[00:02.346]How to spot an invert
[00:04.298]Amongst the vertebrates:
[00:13.848]Good grooming
[00:15.731]A tidy bedroom
[00:18.197]Never married
[00:19.906]And working in the arts
[00:23.581]A bitchy sense of humour
[00:25.769]Inordinately colourful scarves
[00:30.671]Loose gestures
[00:32.468]A wardrobe full of Helmut Lang
[00:35.498]A dangling limp wrist
[00:37.902]A talent for interior design
[00:42.024]He has a taste for Latin poetry of the Silver Age
[00:46.479]Indulges privately on the heath with unknown youths
[00:51.582]In Spartan sports
[00:54.013]And ‘the unspeakable vice of the Greeks’
[00:59.347]Likes show tunes
[01:00.494]Counts hairdressers amongst his closest friends
[01:03.650]Is umbilically attached to his mother
[01:08.497]He is careful to conceal at all times his real age
[01:13.252]Is always florid, flamboyant, pale and interesting
[01:18.459]Too good to be true
[01:20.920]But this could be you
[01:23.414]The invert, our hero, is the male sex, release 2.0
[01:30.718]Upgrade today!
[01:33.074]You too may be gay