Fat lot of good it's done you 
Tryin' to play the fool 
When we know full well 
You know your ass from your apercu
This club has standards, many 
Try to come up short 
That touch of thickness that makes a 
Proper mesomorph, proper mesomorph 
Five-foot-one, 
Eyes as cold as stone, 
Topped off by that hard blackened helmet, 
And I'm haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head, 
(No way that thing came with that body) 
(instrumental breakdown) 
We, believe, believe 
If, we, believe 
Strike up the band, it's official, 
You've got my back 
Next thing I know, I got me 
A chronic pain in the sacroliliac 
Think it's funny? laugh 
Want your money back? 
Count it out, then, 
One-two-three-four-five-foot-one, 
Eyes as cold as stone, 
Topped off by that fierce viking helmet 
And I'm haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head, 
(No way that thing came with that body) 
And Roxy Music came to save the world, 
And all I got was this lousy T-shirt , 
And I'm haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head, 
(No way that thing came with that body) 
(Instrumental fadeout)