作词 : Sol Abrahams
作曲 : Sol Abrahams
It’s her first time coming round
And I’m getting ready for it now
I’ve just put a film on YouTube
And a little bit of lynx just so I can set the mood
I’m nervous cos we’ve never met
But you can tell it’s on from the flirts in our texts
And then I’m surprised at what happens next
Cos she answers the door with a six pack of becks
And some vodka and a glass
I drink and I drink till I fall on my arse
And we’re both pissed having good times
I start touching her hand she starts touching mine
And it’s cool cos we’ve started kissing
But I can just tell that there’s something missing
And I’m shocked at what happened next
Cos I couldn’t get it up and now I’m so vexed

What a nightmare
I must of drank bare
Too much in my cup
Cos I can’t get it up
I just can’t get it up

Now I’m sat on the edge of my bed I feel sick
She thinks that it’s her so she calls me a prick
Gets up and leaves quick slamming the door
It’s already ****ed might as well drink more
Chances slim mood is dim
I don’t care anyway I think she’s grim
Well I don’t I mean I’m just saying that
So I can try and make myself feel like less of a twat
This night could it get much shitter
Turns out it could as I open my Twitter
Scroll through my phone and what do I see
She’s only gone and wrote a tweet about me
Oh jheez can’t believe I’ve been exposed
I ****ed up big time and everybody knows
I really hope to god that it doesn’t go viral
I’m never ever drinking again and that’s final