作词 : Yankovich I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France, genius in France, genius in FranceHoom chaka laka Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese I got a negative number on my S.A.T.'sI'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in FrancePeople say I'm a geek, I'm a moronic little freak And annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek They dig my mystique, they think I'm c'est magnifique When I'm in Paree, I'm the chicest of the chic They love my body odor and my bad toupee They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret And when I'm sipping on a PerrierIn some cafe town in St. Tropez It's hard to keep the fans at bay They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait""Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait" Hemenene humenene Himenene homenene, poodle, poodle Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool Got too much chlorine in my gene pool A few peas short of a casserole A few buttons missing on my remote control A few fries short of a happy meal I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants And if you ask 'em why? You're bound to get this response(He's a genius in France, genius in France) That's right(He's a genius in France, genius in France) You know it(He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France) I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree They say, "Bonjour, MonsieurWould you take ze picture with me?" I say, "Oui, oui" That's right I say, "Oui, oui" Oui, ouiHe says, "Oui, oui" I'm dumber than a box of hair But those Frenchies don't seem to care Don't know why, mon frere But they love me there I'm a genius in France, I'm a genius in FranceGonna make a big splash when I show up in CannesGonna make those Frenchies scream"You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!" Like a fine Renoir, I've got that je me c'est quoi Like a fine Renoir, I've got that je me c'est Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo we oo Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo we oo Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy bow I'm a taco short of a combo plate But by some twist of fate, all the frogs think I'm greatOh, the men all faint and the women scream They like me more than heavy cream When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie They think I'm awfully witty, a riot and a half When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh(Haw haw haw haw haw) And laugh(Haw haw haw haw haw haw) People in France have lots of attitude They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food But when they see me, they just come unglued They think that I am one happening dude Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball But they like me better than Charles De GaulleEntre nous, it's very true The room temperature's higher than my I.Q.But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu How did this happen I don't have a clue I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm I don't have any skills or grace or charm And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants But I'm a genius in France, genius in France, genius in FranceAnd I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back I'm never, never, never, never goin' back home again I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick' Cause I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back The girls back home never gave me a chance But I sho' 'nuff got them frogs in some kinda trance And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance But "Great Googily Moogily", I'm a genius in FranceEvery Frenchie that I meetJust can't wait to kiss my feet Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite! Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left I'm the biggest dork there is alive My mom picked out my clothes for me till I was thirty five And I forgot to mention I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention But the Frenchies think That my poop don't stink I'm a genius in FranceSay, would you pass the Grey Poupon? Merci beaucoup