You know what  Stuart
I like you
You're not like the other people
Here  in the trailer park
Oh  don't go get me wrong
They're fine people
They're good Americans
But they're content to sit back
Maybe watch a little Mork & Mindy
On channel fifty seven
Maybe kick back a cool
Coors sixteen ouncer
They're good  fine people  Stuart
But they don't know
What the queers
Are doing to the soil
You know that Jonny Wurster kid
The kid that delivers papers
In the neighborhood
He's a foreign kid
Some of the
Neighbors say
He smokes crack
But  I don't believe it
Anyway  for his tenth birthday
All he wanted was a burrow owl
Kept bugging his old man
Dad  get me a burrow owl
I'll never ask for anything else
As long as I live
So the guy breaks down
And buys him a burrow owl
Anyway  ten thirty  the other night
I go out in my yard
And there's the Wurster kid
Looking up in the tree
I say What are you looking for
He says I'm looking for my burrow owl
I say Jumping Jesus
On a Pogo Stick
Everybody knows the burrow owl lives
In a hole  in the ground
Why the hell do you think
They call it a burrow owl  anyway
Now Stuart  do you think
A kid like that is going
To know what the queers
Are doing to the soil
I first became aware
Of this about ten years ago
The summer my oldest boy
Bill Jr  died
You know that carnival comes
Into town every year
Well  this year they came
Through with a ride called The Mixer
The man said Keep your head
And arms inside the Mixer at all times
But Bill Jr  he was a Daredevil
Just like his old man
He was leaning out saying
Hey everybody  look at me
Look at me
Pow  he was decapitated
They found his head over
By the snow cone concession
A few days after that
I open up the mail
And there's a
Pamphlet in there
From Pueblo  Colorado
And it's addressed to Bill  Jr
And it's entitled
Do you know
What the queers
Are doing to our soil
Now  Stuart  if you look
At the soil around any large US city
There's a big underground
Homosexual population
Des Moines  Iowa  for an example
Look at the soil around Des Moines  Stuart
You can't build on it
You can't grow anything in it
The government says
It's due to poor farming
But I know what's
Really going on  Stuart
I know it's the queers
They're in it with the aliens
They're building landing strips
For gay Martians  I swear to God
You know what  Stuart
I like you
You're not like the other people
Here  in this trailer park
Stuart - The Dead Milkmen