[00:00.000] 作词 : Steve Martin
[00:00.078] 作曲 : Steve Martin
[00:00.156]You know, a lot of people ask me if Steve Martin is my real name,
[00:04.145]have I changed it for show business or anything like that.
[00:06.799]Now I'm not ashamed to admit it because I did have a funny name when I was a kid
[00:12.640]and I decided to change it for show business.
[00:14.503]But I think enough time has gone by,
[00:15.826]And audiences are more sophisticated now that they won't laugh at my real name.
[00:24.255]My real name is shit
[00:31.158]my parents had a sense of humor.
[00:32.222]My sister's name was shit
[00:38.065]My mother got to call us for dinner and she goes shit shit
[00:48.349]So I had to move around a lot.
[00:52.059]But other than that I had a very normal childhood.
[00:54.185]I was thinking about this just the other day.
[00:57.107]I was just sitting home doing terrible things to my dog with a fork.
[01:08.001]And I started thinking about when I was in high school.
[01:10.133]I had a real, normal kind of healthy high school.
[01:14.114]I was on the football team, I was a quarterback
[01:16.497]and I quit after two weeks. I'll tell you why,
[01:19.953]because when I'm the quarterback.
[01:22.611]I think I should be calling the plays.
[01:24.201]I don't think the coach should be sending in the plays.
[01:26.595]I'm in charge out there, and that's the way I felt and I had my own strategy.
[01:31.586]I used to like to punt on first down,
[01:38.226]so I quit that, became a cheerleader and that was really fun.
[01:44.333]I got my first experience standing up in front of people,
[01:47.798]and I got my first writing experience. I wrote cheers for the team,
[01:50.979]but the other cheerleaders were so jealous, they would not use one of my cheers.
[01:58.949]I wrote "Die, you gravy-sucking pigs,"
[02:11.963]And "try and make a touchdown, you scum bags."