(spoken)
Hello
My name is The Man With The Mustache
And if we ever met before
I'm sure I will see you soon
And I know you've probably been curious and scared
This has awoken feelings inside of your loins and private parts that you haven't experienced before
Understandable
Whisper it in my ear
Talk to my mustache because it hears you
And it listens to you
Where can I massage you that will ease your pain?
Come with me
And ride on my magical mustache
C'est fini! 
Merci beaucoup pas tout. 
Je suis le Man With The Mustache.
It's ok to shave your private parts
Why do birds sing when I appear?
Man With the Mustache doesn't have to do math
He has sex with ladies
Do that math