Now I'm a fella with a heart of gold
The ways of a gentleman
I've been told
The kind of a fella that wouldn't even harm a flea

But if me and a certain character met
That guy that invented that cigarette
I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree

Well not because I don't smoke myself
I don't reckon they'll harm your health
I've smoked all my life and I'm not dead yet

But nicotine slaves are all the same
At a pettin' party or a poker game
Everything's gonna stop while they have a cigarette

Smoke  Smoke  Smoke  that cigarette

Puff  Puff  Puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell Saint Peter at the golden gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just got to have another cigarette

Now in a game of chance the other night
Old Dame Fortune was doing me right
The kings and queens just kept on comin' round

Then I got a phone I bet 'em high
But my bluff didn't work on a certain guy
He just kept on raisin' and layin' that money down

Yeah he'd raise me  and I'd raise him
I sweated blood  gotta sink or swim
He finally called  but he didn't raise the bet

I said aces full  pal
How 'bout you
He said well I-I'm gonna tell you in a minute or two
But right now I got to have a cigarette

Smoke  Smoke  Smoke  that cigarette

Puff  Puff  Puff
And if you smoke yourself to death

Tell Saint Peter at the golden gate
That you hates to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette

Now the other night I had a date
With the cutest little gal in the 48 states
A high bred up-town fancy little dame

She said she loved me
And it seemed to me
That things were about like they oughtta be
So hand in hand we strolled down lover's lane

She was oh so far from a cake of ice
Our smoochin' party was going nice
So help me Hannah I think I've been there yet

I'd give her a kiss and a little squeeze
And she said  "Phil  would you excuse me please
I just got to have a cigarette "

Smoke  Smoke  Smoke  that cigarette

Puff  Puff  Puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell Saint Peter at the golden gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just got to have another cigarette