|
I remember the rosary, the Catechism and the stations of the cross |
|
the plenary indulgence and i know it isn't this |
|
Depression and nightmares and panic through and through |
|
Although i have been successful, there is always more to d. |
|
There are many things i know i have done to help me to survive |
|
but i will never tell anyone as long as i am alive |
|
It seems at times there is no way out, not any to escape |
|
because of abuse and turmoil and trauma and of rape |
|
I feel eyes upon me every minute of the day |
|
hiding all around me, i turn my head away |
|
I've seen them in my bedroom when i am exhausted and done |
|
I've been seeing them for years, but i've never told anyone |
|
I am walking into doors and walls 'cause i am not all there |
|
I've split from a reality, of what i didn't want to share |
|
I can tune out conversations and with what the outside world is |
|
Then sex just didn't matter in my relationships |
|
You can't rely on feelings when love and trust is first betrayed |
|
I enter sexual situations, i really didn't even want to make |
|
'Cause i was anxious, i was bored, or any non-sexual need |
|
When abuse is matched with affection or protection it misleads |
|
I say, "Drop what you do and listen, 'cause now it's me that calls the shots." |
|
This is the sign of a life of out of control adults |
|
I sometimes drink to oblivion, in spite of what i know |
|
I sometimes create chaos anywhere i go |
|
Always anxious, always have to move to help me to forget |
|
feelings of little value or humiliation yet |
|
Because there was no one there for me, i expect people to leave |
|
So, i repeatedly test them and this is what you've done to me |
|
I know they way i've overworked myself has turned out positively |
|
and that many other people don't have my opportunities |
|
but goodness, yeah, you can make it, You are well on your way to heal |
|
because you already know it, and you already know the deal |
|
You are not alone, this is sadism, and this is not your fault |
|
And who would choose to live through this, so it is not yours at all |
|
and you know this was given to you, so let's put it out of your home |
|
and you know that this is not yours, and you are not alone...you are not alone |