SCROOGE:Words to live by/Cratchet Everyone except Amalgamated Cheese ABERCROMBIE:That's right It's become tradition CRASS:Better than that This year we have him smoking one SCROOGE:Um hmmm SCROOGE:What does the other one say CRASS:Less tar SCROOGE:Great stuff CRATCHET:But Mr Scrooge SCROOGE:What Who are you SCROOGE:What do you mean SCROOGE:I get it And they're bearing your spices Now that's perfect SCROOGE:A red and green bandwagon to jump on SCROOGE:A sentimental shot in the arm for sales Listen Deck the halls with advertising Fa la la la la la la la la While you can be enterprising Fa la la la la la la la la On the fourth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Four bars of soap Three cans of peas Two breakfast foods And some toothpaste on a pear tree On the fifth day of Christmas My true love gave to me SCROOGE:five tube less tires Fo ur quarts of gin Three ci gars Two cig ar ettes And some hair tonic on a pear tree Chest nuts roasting GIRL TRIO:Tin ee Tim Tin ee Tim Chest nuts all the way ANNOUNCER:Tin y Tim's roast hot like a chestnut ought And they are ECHO Mild mild mild mild Deck the halls with advertising Fa la la la la la la la la 'Tis the time for merchandising Fa la la la la la la la la Profit never needs a reason Fa la la la la la la la la Get the money it's the season Fa la la la la la la la la SCROOGE:Why What's the percentage in that Let me show you how to make Christmas work for you We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas And please buy our beer SCROOGE:Christmas comes but once a year So you better make hay while the snow is falling That's opportunity calling you What a wonderful time to be Glad and merry SCROOGE:Just so you're mercenary too Buy an ad and show all the toys Show all the toys up on the shelf SCROOGE:Just make sure that you get a plug You get a plug In for yourself SCROOGE AND Christmas comes but once a year So you better cash in While the spirit lingers It's slipping through your fingers Boy Don't you realize Christmas can be such a Monetary joy SCROOGE:Eh CRATCHET:The people keep hoping you'll remember But you never do SCROOGE:Remember what CRATCHET:Whose birthday we're celebrating On the first day of Christmas The advertising's there with Newspaper ads Billboards too Business Christmas cards And commercials on a pear tree Jingles here jingles there Jingles all the way Dashing through the snow In a fifty foot coup e O'er the fields we go Selling all the way Deck the halls with advertising What's the use of compromising Fa la la la la la la la la