What a drag it is getting old. "Kids are different today," I hear every mother say Mother needs something today to calm her down And though she's not really ill There's a little yellow pill She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day. "Things are different today," I hear every mother say Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day. Doctor, please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag it is getting old. "Men just aren't the same today," I hear every mother say They just don't appreciate that you get tired They're so hard to satisfy. You can tranquilize your mind So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight. Doctor, please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag it is getting old. Life's just much too hard today," I hear every mother say The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose No more running to the shelter of a mother's little helper They just helped you on your way through your busy dying day.