:51.85]And a slice of my porcelain between his dentures
[02:02.54]I brought home my bird for some turkish moussaka
[02:09.95]Up looms old leopold I know when I'm knackered
[02:16.78]He spills the vino the great eager beaver
[02:23.70]Drenching her jump suit and my joie de vivre
[02:30.90]Leopold alcox stirring my spleen
[02:37.61]You are the grit in my life's vaseline
[02:43.95]A pox on you alcox you've been here since feb'ry
[02:51.44]Go home and leave me alone with my debris
[03:05.66]So leopold alcox my distant relation
[03:14.29]Has gone away home after his visitation
[03:21.50]I glimpsed him waving bye bye this last minute
[03:28.48]Waving his hand with my door knob still in it