[00:04.044]I was wallowing in squalor when a note came through the mail
[00:08.280]From a light-fingered acquaintance who'd been lingering in jail
[00:12.143]He had served a year of sentence when the fools had set him free
[00:16.408]And he'd had a good idea he said he'd like to put to me
[00:19.938]
[00:20.468]I said come on then, let's have it, there's a twinkle in his eye
[00:25.105]He says let me put it this way, have you ever wondered why
[00:29.163]The rich have so much money when, if push should come to crunch
[00:33.439]You can only be in one room and only eat one lunch
[00:36.769]
[00:37.835]A cogent observation, but I didn't have the time
[00:41.991]I presumed this exposition must be leading to a crime
[00:46.105]He said wait a precious moment I am trying to set the scene
[00:50.082]If you liberate your mind my friend you'll soon see what I mean
[00:54.186]
[00:54.568]He said have you ever wondered how a horse becomes a glue?
[00:58.868]Or how my uncle's pencil reached a garden in Peru?
[01:03.056]And have you tried valerian, the side-effects are strange
[01:07.226]There is no such thing as accident, for everything's arranged
[01:10.677]
[01:10.840]I said listen friend your time inside has clearly flipped your mind
[01:15.765]These are merely hypotheticals I haven't got the time
[01:19.963]If it's blackmailing on Snapchat or a hold-up count on me
[01:24.165]But this claptrap that you're spouting now just sounds like poetry
[01:27.444]
[01:27.647]Do not be so narrow-minded, my erstwhile accomplice trilled
[01:32.669]I've had lots of time for poetry it's left me rather thrilled
[01:36.372]I've been reading the New York School: Frank O'Hara, Kenneth Koch
[01:40.546]And they've given me more pleasure than a thousand dirty jokes
[01:44.081]
[02:01.891]Well he's published by Macmillan now, he got a big advance
[02:06.104]Which he spent on buying a farmhouse in a pleasant part of France
[02:10.420]His first book won a Pulitzer, he's up for a Nobel
[02:14.241]They say you can't change human nature but he's doing rather well