The Statues (2006 Remaster) - Jake Thackray
Closing time on Saturday it was dark
Me and Uncle Samuel were lying in the park
Toes towards the moonlight
Noses in the flower beds
But we know that what we saw  we saw
She was naked  She was cast in bronze
In bronze
Standing in the lake amidst the
Corporation swans
He was millstone grit  He was
Sir Robert Walpole
And we know that what we heard
We heard
"Lady is the water cold tonight
Or does the silky moonlight warm
Your heart to me
Or must I hanker for a hundred years again
And never-endingly gaze upon your flanks
Your face "
Well  me and my Uncle Sam  oh Constable  well
We were
Right on her side
Poor darling  she was shy and
She had her pride  and nowhere to hide
We were there  we saw the aged sire
Shaking with a century of petrified desire
Climbing from his pedestal all stiff and sooty
And we know that what we saw  we saw
He began to tremble and to sway-ay-ay
We were drunk as penguins but
We saw him clear as day
Clumping to the water's edge
Sir Robert Walpole
And we know that what we heard  we heard
"Lady is the water cold tonight
Is it the milky moonlight warms my heart to you
Well let the devil take the park attendant first
My heart may burst  so I'm not waiting any longer lady "
Me and my Uncle Sam  Inspector  well
Then we both got to our feet
Poor darling she was sweet and not very old
And awfully cold
We rolled up our sleeves  we got to work
Went for him like buffaloes
Like windmills goneberserk
He fought like a tiger
We've got the scars to prove it
And we know that what we've got we've got
We hung on like death  we did our best
He was big and gritty and he fought like
One possessed
He was much too good for us was
Robert Walpole
He put us down and out and he strode on
Lady was the water cold last night
Was it the creamy  dreamy moonlight
Warmed your heart
Oh little nymph  we both did what we could
But it's so strange: you're infinitely changed today
Well  me and my Uncle Sam  your Worship
Well  we both feel something's not right
Today she wears a smile  her face is alight
And her eyes are bright
Ever so bright
Awfully bright