I'm unfit for jury duty 
I know policemen lie like me 
But to tell... tell the truth 
I'm just not up to the responsibility '
Cause in my day to day life 
The ultimate crime is to live in discontent 
Looking at bad design and wasting my time 
Growing too corpulent 
The extent of the ultimate crime 
Was driving incompetent 
And the ultimate crime could pass for an accident 
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime 
I am standing in the gallery 
When they lead the client in 
And they shave off all his hair 
Until there's nothing left, but shining skull and skin 
And I wake up sweating bullets 
And the ultimate crime is to think it's just a dream 
It happens all the time, out of sight, out of mind 
No one can hear you scream 
We invented the ultimate crime 
For the ultimate punishment 
And the ultimate crime was our greatest accomplishment 
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime 
The ultimate crime was being irreverent 
And the ultimate crime was 
Dropping the sacrament 
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime 
The ultimate crime was being too lenient 
And the ultimate crime was being too ignorant 
The ultimate crime, the ultimate crime 
Is not to care