Once there was a man
And so I am told
That he could swallow the dirt
Then shit into gold
With a wave of his hand
And the wink of an eye
He turned raindrops to
Diamonds in the sky
But whatever he did
No matter who he helped
He was unable to help himself
But whatever he did
No matter who he helped
He was unable to help himself
Who, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
God played a trick,
So he looked up and he screamed
"Why can't the truth
Be the same as I dreamed?"
God played a joke,
So he looked up and he screamed
"Why can't all things
Be just as they seem?" 
But whatever he did
No matter who he helped
He was unable to help himself
Whatever he did
No matter who he helped
He was unable to help himself
Who, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh