[00:00.00]Go home!
[00:01.98]Go west!
[00:03.58]Go back where you came from!
[00:06.90]Oh, why did you ever leave Ohio’
[00:11.25]Because I think I have talent
[00:13.31]A million kids just like you
[00:15.27]Come to town every day
[00:16.94]With stars in their eyes.
[00:21.43]They’re gonna conquer the city,
[00:23.55]They’re gonna grab off the Pulitzer Prize,
[00:26.77]But it’s a terrible pity,
[00:28.84]Because they’re in for a bitter surprise.
[00:31.66]And their stories all follow one line,
[00:35.12]Like his,
[00:36.62]Like his,
[00:37.95]Like mine!
[00:45.97]Born in duluth,
[00:46.82]Natural writer,
[00:48.60]Published at seven -- genius type --
[00:51.77]Wrote the school play,
[00:53.22]Wrote the school paper,
[00:54.82]Summa cum laude -- all of that tripe --
[00:57.87]Came to new york,
[00:59.42]Got on the staff here,
[01:01.03]This was my chance to be heard.
[01:03.59]Well, since then I haven’t written a word.
[01:07.02]What a waste,
[01:08.28]What a waste,
[01:09.63]What a waste of money and time!
[01:15.76]Man from Detroit,
[01:18.29]Wonderful artist,
[01:19.90]Went to Picasso -- Pablo said ‘wow!’
[01:23.02]Settled in France,
[01:24.69]Bought him a beret,
[01:26.20]Lived in Montmartre,
[01:27.51]Really learned how.
[01:28.98]Came to New York -- had an exhibit,
[01:32.15]Art critics made a big fuss.
[01:34.62]Now, he paints those toothpaste ads on the bus!
[01:37.74]What a waste,
[01:39.00]What a waste,
[01:40.46]What a waste of money and time!
[01:47.18]Girl from mobile,
[01:48.96]Versatile actress,
[01:50.57]Tragic or comic,
[01:52.09]Any old play,
[01:53.60]Suffered and starved,
[01:55.17]Met Stanislavsky.
[01:56.58]He said the world would
[01:58.14]Cheer her some day.
[01:59.60]Came to New York,
[02:00.71]Repertoire ready,
[02:02.52]Chekhov’s and Shakespeare’s and Wilde’s.
[02:05.33]Now, they watch her flipping flapjacks at Childs’.
[02:08.53]What a waste,
[02:09.73]What a waste,
[02:10.85]What a waste of money and time!
[02:17.58]Kid from cape cod,
[02:19.58]Fisherman’s family,
[02:21.11]Marvelous singer -- big baritone --
[02:24.28]Rented his boat,
[02:25.60]Paid for his lessons,
[02:27.22]Starved for his studies,
[02:28.73]Down to the bone.
[02:30.27]Came to New York,
[02:31.76]Aimed at the opera,
[02:33.26]Sing ‘Rigoletto’ His wish.
[02:36.10]At the Fulton market now he yells ‘fish!’
[02:39.35]What a waste,
[02:40.45]What a waste, ah -- fish!
[02:41.79]What a waste of money and time!
[02:48.75]Go home! Go west!
[02:51.60]Go back where you came from!
[02:55.24]Go home!